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@MarlaSinger - I am sorry for your loss and for what happened to you. Thank you for sharing your experience.

This goes to show that regardless of where we are we need to always have situational awareness at our forefront of all ouilr actions. When we are in the midst of grief, or other emotions, we unconsciously open ourselves up to others who appear empathetic. I am not saying, not to work through emotions, necause we need to...healing takes time...both physically and emotionally...but emotions do leave us sort of vulnerable at times. When we experience strong emotions, we need to be more aware.

Thank you for sharing.
 
Look at what happened to Chris Kyle, talk about a guy with "great skills" which made no difference.
Kyle's killer had been in and out of mental hospitals for at least two years and had been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I'm not sure why Kyle thought it a good idea to take Routh to the range, but he did, and we all know the rest of the story.

-E-
 
Doesn't matter what the circumstance was, people go off their nut more commonly than we expect.
@MarlaSinger, glad you survived.
Can you recall any tells that you ignored?
I tell my kids (and myself), trust intuition.
Circumstances behind the shooting I guess is what I am asking. What motivated this guy to do what he did?

-E-
 
@MarlaSinger
I am glad that you survived.

Life often turns on a dime...and rarely gives you change back.

Take this experience and learn from it.
That said...
The lessons learned may be long in coming and change over time.
As far as trust goes....I would suggest :
Not letting this experience keep you from trusting those who deserve your trust...
Otherwise your "friend" is still exerting some control over you.
Andy
I have thought long and hard on this and I have recently started dating again. It's disturbing to some but not for me. If I sit in my house and stew over this especially while coming out of a pandemic, I fear I will miss opportunities and social situations to meet people who do deserve my time and trust. I only let my guard down temporarily because I really suffered from the loss of my father. I was literally in a fog for 6 months. 3 before and 3 after his death. The only thing that pulled me out was the possibility of losing my own life.
 
I have thought long and hard on this and I have recently started dating again. It's disturbing to some but not for me. If I sit in my house and stew over this especially while coming out of a pandemic, I fear I will miss opportunities and social situations to meet people who do deserve my time and trust. I only let my guard down temporarily because I really suffered from the loss of my father. I was literally in a fog for 6 months. 3 before and 3 after his death. The only thing that pulled me out was the possibility of losing my own life.
"Liked"...
Not for the suffering or loss....but liked for the spirit of not giving up.

PTSD....
You mentioned this in your OP.
While I understand that PTSD affects everyone differently....
I would suggest learning what it feels like when it starts coming on.
Then take whatever mental steps to remind yourself that you are safe , you are strong , you are in control.

PTSD can creep along the edges of mind daily....even hourly....
Again...it is your life and your mind...learn to recognize how PTSD feels and works on you.
Learn ways to cope with it...Learn to run it...instead of it running you.
Andy

Edit to add :
The above is just a suggestion....I do not wish to tell anyone what to do......
 
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This is a tragic story, told in a way that yields a sense of casualness and calm. I'm a bit confused by the way it was presented and the requests to not be a punching bag or reply with any masculine ego.............?
Have you ever tried sharing something personal on the internet? Well let me tell you what happens… everyone, everyone has their own opinion. Doesnt matter if its right or wrong or even has anything to do with what you actually said. There will be haters, conspiracy theories and the like and every single one of them will share with you. Its easier, when you are sharing a story for a specific reason to ask for certain responses to be censored than it is to handle the fire they create in an open chat! Lol trying to stay on topic isnt a bad thing, would you have liked me to use more pc language to describe what I needed? Its not like it really worked either way… one or 2 comments in someone is already apologizing for doing exactly what I requested be left out. I apologize if my usage has offended you sir😇 please let me know if I need to correct anything for your comfort. (Im being serious! Not snide!) once upon a time over a year ago a male member posted something silly about women that I took to heart and he apologized and changed his language. I am just offering the same courtesy.
 
Ditto. Why?

I don't think someone would try to kill me, but I have an ex that is revengeful, manipulative and mentally ill.

I've also been manipulated by others. Maybe they sense how naïve I sometimes am?

So, I have trust issues. Makes it hard to have friends whom I trust and/or relationships.

I don't trust people whom are simple acquaintances (co-workers and associates) - I used to, but have had too many who were nice to my face and trying to stab me in the back in reality. I don't even completely trust my neighbors, and I've known them for decades and they have been friendly/kind to me. Most of this is because I am sure there is a façade there, and I don't know what they say/think about me in private.

Even my own family - people I have known all my life. I am their family, but they have their spouses and kids, and I would expect them to put those first before a sibling. The only person I really trust is my daughter - but even there I keep things from her because she doesn't need the additional stress.
This explains why all those times I offered to come help w fire wood you said no! Lol💜
 
I honestly dont know what his full intentions were except that he meant to kill me and he failed. It was written up as a domestic violence dispute because in the state of Washington thats what you are if youve gone out on a single date. In reality we were just trying to work out being friends. I trusted this person completely. They had been in my home. Seen my security system. Agreed with me on everything I was doing. But unfortunately I was too set into my grief having recently lost my father 3 months earlier to a nasty form of cancer. I did not see the signs or stop to think about why he was incredibly super nice until unfortunately it was too late, He shot me in the head. I know what you're thinking. Im lucky. This isnt true. How could she been so stupid? Believe me! I think the same things to myself daily for the last month. But there are ppl in this world that are just the best at lying, and unfortunately, even with my great skills he got one over on me and it almost ended my life. This post isn't intended to scare anyone, as it is an eye opener to the increasingly steady amount of violence that is surrounding us in the Washington and Portland areas. It will be an open discussions on what you do and what happens when you survive such a horrific situation. Its not a post to be overly masculine or enraged in so please, egos in the back seat! If you care to talk and share I will be more than happy to discuss things, but I am not here to be anyone's punching bag so if you have an off hand comment and nothing helpful to contribute, please keep it to yourself. More later!
I know this will upset some of you, but there are some good points in these replies. I wont finish this story till the trial is over. Thank you for the people who were supportive and or funny! We all need to learn to laugh at our misfortunes too survive them.
I felt that this story went along with prepping because you need a community of preppers to be successful but its a great reminder of not letting your guard down for the wrong people even when they seem right.
To the people who mentioned Chris Kyle💜, I adore him and try my best to live my life the same. In the past I have been hurt by what I had done for veterans and since my father was the veteran and not myself. I have taken temporary leave of working with disabled veterans because of still handling the loss of my veteran father and still recouping from what the last veteran had done to me physically. Helping and being in the service of others who have experienced such heinous acts of destruction such as being ground zero in a war zone and surviving is not an easy task. I commend Chris Kyle for his helping heart and all the other workers who put in the efforts daily💜 with that being said, I have survived a bullet, blood infection, scalp, infection, hair loss, tinnitus, nerve damage, possibility of blindness and Im still fighting a blood clot that can take me at any moment. I am still here:) I am still strong! I am still fighting for 2A and if you see me on the range, just be patient with me. The ptsd is the worst:( oh and to the member that commented on me being so calm… I am a trained emt:) and Im mostly Irish! If we can do one thing, its knowing how to tell a good story:D
Best wishes for full recovery, in mind body and spirit! God bless you...
 
"Liked"...
Not for the suffering or loss....but liked for the spirit of not giving up.

PTSD....
You mentioned this in your OP.
While I understand that PTSD affects everyone differently....
I would suggest learning what it feels like when it starts coming on.
Then take whatever mental steps to remind yourself that you are safe , you are strong , you are in control.

PTSD can creep along the edges of mind daily....even hourly....
Again...it is your life and your mind...learn to recognize how PTSD feels and works on you.
Learn ways to cope with it...Learn to run it...instead of it running you.
Andy

Edit to add :
The above is just a suggestion....I do wish to tell anyone what to do......
So unfortunately I live close to the shotgun club:( Thankfully I know the difference of the sound if a shotgun blast and a 9mm Blasting through my scalp! Because the ptsd other than just constant tension for my safety robs me of my sleep and has for weeks now. All my dreams are of it. Its like on replay and I have relived this event at-least 100 extra times at this point. It's starting too simmer down a bit as i get out and do other things so being active as I possibly can be is a good thing. Its kinda like a roller coaster youre not in control of the track:/I just still get very tired easily and Im taking day to day. Im resilient:D
 
So unfortunately I live close to the shotgun club:( Thankfully I know the difference of the sound if a shotgun blast and a 9mm Blasting through my scalp! Because the ptsd other than just constant tension for my safety robs me of my sleep and has for weeks now. All my dreams are of it. Its like on replay and I have relived this event at-least 100 extra times at this point. It's starting too simmer down a bit as i get out and do other things so being active as I possibly can be is a good thing. Its kinda like a roller coaster youre not in control of the track:/I just still get very tired easily and Im taking day to day. Im resilient:D
Something to consider here....

You are not the same person now as you were then.
Even your physical being is different.
Therefore....
You can be different...you can allow for growth and understanding.
You are here now....and not stuck in some past event

Allowing yourself to be ______fill in the blank here , with whatever emotions or thoughts , that you have or need....
Is important.
Also understanding that what if , or what could have happened , did not...
One can easily get caught up in the what if's and could haves....and lose out on today's promise.

That said...
This takes time and needs to happen on your timetable and not someone else's.

Sleeping loss and tension are two partners who walk hand in hand with PTSD.
I would suggest :
Setting aside time for yourself ....to focus on the positive will be helpful here.
It is easy to get lost in the forest of constant sleep loss and tension .
Setting aside time for you to re-focus and take stock of yourself can help guide you on the path out of that forest.
Andy
 
Very sorry that you had such a terrible experience.

Professional counseling would probably help you come to grips with what happened a bit faster. If you're a praying person, then prayer will help.

I'm one of those people who has serious 'trust issues'. Evil exists, and sometimes we get blindsided by it.

But Good also exists. Try to surround yourself with as much Goodness as you can. In my experience, just being involved in wholesome activities with wholesome people is beneficial.

When I was a kid, I had the experience of being made to get on my knees while an older boy held an arrow to my temple with the bow fully drawn. Fortunately, all he wanted was to be a bully. But I learned that Evil can show up anytime, anywhere.

We have a new member in our extended family, who wants to go shooting with me. Maybe that will happen, but I don't plan to put a loaded gun into his hands until I get to know him much, much better.

I wish there was an easy and quick way to restore our faith in humanity, once that has been damaged or lost.

Good luck to you, ma'am. I'm glad you survived.
 
What happens is… your general trust in people is crushed. Bad things happen to good people. It is even worse when it is from someone within your close circle. As others have said, PTSD is real and there are real world warriors who carry that burden. Military, emergency services, AND the rest of the population too! There are amazing services available for survivors of violent crimes. The YWCA has survivor services assistance. If that is not your vibe, please call 2-1-1, a clearinghouse of services available in our region. …and free.
 
Rules To Live By: :s0093:

1. Don't ever marry someone you wouldn't go into business with.
2. Loaning money to a family member has less odds of a return than a crap table.
3. An acquaintance is different from a friend.
4. Always stand behind the shooter.
5. Before taking a new train, check the baggage car.
6. Exes often don't consider themselves as such.
 
Something to consider here....

You are not the same person now as you were then.
Even your physical being is different.
Therefore....
You can be different...you can allow for growth and understanding.
You are here now....and not stuck in some past event

Allowing yourself to be ______fill in the blank here , with whatever emotions or thoughts , that you have or need....
Is important.
Also understanding that what if , or what could have happened , did not...
One can easily get caught up in the what if's and could haves....and lose out on today's promise.

That said...
This takes time and needs to happen on your timetable and not someone else's.

Sleeping loss and tension are two partners who walk hand in hand with PTSD.
I would suggest :
Setting aside time for yourself ....to focus on the positive will be helpful here.
It is easy to get lost in the forest of constant sleep loss and tension .
Setting aside time for you to re-focus and take stock of yourself can help guide you on the path out of that forest.
Andy
Wisdom words...
 
Have you ever tried sharing something personal on the internet? Well let me tell you what happens… everyone, everyone has their own opinion. Doesnt matter if its right or wrong or even has anything to do with what you actually said. There will be haters, conspiracy theories and the like and every single one of them will share with you. Its easier, when you are sharing a story for a specific reason to ask for certain responses to be censored than it is to handle the fire they create in an open chat! Lol trying to stay on topic isnt a bad thing, would you have liked me to use more pc language to describe what I needed? Its not like it really worked either way… one or 2 comments in someone is already apologizing for doing exactly what I requested be left out. I apologize if my usage has offended you sir😇 please let me know if I need to correct anything for your comfort. (Im being serious! Not snide!) once upon a time over a year ago a male member posted something silly about women that I took to heart and he apologized and changed his language. I am just offering the same courtesy.
No apologies needed. When a thread starts off with "rules" of what kind of responses are acceptable I always wonder WHY said rules are in place. Nothing more.

I'm glad you are recovering from this terrible experience. Don't let him win.
 
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