How to Get a Blank Stare from a Mall Ninja

[teflon6string]

Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

Never saw that flick but the ads I saw made me think of the security guard I knew.

Tried International Assassin (same actor) for free on Netflix a couple weeks ago and lasted about 20 minutes.

 

[Diamondback]

Mall Ninjas will never know the sweet, sweet touch of a woman.

And that's probably for the best.

(for the record, I have no idea what this thread is about, but I get that we're making fun of something called "Mall Ninjas", so in the interests of belonging, I'm faking street cred)

Shrine of the Mall Ninja

 

[Vendor Hidden]

Shrine of the Mall Ninja

Wow!
Was that a parody? I only read a few minutes, but it's worth visiting later to get let the complete artistic vision shine.

 

[Diamondback]

To this day, nobody knows... just do a Google on Gecko45.

"Todd" is Todd Bailey, longtime sleazeball and trash-gun builder.

 

[Vendor Hidden]

To this day, nobody knows... just do a Google on Gecko45.

"Todd" is Todd Bailey, longtime sleazeball and trash-gun builder.

I'm bookmarking that site if only as inspiration for my writing. I'm always on the lookout for oddball characters.

 

[Diamondback]

I'm bookmarking that site if only as inspiration for my writing. I'm always on the lookout for oddball characters.

Then also take a google at Gunkid and his assault wheelbarrow... and I suppose if the site still exists I could refer you to a Criminal Minds fanfiction forum where I used to be an SME consultant and pitched in a couple oddballs. (Imagine an insane, autistic-savant ninja headhunted by the FBI to be an American version of a "Double-O" partnered with a Pave Low helicopter that has the brute computing power of Skynet, enough horsepower to glider-tow a fully-loaded B-36 bomber, weaponry to slag an entire armored brigade and a Pinocchio Complex.)

 

[Caveman Jim]

Cheers brothers.

View attachment 428502

Now you're talkin, ain't none of that sudsy fuzzy stuff for the caveman, Crown Royal rules!!!

 

[Wolf256]

HA HA !!
I am recalling a time when I was at sea conducting a fire drill in the engine room. I was observing/instructing a smart a$$ new kid in the art of not getting your a$$ burned up. When he turned away from the "fire" to retreat I smashed his helmet with my 6 D cell flashlight and instructed him on the proper way to back out. The XO only shook his head and said, "Chief you can't hit them anymore". Some guys learn quicker than others, and some don't.

~Whitney

I just read your post, above, to my husband (ENC, USN, Ret.) he had a laugh and responded with "that's why I started hitting lockers". He has told the stories of taking misbehaving seamen on the pier behind the dumpsters to "knock some sense into them", but that doesn't work underway. Fair Winds Chief

 

[Diamondback]

Let's see, point your butt at the hatchway, back up and just roll through? (Those things were how Bowfin rung my bell but good over at Pearl...)

 

[Certaindeaf]

When you're carrying a Model-10.. and his 2.5' (two and a half foot long) "pistol" is in his momma's basement closet, x miles away.
lulz
classic

 

[Boboclown]

Damn, now I feel like a mall ninja for having a 1911 instead of a revolver (I do need to get a single action revolver though...).

Bad enough I gotta be a millennial.

 

[Diamondback]

When you're carrying a Model-10.. and his 2.5' (two and a half foot long) "pistol" is in his momma's basement closet, x miles away.
lulz
classic

LOL, what about when your just-over-2' "pistol" is lurking in the laptop-case right next to you just needing tube-unfold and off-safe?

 

[Wolf256]

Ya can't help when you were born, just don't act like the idiots.

Boomer here and I love my 1911's.

 

[Certaindeaf]

LOL, what about when your just-over-2' "pistol" is lurking in the laptop-case right next to you just needing tube-unfold and off-safe?

A rolling ninja closet, so clever.. I won't tell mom.
lol

 

[Diamondback]

Damn, now I feel like a mall ninja for having a 1911 instead of a revolver (I do need to get a single action revolver though...).

Bad enough I gotta be a millennial.

No, 1911s are for snobs, not Mall Ninjas. Everybody knows Mall Ninjas are divided between Block and HK "Because You SUCK And We HATE YOU" tribes of Gearqueer Fanbois... LOL

 

[Diamondback]

A rolling ninja closet, so clever.. I won't tell mom.
lol

They say a pistol is for fighting your way back to your rifle... a Briefcase AR just cuts the distance you have to maintain that fight for.

 

[Certaindeaf]

They say a pistol is for fighting your way back to your rifle... a Briefcase AR just cuts the distance you have to maintain that fight for.

yeabut fight's over before blinkytimes, evertimes

 

[Boboclown]

No, 1911s are for snobs, not Mall Ninjas. Everybody knows Mall Ninjas are divided between Block and HK "Because You SUCK And We HATE YOU" tribes of Gearqueer Fanbois... LOL

What the Steyr AUG? Oh wait... The Tavor took the mall ninja spotlight for bullpups.

Guess I'm just a snob for bullpups?

 

[olddanshooter]

Not sure what a mall ninja remembers about his time in the Navy, but my experience shipboard was that it's either Stomper level booger-freezing cold or ball-sweating hot. Only did 3 of 20 years on the boat (after the first 3 years I stayed land based by design) but I remember floating around Norway in January or the Red Sea in July. Suck factor 9.5.

DD214 issued and filed. Someday the kids will open the safe after the funeral and wonder what it is.

 

[Certaindeaf]

Not sure what a mall ninja remembers about his time in the Navy, but my experience shipboard was that it's either Stomper level booger-freezing cold or ball-sweating hot. Only did 3 of 20 years on the boat (after the first 3 years I stayed land based by design) but I remember floating around Norway in January or the Red Sea in July. Suck factor 9.5.

DD214 issued and filed. Someday the kids will open the safe after the funeral and wonder what it is.

Buy them the shirt to break them in.. prolly.