Tell me you're carrying, without telling me you're carrying

[po18guy]

Schrodinger's gat.

It is possible to both have and not have genitals at the same time.

 

[kopcicle]

A long time ago in a galaxy far away...

Oops, wrong intro.

It's time for felony feud. The law enforcement game show where we examine interactions between cops and robbers.

I pull into the local general store to find the sheriff's office staging for a warrant service. How do I know this fusterkluck is there to serve a warrant?
The trunks of several units are open, and deputies are donning ballistic vests.
Carbines and shotguns are coming out and being checked.
The paper warrant is being circulated so all know the limits and exclusions.
The one former motor officer and patrol Sergeant that I'm acquainted with has a quizzical look on his face.
It's Saturday morning.

I approach deputy Seargent Brown and ask
"So, who is the candygram for"?
Seargent Brown "What, is it that obvious"?
"Well, yeah"
Seargent Brown "How so"? finally smiling and leading me on knowing I have a mouth full and am ready to spill.

Raise my voice so all can hear.

"Let's play felony feud. The law enforcement game where we pit cops against robbers. Today we explore just how many ways serving a felony warrant can go pear shaped in a hurry".

"So, when the door knocker over here approaches the door like a female East German Olympic weightlifter on steroids with shoulder holster leather showing at the lapel of a worn twice leather jacket, over flannel shirt, with obvious pounds (bullet resistant vest) underneath, badge on belt showing from underneath the waistband of the jacket, with an earpiece in the ear, and handcuffs printing the back pocket, what could possibly go wrong"?
"5) They see you coming from 200yds and anything in the limits and exclusions of the warrant go into the fireplace before you can even approach the door.
4) You make it to the door unaware that the two most common methods of answering a door to a stranger dressed like her is either a 30-30 in which case I hope that vest has a plate in it, or a gage in the face, in which case I hope your insurance is paid up and your affairs are in order.
3)They actually answer the door but laugh in your face because I didn't see a wet stamp or signature on that calling card unless someone here has the original
2)They answer the door, but everyone claims to be the felon as he slips away into the woods.
1)no one answers, and no one is home because they know you're here. "

Door knocking deputy confronts me with "You sure seem to know a lot about our business for a ..."
I cut her off with ".. a leather clad scruffy looking bit of biker trash with an attitude"?
Before her or anyone can get their mouth started.
"I respect public servants in general and law enforcement specifically in ways and detail that are not part of today's discussion. I'm trying to help. From what I've seen so far you need all the help you can get"
I turn to the prospective door knocker and repeat,
"With shoulder holster leather showing at the lapel of a worn twice leather jacket, over flannel shirt, with obvious pounds (bullet resistant vest) underneath, badge on belt showing from underneath the waistband of the jacket, with an earpiece in the ear, and handcuffs printing the back pocket, what could possibly go wrong"?
All she can come up with is "I need to see some ID"?
"Gladly" I say but one last thing before you all get distracted. Does anyone have a photo of the felon in question"?
The doorknocker says "Of course we do. I still need to see some ID."

Wait for it ...

"Then why didn't you serve the warrant when he walked out of store, right past all of you as I pulled up. Or do you intend to knock on his door when he knows you are coming or are the limits and exclusions for the address and the resident not or the resident. In any case you're doing it wrong."

A near chorus of " How do you know who we're serving?" erupts from all but Seargent Brown who is desperately attempting to contain a belly laugh.

"Because you're not here for me and the only other possible alleged felon in the neighborhood the bubble gummer up the street by the name of _______________"

Crickets

"I still need to see some ID" says the doorknocker.
"Sure, happy to oblige." as I produce my driver's license, passport (just because I had it on me and it showed some curious travels, and to rub it in) and my concealed weapons permit.
"I thought you said you were a felon" says the doorknocker.
At this point Seargent brown can't contain himself any longer and says,
"A little early for an afternoon snack don't you think Dennis"?
"Seargent, she looks like she's got plenty to spare, and it really is just a near brush with death. She'll get over it and maybe even thank me later."
"Deputy" I say to the doorknocker, " I said alleged felon. Last I checked felons don't have concealed weapon permits and would find it difficult if not impossible to travel where I have."
Deputy doorknocker asks, "Are you armed?"
"Of course, I am, why else would I show my permit other than to avoid getting shot over a not so simple stop and ID after I've been such a complete azzhat"?

The details are important. I was just coming from the local range and was carrying a Ser 70 under the left arm, a Gov GI at 3 O'clock IWB, a .380 SOB, and a .32 on the left ankle. I also had reloads for all along with a pair of handcuffs on my belt. A brief but benign show and tell ensues where I'm not relieved of any firearm, and I zip the jacket and return to sitting on the bike wondering what's next.

Deputy doorknocker finally asks, "What are the handcuffs for?"
"Boojums, Zombies, and lawful detainer when necessary."
Random deputy asks, "Do you have a key?"
"Hell no, If I feel strongly enough about placing handcuffs on anyone, law enforcement can come and take them off."

"Are we done here?"
Seargent Brown " I think you've made quite the impression here Dennis. I think we're done here."

"Good, class dismissed"

The events reported here are real (surreal?). The names (other than my own) have been changed for purposes of qualified immunity.

 

[Certaindeaf]

A long time ago in a galaxy far away...

Oops, wrong intro.

It's time for felony feud. The law enforcement game show where we examine interactions between cops and robbers.

I pull into the local general store to find the sheriff's office staging for a warrant service. How do I know this fusterkluck is there to serve a warrant?
The trunks of several units are open, and deputies are donning ballistic vests.
Carbines and shotguns are coming out and being checked.
The paper warrant is being circulated so all know the limits and exclusions.
The one former motor officer and patrol Sergeant that I'm acquainted with has a quizzical look on his face.
It's Saturday morning.

I approach deputy Seargent Brown and ask
"So, who is the candygram for"?
Seargent Brown "What, is it that obvious"?
"Well, yeah"
Seargent Brown "How so"? finally smiling and leading me on knowing I have a mouth full and am ready to spill.

Raise my voice so all can hear.

"Let's play felony feud. The law enforcement game where we pit cops against robbers. Today we explore just how many ways serving a felony warrant can go pear shaped in a hurry".

"So, when the door knocker over here approaches the door like a female East German Olympic weightlifter on steroids with shoulder holster leather showing at the lapel of a worn twice leather jacket, over flannel shirt, with obvious pounds (bullet resistant vest) underneath, badge on belt showing from underneath the waistband of the jacket, with an earpiece in the ear, and handcuffs printing the back pocket, what could possibly go wrong"?
"5) They see you coming from 200yds and anything in the limits and exclusions of the warrant go into the fireplace before you can even approach the door.
4) You make it to the door unaware that the two most common methods of answering a door to a stranger dressed like her is either a 30-30 in which case I hope that vest has a plate in it, or a gage in the face, in which case I hope your insurance is paid up and your affairs are in order.
3)They actually answer the door but laugh in your face because I didn't see a wet stamp or signature on that calling card unless someone here has the original
2)They answer the door, but everyone claims to be the felon as he slips away into the woods.
1)no one answers, and no one is home because they know you're here. "

Door knocking deputy confronts me with "You sure seem to know a lot about our business for a ..."
I cut her off with ".. a leather clad scruffy looking bit of biker trash with an attitude"?
Before her or anyone can get their mouth started.
"I respect public servants in general and law enforcement specifically in ways and detail that are not part of today's discussion. I'm trying to help. From what I've seen so far you need all the help you can get"
I turn to the prospective door knocker and repeat,
"With shoulder holster leather showing at the lapel of a worn twice leather jacket, over flannel shirt, with obvious pounds (bullet resistant vest) underneath, badge on belt showing from underneath the waistband of the jacket, with an earpiece in the ear, and handcuffs printing the back pocket, what could possibly go wrong"?
All she can come up with is "I need to see some ID"?
"Gladly" I say but one last thing before you all get distracted. Does anyone have a photo of the felon in question"?
The doorknocker says "Of course we do. I still need to see some ID."

Wait for it ...

"Then why didn't you serve the warrant when he walked out of store, right past all of you as I pulled up. Or do you intend to knock on his door when he knows you are coming or are the limits and exclusions for the address and the resident not or the resident. In any case you're doing it wrong."

A near chorus of " How do you know who we're serving?" erupts from all but Seargent Brown who is desperately attempting to contain a belly laugh.

"Because you're not here for me and the only other possible alleged felon in the neighborhood the bubble gummer up the street by the name of _______________"

Crickets

"I still need to see some ID" says the doorknocker.
"Sure, happy to oblige." as I produce my driver's license, passport (just because I had it on me and it showed some curious travels, and to rub it in) and my concealed weapons permit.
"I thought you said you were a felon" says the doorknocker.
At this point Seargent brown can't contain himself any longer and says,
"A little early for an afternoon snack don't you think Dennis"?
"Seargent, she looks like she's got plenty to spare, and it really is just a near brush with death. She'll get over it and maybe even thank me later."
"Deputy" I say to the doorknocker, " I said alleged felon. Last I checked felons don't have concealed weapon permits and would find it difficult if not impossible to travel where I have."
Deputy doorknocker asks, "Are you armed?"
"Of course, I am, why else would I show my permit other than to avoid getting shot over a not so simple stop and ID after I've been such a complete azzhat"?

The details are important. I was just coming from the local range and was carrying a Ser 70 under the left arm, a Gov GI at 3 O'clock IWB, a .380 SOB, and a .32 on the left ankle. I also had reloads for all along with a pair of handcuffs on my belt. A brief but benign show and tell ensues where I'm not relieved of any firearm, and I zip the jacket and return to sitting on the bike wondering what's next.

Deputy doorknocker finally asks, "What are the handcuffs for?"
"Boojums, Zombies, and lawful detainer when necessary."
Random deputy asks, "Do you have a key?"
"Hell no, If I feel strongly enough about placing handcuffs on anyone, law enforcement can come and take them off."

"Are we done here?"
Seargent Brown " I think you've made quite the impression here Dennis. I think we're done here."

"Good, class dismissed"

The events reporter here are real (surreal?). The names (other than my own) have been changed for purposes of qualified immunity.

Yeabut this thread is about french fried pertaters.

 

[kopcicle]

Yeabut this thread is about french fried pertaters.

Crap, someone that knows me ...

 

[MikeInOr]

I carry EVERYDAY, everywhere it is legal. I don't tell anyone that I carry (except my girlfriend who often asks when we are somewhere remote or unfamiliar even though she knows I am). If anyone else wants to know they will have to find out the hard way!

I am not a free walking billboard for anyone... neither are my vehicles!

 

[Stomper]

Yeabut this thread is about french fried pertaters.

Crap, someone that knows me ...

 

[USAF Medic]

The best one I've seen yet - A big fat USCCA sticker on the back of a truck.

Does this thing make me look fat?

 

[sobo]

Gray man here... Carry everywhere I can. Tell no one...
No stickers on the vehicles nor on the home anymore.
I took off the green sign on my screen door.

This one:

 

[sobo]

Does this thing make me look fat?

 

[wired]

You can tell Im carrying a gun because theres a gun attached to my belt in the open where I can get to it easily

 

[Member 53328]

You can tell Im carrying a gun because theres a gun attached to my belt in the open where I can get to it easily

This you? Haha JK.

 

[Xrperry]

i always wear jeans, the legs are always long enough to cover my ankles, and baggy enough not to imprint. Not the best place to pack but no one will know I am packing a sig p938.

 

[Capn Jack]

Yer ankle is too fer to reach, or do you bend over saying, "My Velcro is Loose"?

 

[Member 66129]

If you've ever been in a crowded area and have had your pistol and a strangers pistol make contact….

Nice clank sound.

Look at eachother, nod, and be on your way. Haha

 

[Gbirk]

Now that's a ginormous Dunlop!!!

I read that as dewlap.

We have pet bunnies, and the females have skin folds under their chin called dewlaps, I guess the human equivalent is a Dunlap?

I don't know it made me chuckle.

 

[Caveman Jim]

Gray man here... Carry everywhere I can. Tell no one...
No stickers on the vehicles nor on the home anymore.
I took off the green sign on my screen door.

This one:

View attachment 1314998

I can agree wholeheartedly if you live in a city with liberal (communist) neighbors. Out here in the sticks we DGAS about tipping someone off that we're gun carriers, everyone is.

 

[sobo]

I read that as dewlap.

We have pet bunnies, and the females have skin folds under their chin called dewlaps, I guess the human equivalent is a Dunlap?

I don't know it made me chuckle.

View attachment 1316364

I had pet bunnies from the time my GF moved in (1999) to when we got married (2001), to the time we got divorced and she moved out (2010) and took the bunnies with her. She's still got pet bunnies, but a whole lot less of them now that the home she's in is one she paid for. Makes a world of difference depending upon who's paying the bills...

 

[Gbirk]

I had pet bunnies from the time my GF moved in (1999) to when we got married (2001), to the time we got divorced and she moved out (2010) and took the bunnies with her. She's still got pet bunnies, but a whole lot less of them now that the home she's in is one she paid for. Makes a world of difference depending upon who's paying the bills...

Ours live outside. I can't imagine indoor bunnies. The mess and destruction would be biblical.

 

[sobo]

Ours live outside. I can't imagine indoor bunnies. The mess and destruction would be biblical.

Oh, you don't know the quarter of it...

 

[peternov01]

Unless I'm out trying to show off my new holster I don't want anyone to even think I have a gun.