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I think owning at least 1 endura and 1 delica will show you if the spydie life is right for you. It's almost a glock 19 pocket knife.I am primarily a Spyderco supporter (admittedly biased) but do own a few Benchmades. Benchmade has a much different philosophy to their knife designs where they go for aesthetics first and function second. Not saying Benchmades don't have good designs or are weak, etc... they just design from a different direction. Spyderco on the other hand starts with function first and designs from there pushing the edge with the latest steels, striving for new locks, working with new makers on joint designs. A Spyderco may not always be the sexiest knife but you hold it and use it and that knife just feels right for the designed purpose.
Hard to recommend some models without understanding what type of lock you prefer, ideal blade length, desired ease of blade sharpening which directly relates to working edge retention, desired opening method i.e. thumbstud vs. spydie hole vs. flipper, preferred lock type and anything else that is relevant to your needs. A Spyderco Military, Paramilitary 2, Endura, Delica, Stretch, Manix 2, Shaman, Bradley folder, Kapara, Sage, Caly 3.5 or 3 would be wide swath to take a look at. Benchmades I would say Bugout, Griptillian, Redoubt, 940/943, Freek, Crooked River (mini or full size) gives a good spectrum of what they are currently producing.