Grid Down, this is not a drill.

[Flopsweat]

He went out like Mama Cass.

 

[Yarome]

He went out like Mama Cass.

Not sure who Mama Cass is. What does she have to do with the choking of the chicken?

 

[Flopsweat]

Not sure who Mama Cass is. What does she have to do with the choking of the chicken?

Singer in the band the Mommas and the Poppas. Died in a hotel room by choking on a ham sandwich.



* Actually, that was a story made up for the press. In reality, she was grossly overweight and did a lot of drugs. She died of a very predictable heart attack. One of her friends went to her house and cleared out all of the drugs before any pictures could be taken.

 

[Certaindeaf]

Chicken with its head cut off. I'm told that running around like one of these is the proper way to react to the grid going down.

Modified Stationary Panic is always proscribed by Patrick McManus.

 

[Flopsweat]

Modified Stationary Panic is always proscribed by Patrick McManus.

McManus on getting lost in the woods:

...Although it will do absolutely no good, I must advise against undertaking a Full Bore Linear Panic unless, of course, one is equipped with a stout heart, a three-day supply of food, and a valid passport. Instead, I recommend the Stationary or Modified Panic. It offers the same therapeutic effect and subsides after a few minutes with none of the FBLP's adverse side-effects, such as making your life insurance company break out in a bad rash.
The Stationary Panic first came to my attention one time when a large but harmless snake slithered across a trail a couple of yards ahead of my wife. She made a high-pitched chittering sound and began jumping up and down and flailing the air with her arms. It was a most impressive performance, particularly since each jump was approximately a foot high and her backpack happened to be the one with the tent on it. The only adverse side effect to the Stationary Panic was that the lone witness to the spectacle could not help laughing every time he though about it, a reaction quickly remedied, however, by his sleeping most of the night outside the tent in a driving rainstorm.
Although I immediately perceived the advantage of this form of panic, I could not imagine myself bouncing up and down, flailing my arms and chittering like an angry squirrel, particularly in front of the rough company with whom I usually find myself in a predicament requiring a panic. Thus it came about that I invented the Modified Stationary Panic, or MSP.
The key to the MSP is not to bounce up and down in a monotonous fashion but to vary the steps so that it appears to be a sort of folk dance. You can make up your own steps but I highly recommend throwing in a couple of Russian squat kicks. The chittering sound should be replaced by an Austrian drinking song, shouted out at the top of your voice. The MSP is particularly appropriate for group panics. There are few sights so inspiring as a group of lost hunters, arms entwined, dancing and singing for all they are worth as night closes in upon them.

 

[Mikej]

McManus on getting lost in the woods:

...Although it will do absolutely no good, I must advise against undertaking a Full Bore Linear Panic unless, of course, one is equipped with a stout heart, a three-day supply of food, and a valid passport. Instead, I recommend the Stationary or Modified Panic. It offers the same therapeutic effect and subsides after a few minutes with none of the FBLP's adverse side-effects, such as making your life insurance company break out in a bad rash.
The Stationary Panic first came to my attention one time when a large but harmless snake slithered across a trail a couple of yards ahead of my wife. She made a high-pitched chittering sound and began jumping up and down and flailing the air with her arms. It was a most impressive performance, particularly since each jump was approximately a foot high and her backpack happened to be the one with the tent on it. The only adverse side effect to the Stationary Panic was that the lone witness to the spectacle could not help laughing every time he though about it, a reaction quickly remedied, however, by his sleeping most of the night outside the tent in a driving rainstorm.
Although I immediately perceived the advantage of this form of panic, I could not imagine myself bouncing up and down, flailing my arms and chittering like an angry squirrel, particularly in front of the rough company with whom I usually find myself in a predicament requiring a panic. Thus it came about that I invented the Modified Stationary Panic, or MSP.
The key to the MSP is not to bounce up and down in a monotonous fashion but to vary the steps so that it appears to be a sort of folk dance. You can make up your own steps but I highly recommend throwing in a couple of Russian squat kicks. The chittering sound should be replaced by an Austrian drinking song, shouted out at the top of your voice. The MSP is particularly appropriate for group panics. There are few sights so inspiring as a group of lost hunters, arms entwined, dancing and singing for all they are worth as night closes in upon them.

I used to have a few of that Dude's books! Good times!

 

[Loc]

I used to have a few of that Dude's books! Good times!

My bus driver would occasionally sub for any one of a number of teachers in middle school and would invariably read a chapter or two from a McManus book during class. Always looked forward to Mr. Farr subbing...

 

[parallax]

When in danger
When in doubt
Run in circles
Scream and shout

 

[arakboss]

The commies (or EV owners) did it again. Power is out once more. We'll see if this outage is as short as the last one.

 

[Duneblaster]

Shake it off.

 

[arakboss]

This outage lasted about 2.5hrs. Second outage in a couple of months. Not a good trend.

 

[clanhanson]

This outage lasted about 2.5hrs. Second outage in a couple of months. Not a good trend.

We lose power once every few weeks. We have a good stash of board games and nice candles as well as a wood stove. It's good family bonding time.

 

[Mikej]

Shake it off.

Always! Just remember, best to do it up/down when in a public restroom. And not too vigorously. For your own sake.

 

[monkeybutler]

Always! Just remember, best to do it up/down when in a public restroom. And not too vigorously. For your own sake.

Think he might be at the age where shaking alone isn't fully effective.

 

[trekkerpaul]

Those commies finally took down our grid. Wilsonville power is out. Right in the middle of a laundry load too. Now I have to use a battery powered white noise machine to sleep. Amazingly the yard guys blowers are still working.

Dont you have a creek behind your place for washing clothes?