Convincing the SO to carry

Discussion in 'Defensive Carry & Self Defense' started by Flymph, Jul 9, 2017.

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  1. Flymph

    Flymph
    Oregon
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    My GF and I are talking about something, like doing things around the town or something... whatever it is it leads to this conversation:
    I say "I'm going to get you that Kimber Saphire you wanted in .38 to carry with you when we go out, and so you can have it if you are ever out alone or with friends and I'm not there."
    She responds, "why would I ever need that?"
    I respond, "because some 'explicit person' may want to do harm to you and you should be able to protect yourself."
    She says "nobody would ever want to do that with all the other people out there to target, chances are it will never happen!"
    I say "sure, maybe, but ya never know!"

    Well she went out with friends to celebrate a birthday while I worked all night, and what does she tell me when I get home? Oh yeah, some crazy drunk tweaker chased her and her friends down Hawthorne after dinner... I'm smug about the fact she is safe and I think I just won my case. Unofficially she is taking a CC class soon.
     
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  2. v0lcom13sn0w

    v0lcom13sn0w
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    women i'll tell ya! :rolleyes:

    its sad to think that some people think nothing bad will happen to them until it does...


    my wife carried for a solid year but then i kept seeing her LCP custom on the dresser more often than not. i dont dare ask why cause i know i'll get an earful. ultimately its her decision to carry if she chooses to. she is pregnant and maybe its uncomfortable or it doesnt work with maternity pants/shorts? idk. i really hope she starts carrying again. atleast in her purse or something.
     
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  3. Flymph

    Flymph
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    Yeah, best not to poke the bear... especially a pregnant one. Learned that the hard way over these few years.

    It's a work in progress, I definitely want her more experienced in their operations before she carries. At least she's open to the idea now.
     
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  4. Stomper

    Stomper
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    Tell your women you'll buy them a new pair of shoes (of her choosing) if they start carrying, and I'll bet all resistance will vanish....


    ;)
     
  5. 308

    308
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    Unless she has a taste for Jimmy Choos from Nordstroms.
     
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  6. HuckleberryFun

    HuckleberryFun
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    The bedrock of American diplomacy for decades. Do what we want and we'll buy you stuff. Shoes are still cheaper than fighter jets, aren't they?
     
  7. Stomper

    Stomper
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    Wellllll...... by the sound of it, the "flipper covers" mentioned below may cost as much as a minty-new F15E Strike Eagle in full load-out!

    :D

     
  8. 308

    308
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    That's what I'm saying...mang
     
  9. Certaindeaf

    Certaindeaf
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    Some people just aren't cut out to carry and or handle guns.
    I used to know one girl that'd whirling dervish a golf club with her eyes closed and let it fly every time she tried to hit a ball.
    She was special.
     
  10. CHLChris

    CHLChris
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    I dress around my gun. I behave differently because I'm armed. I see everything through the eyes of: Which gun in this situation? What do I wear to fit that gun? Is this a permissive environment? This is all stuff that I do only because I believe in concealed carry with a passion!

    I have bought my wife everything she needs to carry in all sorts of different positions, with all sorts of outfits, and she has access to her own gun set up the way she likes it and access to all of my gear. Still, she only carries in a very few situations.

    You CANNOT convince your significant other to carry. It is a lifestyle choice that affects almost all facets of your life. One will carry if one believes in it...and even then, only if one is willing to make all of the trade-offs that are required.
     
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  11. Certaindeaf

    Certaindeaf
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    Legend has it that Bruce Jenner was considering carrying a concealed handgun and they cut his balls off.
     
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  12. v0lcom13sn0w

    v0lcom13sn0w
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    you may be right



    dont ask me how i know of this.
     
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  13. Joe13

    Joe13
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    Shouldn't carry unless your willing and able to pull the trigger when the time comes.


    Not a light choice to consider.

    There are preditors and prey - not a problem with either but you have to know what your SO is if your going to get her carrying.
     
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  14. etrain16

    etrain16
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    As much as I'd like to have my wife carry, she hasn't yet made the decision to do so, and I won't push her. She knows she is welcome to purchase any gun and carry rig she would like. But at this point, while she greatly appreciates that I carry (and sometimes likes to ask if I am, just for her own assurance), she just isn't ready yet.

    As @CHLChris noted, carrying everyday is a lifestyle choice, one that changes/alters decisions, from what you wear, to where you go, to how you act. If you don't have a passion or commitment to it, it may not be the best decision. When carrying, it's necessary to be aware of the fact that you are armed, and be vigilant that your gun is not only concealed, but fully in your control - and since many carry options for women are based on a purse or bag, it adds another layer of necessary vigilance to an often distracted day (espeicially with children around).

    The way my wife dresses, some carry options simply won't work. She's not open to bra carry, or ankle carry and a shoulder rig or waist holster simply aren't going to work. And I get concerned about using purses or other bags for carry because they are not always right next to you, and not always in your control. Kids can get into them, they can easily walk away, or you could find yourself 50 feet from it when you actually need it and can't get to it.

    I won't push her to carry, but will encourage her. I will do what I can to assist including putting her in touch with training tailored to women who carry. But she also needs to commit to that training and to practicing if she's going to carry. When she's ready, we'll make that happen. But because there are decisions and commitments that have to be made, it will have to come in her time, not mine.

    All that said, recent events are beginning to get her attention, and she may get to that place not so far down the road.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2017
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  15. rick benjamin

    rick benjamin
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    For 33 years my daughter was prey.
    Finally occurred to her there were predators in her neighborhood.
    Eye-opening experience, my know-it-all offspring waking up to reality.
    She took a ladies handgun class, Passed last week
     
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  16. Flymph

    Flymph
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    well, she is getting used to the idea and starting to see it's usefulness for herself when I am not there. We are not often apart, but she understands I will not always be there. I think she also sees that things are more likely to go wrong when I am not there. She definitely needs more experience using a gun before she starts carrying, but now she is opening up to the idea of it. I didn't say she was going to start tomorrow, but at least the seed has been planted.
     
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  17. CoastRange57

    CoastRange57
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    Not really a deadly force situation in itself, unless the tweaker was going to do bodily harm. A gun in that situation with somebody not experienced in threat assessment and analysis and deadly force ROE could lead to more problems than it would prevent.
     
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  18. nwslopoke

    nwslopoke
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    The last gun show I went to I saw a woman I work with. She was talking to a vender at the time and since we've never had a conversation at work I never approached her. But an actual coworker and his whole family are taking pistol class and purchasing firearms very soon per his wife's request.

    While my wife would never be able to present a firearm in a bad situation she has admitted to feeling better with me having mine.
     
  19. CHLChris

    CHLChris
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    I will say that I keep the topic on the table by asking her as we leave the house, "Are you carrying?" I make her aware of the times I change clothes or make certain clothing decisions based around the gun in choosing.

    The point is that I want her to become aware of what goes into the lifestyle choice. Someday she'll choose on her very own.
     
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  20. Alexx1401

    Alexx1401
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    Sadly often it’s hard to convince people until after something “happens”. Luckily this one ended well for her. First Wife did not want to carry. State had no CC law. Was misdemeanor to get “caught”. Since this was before the net I took to saving clipping from the local papers. Every attack on a woman that was not “I left some bar with some guy I just met”. After a while I had a pile of them. Dropped them on the table one day and said read these. She took to always having a gun with her.
     

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