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Ok, it seems pretty clear you guys don't know how to deal with security checks...
Get one of those cargo carry bags that goes on top of the car, and fill it with inflatable pool toys, but have the rest of the car empty (or at least appearing empty) when you go up and they start questioning you, let them get side tracked with the pool toys, because it won't make any sense to them, and also isn't illegal. They will freak out and carefully examine each and every one. They will completely ignore almost everything else.
I had a cop freak out about ammo cans full of apples. He took some of the apples, but I was smuggling the ammo cans.
If I had the time and money, I'd love to fill the bed of an old beater pickup truck with .50 cal ammo cans full of stuffed animals and go through border security.