Relationships

[USAF Medic]

Most couples love one another. Being close friends is where couples fall short. Go camping, fishing, shooting. Attend pro sporting events together. I am sure she has some ideas for activities to do together also. Talk to her..simple enough. Don't make a big deal out of it, no drama... Think of her as the new, single chick that just moved in next door. You are single too. Think of her as someone you would like to hang out with, not a potential sex . Partner.
Become friends, and the rest will fall in toplace.

 

[Burt Gummer]

No, you never call out an individual, but you do throw the names at anyone who disagrees with you. You have opinions. You may think they are based in fact, but here, there are plenty of lives that are better because of their relationships with other people, especially their married relationships. That is a fact. The men who choose to be in them are not morons, just people who do not see it your way. If you don't see it as name calling, fine. It is disrespectful.

NW, you are doing too much 'tuning' of the situation to make a point. I said "most men are morons." I didn't say "most men who seek a long term relationship or marriage are morons or NWbobber (LOL)." Is your wife looking over your shoulder as you type? Hahaha.

But please, come on, men are dimwits when it comes to women. Women hold all the cards, reap any benefits, have all the power and men in our society have been lowered into being 'just lucky enough to find one.' As Elvis said:

Well a hard headed woman,
a soft hearted man
been the cause of trouble
ever since the world began.
Oh yeah, ever since the world began
a hard headed woman been
a thorn in the side of man.

Now Adam told to Eve,
"Listen here to me,
don't you let me catch you
messin' round that apple tree."
Oh yeah, ever since the world began
a hard headed woman been
a thorn in the side of man.

Now Samson told Delilah
loud and clear,
"Keep your cotton pickin' fingers
out my curly hair."
Oh yeah, ever since the world began
a hard headed woman been
a thorn in the side of man.

I heard about a king
who was doin' swell
till he started playing
with that evil Jezebel.
Oh yeah, ever since the world began
a hard headed woman been a thorn in the side of man.

I got a woman,
a head like a rock.
If she ever went away
I'd cry around the clock.
Oh yeah, ever since the world began
a hard headed woman been
a thorn in the side of man.



Yes, there are older people on here that have been married for 25-30 years and appear happy. That is great for them. What I was talking about is the here and now and that it is MY OPINION that men who are desperate to be married are foolish.

Single is better IF you are happy being single. I don't see how anyone could possible argue against that at all. Married people often feel compelled to spread their misery to single people; here - join us!! Get Married! It is great! Hurry!

 

[The Courier]

As long as she doesn't ask me to get rid of my firearms or stop playing Battle Field 3 I will do anything for that special someone, It seems relationships are a hit or miss scenario. If your spouse has certain aspects that piss u off expect that to never change you'll have to adapt to a certain degree.

 

[nwbobber]

Well I will agree with that Burt. I have known many men (and women) who just HAD to be in a relationship. That rarely works. When you meet the right person there is no question what is going to happen, you don;t have to make it happen.

 

[The Courier]

Also I must agree with Burt. If your happy being single more power to you! It's nice to be able to do what you want when you want without having to deal with any extra baggage.

 

[Redcap]

I feel sorry for the guys afraid of being single. The autonomy alone is worth it.


Myself, well...I'm sort of single. Definitely autonomous. The ol' lady is currently deployed. I don't care who she has sex with during deployment, she doesn't care who I have sex with; we talked about it at length. When she comes back, I am a monogamous creature. And if she moves on...well, I never have difficulty replacing the previous model with an upgrade.

 

[Don H]

there are plenty of lives that are better because of their relationships with other people, especially their married relationships. That is a fact.

The fact is, more and more relationships do end in divorce. Could this be because a lot of people get into bad relationships and get married anyway? In the 26 years my wife (still happily married) and I have been together we do not have a single friend that is still with the same partner. Good relationships are the minority and it requires hard work. However, if you are miserable and can't work it out, move on! Why live an unhappy life? Cut your losses and move on (and don't get married again!)

 

[nwbobber]

The cut your losses and move on statement is appropriate in some cases, but the OP seems to be inclined to go the hard work route. Are we here to help? Or communicate our own priorities? I don't know of many happy marriages that don't include the hard work part. I believe that is part of the reason for the increase in the divorce rate. Women have better jobs these days, and are far more able to support themselves, making it far easier to cut and run. If men want to do the same, they don't have to feel as if they abandoned their spouse and left her high and dry.
I know a lot of divorced people who don't look back on the marriage as a total loss, and even carry on friendly relationships with their ex's. A divorce doesn't always point to misery, or failure, just a choice.

 

[Burt Gummer]

BTW, us single people actually prefer the term unmarried.

"Single" implies a void that does not exist.

 

[Redcap]

BTW, us single people actually prefer the term unmarried.

"Single" implies a void that does not exist.

I prefer "marauder".

 

[Brutus57]

Here's my 2 cents.... A relationship, like marksmanship... requires dedication and effort, sure you might be a pretty good shooter right out of the box but to get the best out of anything in life it takes effort. My wife is a wonderful, talented gal, does she and I drive each other a little crazy once and awhile yes, but we are friends, enjoy many things together and some things apart. It works and works well because when we hit a bump we communicate and work through it. My ex thought every thing was always my fault. I'll cop to what was but that woman blamed me for actions she took... sorry, those were her choices not mine. If you love/like/ enjoy the company of your mate understand men and women are very different, and starting with that in mind find out what sort of relationship SHE wants and what sort YOU want and hammer it out. Only you two can make an informed decision. As for other bitter dudes or chicks, well their mileage may vary. This is what works and is still working today. Despite great job and financial stress. A relationship is a choice just like love.

Brutus Out