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Relationships

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by lazerblazer, Aug 5, 2013.

  1. lazerblazer

    lazerblazer Portland Active Member

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    Times have been tough lately on my homefront, so I have been devoting some time to reset the foundation for love. Through my research i have found out about "IMAGO Relationship Therapy", has anyone heard of this type of therapy or had any experience. The Dr. who created the program has a book out by the name of "Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples" which is the basis of this therapy. I inted on going to Powells tomorrow and picking it up to give us more resources to work through these trying times. This past week has been a true test of my resolve, and I feel so far I am putting my best foot forward but want to give myself all the ammunition to succeed. If anyone has any advice, words of encouagement, or know of any great realtionship therapist in Portland please let me know.

    -LazerBlazeR
     
  2. Kruejl

    Kruejl Hillsboro Moderator of the Coriolis effect Staff Member Gold Supporter Silver Supporter

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    Is she your best friend? Do you miss her within hours of being at work? I am no expert, but I'm 39, been married once before and somewhat recently found my "soul mate". Relationships are tough and to succeed require a lot of give and take. But imagine a day or a week without her and go with your gut. If you prefer her gone and hanging out with your buddies, its over.

    To be clear, are you faithful? Any info left out of your OP?
     
  3. Burt Gummer

    Burt Gummer Portland Completely Out of Ammo

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    :pound:

    Sounds like some female empowerment Oprah nonsense. You will just have to neuter yourself and get on one knee, but I am sure she is worth it. Or you can choose to be a man and set limitations to the BS and prepare to move on. One thing is for sure, if you care more about the relationship than she does, you are already doomed. She is already searching for the next monkey branch. When she finds the next branch - ie a MAN who puts up with no crap - she will gleefully swing on with her life.
     
    pokerace, bcdon, 4Freedom and 9 others like this.
  4. billdeserthills

    billdeserthills Cave Creek, Arizony Well-Known Member

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    I gave up on that years ago,
    I grew tired of the hurting, which went both ways.
    Just don't need it, not for a lil' bit of sex.
     
    Caveman Jim and (deleted member) like this.
  5. OLDNEWBIE

    OLDNEWBIE State of Flux Well-Known Member

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    If no kids are involved get out while you can.
     
  6. Kid@Heart

    Kid@Heart Vancouver, USA Cynic Lifetime Supporter Diamond Supporter

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    Surrender
     
  7. Redcap

    Redcap Lewis County, WA Well-Known Member

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    Drop and hook.
     
  8. duginsky

    duginsky Tualatin Active Member

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    How does this end up on a firearms forum? Last place to seek advice for a healthy relationship. Talk to some physically present and trusted friends instead of an imaginary community. If this poses a challenge, reconsider a mature relationship.
     
  9. Redcap

    Redcap Lewis County, WA Well-Known Member

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    Considering this post is in the Off-Topic forum, seems like the right place. Derp derp derp.
     
  10. duginsky

    duginsky Tualatin Active Member

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    I'm heading over to the Heartache 101 forum and asking about 9mm 147 gr hollow-point ballistics, then! Redcap, you're letting your sensitive side shine on, bless your heart!
     
  11. RVTECH

    RVTECH LaPine Well-Known Member

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    Some good points were brought up here with Burt's probably being the most acute
    Putting this another way are you both in this relationship equally or does one of you feel like you are in it 'alone'?
     
    bcdon and (deleted member) like this.
  12. Redcap

    Redcap Lewis County, WA Well-Known Member

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    Oh jesus...I shot Coke out of my nose at that!

    Well played, sir. Well played.
     
  13. teflon97239

    teflon97239 Portland, OR Well-Known Member

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    However it goes, treat her with the same respect you would appreciate from others. Then you don't have to second-guess yourself later for stuff you can't take back.

    Last time I checked, this gun forum has an OFF-TOPIC section where you can post whatever the hell you want to.

    Good luck in achieving what you both want.
     
  14. Kimber Custom

    Kimber Custom Vancouver, WA Bronze Vendor Bronze Vendor

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    I respectfully disagree with most of the opinions posted so far.

    Marriage is hard and requires a great deal of sacrifice. A 'loveless' relationship can be salvaged even if only one person is committed. No issues are insurmountable.

    The first question you have to ask yourself is: is divorce an option. If the answer is yes then go ahead and get it over with. That is the simpler route and better to start now and begin the healing process.

    If it is not: then it's time to roll up your sleeves and start looking at what you are going to do instead. The only person you can change is you. Period, end of story. What are *you* going to do to make it better? Are you going to court her like you did when you were 'in-love'? Are you going to make the hard choices to treat her with respect and love? Are you going to win her back?

    Before some of these divorced/single guys jump on me about being a doormat that doesn't mean you don't set good boundaries for what is a healthy relationship but it is far from over if you are willing to put in the hard work. I sent you a PM and would be happy to share my experience with you.
     
  15. Redcap

    Redcap Lewis County, WA Well-Known Member

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    Marriage: betting someone half your sh!t that they won't take half your sh!t.
     
  16. drew

    drew OR Well-Known Member

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    That's what prenuptial agreements are designed to prevent. People want to believe marriage is truly romantic but it is a legally binding contract. Always look out for Number 1. That person who "loves" you may or may not care about your interests today or at some point in the future.

    Granted, if you start talking prenup it will chase of a lot of gold diggers.
     
  17. RVTECH

    RVTECH LaPine Well-Known Member

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    Suggesting divorce is an 'option' is saying it is negotiable, and that it is being considered equally by both parties and can possibly be averted by an agreement, much like a business. While this may be true in very few cases most of the time one or the other (and usually the wife) is the one filing proactively and has no intent of reconciling the marriage. Most relationships are over long before the divorce and this further complicates any attempt at reconciliation.
     
    Caveman Jim and (deleted member) like this.
  18. Velzey

    Velzey Estacada, Oregon Gunsmith Gunsmith Bronze Vendor Bronze Supporter

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    I would not ask anyone on this forum anything about personal life. Seriously

    There is 5 or 6 pages of these forum members bickering about "bigfoot", jesus, military service, and something about boondocks.... And not Veritas Aequitas type! :laugh:
     
    gallogiro and (deleted member) like this.
  19. RVTECH

    RVTECH LaPine Well-Known Member

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    Blame me - I opened my big 'keyboard' about online dating.
     
  20. Velzey

    Velzey Estacada, Oregon Gunsmith Gunsmith Bronze Vendor Bronze Supporter

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    :laugh: Wait I forgot to mention flip flops also! Which I am wearing right now!