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DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by fredball, Nov 12, 2013.

  1. fredball

    fredball Vancouver, WA Well-Known Member

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    DIVORCE AGREEMENT--
    WRITTEN BY YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT
    The person who wrote this is a college (law) student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.

    DIVORCE AGREEMENT

    THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together
    since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
    Here is a our separation agreement:
    --Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
    --We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
    --You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
    --Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
    --We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.
    --You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
    --We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
    --You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
    --We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
    --We'll keep Bill O
    'Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
    --You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
    --You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
    --We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
    --You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
    --We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Lea f you can find.
    --You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
    --We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
    --I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
    --We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
    --Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
    Sincerely,
    John J. Wall
    Law Student and an American
    P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &
    ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.
    P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.





















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  2. BigStick

    BigStick Sherwood, OR Well-Known Member

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    Sums up the differences quite nicely.
     
  3. rick benjamin

    rick benjamin USA, Or, Damascus Secure the drama Silver Supporter 2016 Volunteer

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    John J Wall churned up the libs!
     
  4. U201491

    U201491 Well-Known Member

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    :thumbup:
     
  5. xymotic

    xymotic Washington New Member

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    Enjoy all the debt and lack of industry in the flyover states. California won't miss you.
     
    MikeE and (deleted member) like this.
  6. Blitzkrieg

    Blitzkrieg WA Well-Known Member

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    As long as we get the West!!!!! California is is a gem, not to be lost.. eject all who need ejecting.. Eastwards

    One more thing, I have Christian values, not "judeo" values, adding the two is an oxymoron, as Christ Himself said in John 8
     
  7. xymotic

    xymotic Washington New Member

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    \

    Well I guess it's a good thing the Mormons can't dictate how you live. Or the Catholics, Or the Wesboro Baptists, or the Cristian Scientists.

    They might not appreciate your values
     
  8. Blitzkrieg

    Blitzkrieg WA Well-Known Member

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    I get along fine with all of them, as long as they respect my right to my faith. One of my team is a mormon, and a good friend
     
  9. simon99

    simon99 Central Oregon Well-Known Member

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    I would be on board with that proposal in no time. Any bets on how quick the "left nation" would collapse? What would the entitlement crowd do without the welfare checks all the hardworking Americans provide for them?
     
  10. coastal steelheader

    coastal steelheader Aberdeen Well-Known Member

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    Sounds good but there is one little problem

    In the custody agreement all of us "kids" will be living with the lefty airheaded mother and her revolving door, chronically unemployed boyfriends since we live in the PACNW.
     
  11. Guilty

    Guilty Salem, Oregon Active Member

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    Count me in on the divorce. Where do I sign up and when can I expect the bleeding hearts to vacate?
     
  12. simon99

    simon99 Central Oregon Well-Known Member

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    If I had to move to another state, just to be part of a program like this I would. No problem.
     
  13. coastal steelheader

    coastal steelheader Aberdeen Well-Known Member

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    I'd go too but would miss the coast and the peninsula like crazy.
     
  14. xymotic

    xymotic Washington New Member

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    The other 'problem' is that the coasts give more than they take, and the 'freedom loving red states" are all leeching off of the coasts. Inconvenient fact, but true. The only way this argument works is if California has to pay Kansas alimony.

    You know why divorce is expensive? Cus it's worth it.
     
    MikeE and (deleted member) like this.
  15. simon99

    simon99 Central Oregon Well-Known Member

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    I grew up in Ballard, so I know what you mean. I now live in Central Oregon. You get used to it, but we make several trips up to Seattle and to the coast every year. I will say, that its nice to live in a much more conservative area. The weathers nice, and the people are really friendly.
     
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  16. Navman

    Navman Canby Oregon Active Member

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    Can I leave out constantly interupting, talking over quests Bill O'Reilly?
     
  17. Provincial

    Provincial Near Salem, OR Well-Known Member

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    No problem. Within a few years the Left Coast "blue" areas would collapse and you could move back into prime real estate for a song. And bring good government with you! ;)
     
  18. Kevinkris

    Kevinkris Aloha Well-Known Member

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    actually its a terrible piece of writing, i dont see how any of that makes any sense.
     
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  19. BigStick

    BigStick Sherwood, OR Well-Known Member

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    How exactly is it a "terrible piece of writing"? You need to be a little more specific with your own writing when criticizing another's. Are you saying his writing skills are poor, or that you dissagree with his message or assessment, and why? Right now you just sound like a chastized child that says "nuh-uh, you're stupid" when he can't come up with a better counter-argument.
     
    308 and (deleted member) like this.
  20. Blitzkrieg

    Blitzkrieg WA Well-Known Member

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    From wikipedia (the solution to undesirables in the New West States)

    Deportation is the expulsion of a person or group of people from a place or country.[1] Today the expulsion of foreign nationals is usually called deportation, whereas the expulsion of nationals is called banishment, exile, or penal transportation.[2] Deportation is an ancient practice: Khosrau I, Sassanid King of Persia, deported 292,000 citizens, slaves, and conquered people to the new city of Ctesiphon in 542 C.E.[3] Britain deported religious objectors and criminals to America in large numbers before 1776,[4] and transported them to Australia between 1788 and 1868.[