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time for a divorce

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by oknow, Jul 23, 2011.

  1. oknow

    oknow amboy wa. Well-Known Member

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    Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and
    coffee to $2.00 per pound maybe this would be a solution we could live with.
    DIVORCE AGREEMENT -- This is so incredibly well-put, and I can hardly believe it's by a young person, a student!! A law student yet.
    * * * * * * * * * *
    Dear American liberals, leftists, social
    progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.:
    We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the
    kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree
    on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement:

    1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can
    effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.

    2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

    3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

    4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops,
    the NRA, and the military.

    5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with
    wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

    6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

    7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
    companies, WalMart, and Wall Street.

    8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

    9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms,and rednecks, you cankeep the bailout ceo's, wallstreet manipulators, and check cashing outlet theives.

    10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..

    11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the
    right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

    12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

    13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

    14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political
    correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

    15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and sensible cars.
    You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

    16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
    doctors.
    17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

    18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

    19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to
    Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

    20. We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

    21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name
    and our flag.

    22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
    like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

    John J. Wall

    Law Student and an American

    P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra Steisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

    P.S.S.: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.

    Forward this every time you get it! Let's keep this going; maybe some of it will start sinking in!

    If you can't stand behind our Military, Please feel free to stand in
    front of them
     
  2. Trlsmn

    Trlsmn In Utero (Portland) Well-Known Member

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    There are a lot of people on your keeper list that I'd leave out of my list and there are a lot of people not on your discard list that I would include. Specifically I want ever last Democrat and Republican politician now in office or who has once served in office on the exclusion list.
     
    saabin, Will_Power, iusmc2002 and 3 others like this.
  3. MikeE

    MikeE Portland Well-Known Member

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    Here's a few additions from the liberal side:
    We keep the scientists, you keep the snake handlers and faith healers.
    We keep Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. You keep Rev. Ted Haggard
     
  4. Trlsmn

    Trlsmn In Utero (Portland) Well-Known Member

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    How about Davis Wu, which list are you going to put him on MikeE?
     
  5. Ben Beckerich

    Ben Beckerich NW Oregon Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    who is "you" and "us?" 'cause im not too keen on most of the "us" lines anymore than the "you"s
     
  6. MikeE

    MikeE Portland Well-Known Member

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    Good question...
     
  7. elsullo

    elsullo Portland Oregon New Member

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    Yeah, but all of the Wall Street bankers are Republicans, they should go with the "conservatives" All of the welfare fraud due to unfunded verification and investigation is just peanuts compared with what those Republicans stole...........................elsullo
     
  8. elsullo

    elsullo Portland Oregon New Member

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    You Righties try to claim the Bible all for yourselves? But you tend to exclude the Gospels, you know, the actual WORDS of Jesus speaking plainly as to what HE wants. You specifically seem averse to the "Sermon on the Mount" We Lefties will be honored to keep that part..........................elsullo
     
  9. Ben Beckerich

    Ben Beckerich NW Oregon Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    i guess most republicans would be shocked to discover that those Americans with the love for liberty, the heart and the balls to actually execute any kind of "division" in this country would toss them right in with the democrats they, for some reason, think they're so different from.

    'cause way out here on the right, all that crap in the middle looks exactly the same to me.
     
  10. Tangent123123

    Tangent123123 Battle Ground Active Member

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    They can take all the politicians.. No matter what side of the fence they are on, they are crooks. So tired of us vs them two party system where at the end of the day you have to flip a coin to see who the bigger thief is.
     
    Ben Beckerich, Redcap, saabin and 7 others like this.
  11. swoop

    swoop Milwaukie, Oregon Well-Known Member

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    That's fair enough as long as you keep Rev. Wright, Jackson, and Sharpton. :)
     
  12. MrNiceGuy

    MrNiceGuy between springfield and shelbyville Well-Known Member

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    You can have my subaru when you pry it from my cold dead hands.
     
  13. Swedish K

    Swedish K SW Washington Moderator Staff Member

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    So are you saying herpetologists aren't scientists? and are you dictating to all of the groups which side they have to be on? If so, so much for freedom of choice...
     
  14. Trlsmn

    Trlsmn In Utero (Portland) Well-Known Member

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    I do believe my question has been ignored.
     
  15. MikeE

    MikeE Portland Well-Known Member

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    Got me there..
     
  16. MikeE

    MikeE Portland Well-Known Member

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    Sorry. Yes 'we' would have to take the odious Mr Wu, and 'you' would be stuck with the vile Newt Gingrich.
     
  17. Trlsmn

    Trlsmn In Utero (Portland) Well-Known Member

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    So you still support Wu? really?
     
  18. MikeE

    MikeE Portland Well-Known Member

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    Not at all. Just goin with the joke.
     
  19. dolooper

    dolooper Coast Range, or thereabouts Well-Known Member

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    Liberal weighing in here. Conservatives get that freakish Baldwin brother. Both of 'em, actually. Carrot Top, too. I don't know where he stands politically, but I got no use for him.
     
  20. mjbskwim

    mjbskwim Salmon,Idaho Well-Known Member

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    If you don't have both sides working against each other,the will,most definitely, work against us more

    WE need the two parties