In a joint venture between Apple and Google, I'm part of a beta test for the new interactive rectal device, the iPoo. The iPoo allows Apple to tell me when it's time to go with alerts right on my phone (no more waiting for those irritating 'urges') and Google will live stream using a retractable POV camera on my new iPoo YouTube channel. Siri will consult with Alexa, via Amazon, as to whether I need to order fiber supplents based on their analysis of the deuce. Should be a great opportunity to generate some revenue.
Later I'm also signed up as a beta tester for the iRandy, though that's probably going to be a little hard.
In all seriousness!