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This is a sincere thread, not a political one. Please don't make it about politics. Moderators, if you feel it's headed in a wrong direction and should be moved to another un-named part of the forum, please do so.
My father passed away last week. It was a tough week, as any of you all who have lost parents or other close loved ones know all too well. He was a good man, honest and ethical. I respected him and don't think I could ever fill his shoes.
The reason I post about this is because of an incident at the funeral. My father was a old-school, Midwest farmer and a staunch conservative. He had also traveled the world when he was young, and he was very intelligent and principled. He knew a lot of people and had a lot of friends. He had spent some time in the last couple years in a big city hospital, and had made friends with several hospital staff there. At his service there was over a hundred people, and among them several African-American families that knew and cared enough for him to drive several hours out into Midwest corn country to say their goodbys. One of the families were recent immigrants from Africa- wonderful people that my dad had made friends with; I wish I'd had time to get to know them better. Otherwise the church was filled with extended family, and friends and neighbors from the area. It was probably quite uncommon to see that many black faces in one place in that tiny rural Midwestern church, in that tiny, rural, Midwestern town. These were his friends, and I loved that they were there.
The disturbing thing was later at the graveside, when someone told my sister that she'd overheard another person ask one of their black friends, "What are all you ni**ers doing here?"
She went to the friend who was asked that, and he downplayed it, didn't even want to tell her who it was that had asked it. He said he heard stuff like that all the time and it didn't bother him, and he didn't want to make a fuss at a funeral. She got him to point out the culprit, and it was a decades-long friend and neighboring farmer. She apologized profusely to her friends, but didn't go any further at the time, under the circumstances. I was furious when I heard about it. It was incredibly rude to my father's friends, and disrespectful to my Dads memory, and at a funeral?!! When she's able to compost herself, my sister will contact the neighbor and confront him about it. Knowing her, I wouldn't want to be him.
Living most of my life in the PNW, I've seen very, very few instances of overt racism. I think it's a common feeling among white people that it hardly even exists anymore. I've heard it said that one of the problems with race is that while black people often have a tendency to see racism even when it's not there, white people have a tendency to not see it when it is. I want to be able to at least try to see things from another person's perspective. I know it's naive to think that there's any kind of easy fix to racial problem, but all the political hate and anguish isn't doing anyone any good, on any sides. I don't have any solutions; just personal meandering thoughts on the subject.
Anyhow, race relations are a big deal in the news right now, and it seems like it's always a fight instead of a rational discussion. Personally I believe that racial problems are all about culture, not the amount of pigment in your skin. Skin tone is simply a cultural identifier, and cultural differences are what people squabble about. My dad was from a very different culture than his black friends, but a shared faith and love of family overcame that. My dad saw and cared about people as human beings, regardless of culture or skin tone. I'm proud that he had such a diverse group of people who loved him enough to travel so far to his service. If a grouchy old right-wing Midwestern farmer can accomplish that, it would seem that most anyone can.
Please excuse my emotional rambling. It's been a rough week. Please, please everyone- don't make this about politics. That's not my purpose in this thread.
My father passed away last week. It was a tough week, as any of you all who have lost parents or other close loved ones know all too well. He was a good man, honest and ethical. I respected him and don't think I could ever fill his shoes.
The reason I post about this is because of an incident at the funeral. My father was a old-school, Midwest farmer and a staunch conservative. He had also traveled the world when he was young, and he was very intelligent and principled. He knew a lot of people and had a lot of friends. He had spent some time in the last couple years in a big city hospital, and had made friends with several hospital staff there. At his service there was over a hundred people, and among them several African-American families that knew and cared enough for him to drive several hours out into Midwest corn country to say their goodbys. One of the families were recent immigrants from Africa- wonderful people that my dad had made friends with; I wish I'd had time to get to know them better. Otherwise the church was filled with extended family, and friends and neighbors from the area. It was probably quite uncommon to see that many black faces in one place in that tiny rural Midwestern church, in that tiny, rural, Midwestern town. These were his friends, and I loved that they were there.
The disturbing thing was later at the graveside, when someone told my sister that she'd overheard another person ask one of their black friends, "What are all you ni**ers doing here?"
She went to the friend who was asked that, and he downplayed it, didn't even want to tell her who it was that had asked it. He said he heard stuff like that all the time and it didn't bother him, and he didn't want to make a fuss at a funeral. She got him to point out the culprit, and it was a decades-long friend and neighboring farmer. She apologized profusely to her friends, but didn't go any further at the time, under the circumstances. I was furious when I heard about it. It was incredibly rude to my father's friends, and disrespectful to my Dads memory, and at a funeral?!! When she's able to compost herself, my sister will contact the neighbor and confront him about it. Knowing her, I wouldn't want to be him.
Living most of my life in the PNW, I've seen very, very few instances of overt racism. I think it's a common feeling among white people that it hardly even exists anymore. I've heard it said that one of the problems with race is that while black people often have a tendency to see racism even when it's not there, white people have a tendency to not see it when it is. I want to be able to at least try to see things from another person's perspective. I know it's naive to think that there's any kind of easy fix to racial problem, but all the political hate and anguish isn't doing anyone any good, on any sides. I don't have any solutions; just personal meandering thoughts on the subject.
Anyhow, race relations are a big deal in the news right now, and it seems like it's always a fight instead of a rational discussion. Personally I believe that racial problems are all about culture, not the amount of pigment in your skin. Skin tone is simply a cultural identifier, and cultural differences are what people squabble about. My dad was from a very different culture than his black friends, but a shared faith and love of family overcame that. My dad saw and cared about people as human beings, regardless of culture or skin tone. I'm proud that he had such a diverse group of people who loved him enough to travel so far to his service. If a grouchy old right-wing Midwestern farmer can accomplish that, it would seem that most anyone can.
Please excuse my emotional rambling. It's been a rough week. Please, please everyone- don't make this about politics. That's not my purpose in this thread.