Thoughts on race

[made in china]

as far as I am concerned, "racism" is a form of prejudice. and prejudice takes many other terrible forms also.
and humans wake up every day looking for new ways to be jerks to each other.
this racism thing has been getting way too much attention.
how many people have not "got the girl" for not having straight enough teeth? or being too ugly?
how many qualified people have not "got the job", despite great qualifications, due to their personality? or appearance?
so many people suffer from all kinds of discrimination/prejudice, and many unfairly suffer from being falsely accused of being "racist" by zealous activists, and they aren't allowed to be heard for their experiences, because that's not the "narrative" yet in 2020.

 

[Firemansim]

This is a sincere thread, not a political one. Please don't make it about politics. Moderators, if you feel it's headed in a wrong direction and should be moved to another un-named part of the forum, please do so.

My father passed away last week. It was a tough week, as any of you all who have lost parents or other close loved ones know all too well. He was a good man, honest and ethical. I respected him and don't think I could ever fill his shoes.

The reason I post about this is because of an incident at the funeral. My father was a old-school, Midwest farmer and a staunch conservative. He had also traveled the world when he was young, and he was very intelligent and principled. He knew a lot of people and had a lot of friends. He had spent some time in the last couple years in a big city hospital, and had made friends with several hospital staff there. At his service there was over a hundred people, and among them several African-American families that knew and cared enough for him to drive several hours out into Midwest corn country to say their goodbys. One of the families were recent immigrants from Africa- wonderful people that my dad had made friends with; I wish I'd had time to get to know them better. Otherwise the church was filled with extended family, and friends and neighbors from the area. It was probably quite uncommon to see that many black faces in one place in that tiny rural Midwestern church, in that tiny, rural, Midwestern town. These were his friends, and I loved that they were there.

The disturbing thing was later at the graveside, when someone told my sister that she'd overheard another person ask one of their black friends, "What are all you ni**ers doing here?"

She went to the friend who was asked that, and he downplayed it, didn't even want to tell her who it was that had asked it. He said he heard stuff like that all the time and it didn't bother him, and he didn't want to make a fuss at a funeral. She got him to point out the culprit, and it was a decades-long friend and neighboring farmer. She apologized profusely to her friends, but didn't go any further at the time, under the circumstances. I was furious when I heard about it. It was incredibly rude to my father's friends, and disrespectful to my Dads memory, and at a funeral?!! When she's able to compost herself, my sister will contact the neighbor and confront him about it. Knowing her, I wouldn't want to be him.

Living most of my life in the PNW, I've seen very, very few instances of overt racism. I think it's a common feeling among white people that it hardly even exists anymore. I've heard it said that one of the problems with race is that while black people often have a tendency to see racism even when it's not there, white people have a tendency to not see it when it is. I want to be able to at least try to see things from another person's perspective. I know it's naive to think that there's any kind of easy fix to racial problem, but all the political hate and anguish isn't doing anyone any good, on any sides. I don't have any solutions; just personal meandering thoughts on the subject.

Anyhow, race relations are a big deal in the news right now, and it seems like it's always a fight instead of a rational discussion. Personally I believe that racial problems are all about culture, not the amount of pigment in your skin. Skin tone is simply a cultural identifier, and cultural differences are what people squabble about. My dad was from a very different culture than his black friends, but a shared faith and love of family overcame that. My dad saw and cared about people as human beings, regardless of culture or skin tone. I'm proud that he had such a diverse group of people who loved him enough to travel so far to his service. If a grouchy old right-wing Midwestern farmer can accomplish that, it would seem that most anyone can.

Please excuse my emotional rambling. It's been a rough week. Please, please everyone- don't make this about politics. That's not my purpose in this thread.

 

[MarshalChillN]

Sorry for your loss

 

[Lazyfaire]

This is a sincere thread, not a political one. Please don't make it about politics. Moderators, if you feel it's headed in a wrong direction and should be moved to another un-named part of the forum, please do so.

My father passed away last week. It was a tough week, as any of you all who have lost parents or other close loved ones know all too well. He was a good man, honest and ethical. I respected him and don't think I could ever fill his shoes.

The reason I post about this is because of an incident at the funeral. My father was a old-school, Midwest farmer and a staunch conservative. He had also traveled the world when he was young, and he was very intelligent and principled. He knew a lot of people and had a lot of friends. He had spent some time in the last couple years in a big city hospital, and had made friends with several hospital staff there. At his service there was over a hundred people, and among them several African-American families that knew and cared enough for him to drive several hours out into Midwest corn country to say their goodbys. One of the families were recent immigrants from Africa- wonderful people that my dad had made friends with; I wish I'd had time to get to know them better. Otherwise the church was filled with extended family, and friends and neighbors from the area. It was probably quite uncommon to see that many black faces in one place in that tiny rural Midwestern church, in that tiny, rural, Midwestern town. These were his friends, and I loved that they were there.

The disturbing thing was later at the graveside, when someone told my sister that she'd overheard another person ask one of their black friends, "What are all you ni**ers doing here?"

She went to the friend who was asked that, and he downplayed it, didn't even want to tell her who it was that had asked it. He said he heard stuff like that all the time and it didn't bother him, and he didn't want to make a fuss at a funeral. She got him to point out the culprit, and it was a decades-long friend and neighboring farmer. She apologized profusely to her friends, but didn't go any further at the time, under the circumstances. I was furious when I heard about it. It was incredibly rude to my father's friends, and disrespectful to my Dads memory, and at a funeral?!! When she's able to compost herself, my sister will contact the neighbor and confront him about it. Knowing her, I wouldn't want to be him.

Living most of my life in the PNW, I've seen very, very few instances of overt racism. I think it's a common feeling among white people that it hardly even exists anymore. I've heard it said that one of the problems with race is that while black people often have a tendency to see racism even when it's not there, white people have a tendency to not see it when it is. I want to be able to at least try to see things from another person's perspective. I know it's naive to think that there's any kind of easy fix to racial problem, but all the political hate and anguish isn't doing anyone any good, on any sides. I don't have any solutions; just personal meandering thoughts on the subject.

Anyhow, race relations are a big deal in the news right now, and it seems like it's always a fight instead of a rational discussion. Personally I believe that racial problems are all about culture, not the amount of pigment in your skin. Skin tone is simply a cultural identifier, and cultural differences are what people squabble about. My dad was from a very different culture than his black friends, but a shared faith and love of family overcame that. My dad saw and cared about people as human beings, regardless of culture or skin tone. I'm proud that he had such a diverse group of people who loved him enough to travel so far to his service. If a grouchy old right-wing Midwestern farmer can accomplish that, it would seem that most anyone can.

Please excuse my emotional rambling. It's been a rough week. Please, please everyone- don't make this about politics. That's not my purpose in this thread.

I am very sorry to hear of your father's passing. He sounds like he was a very good man. My father passed 15 years ago, so I can relate. But it sounds like you have already filled his shoes. You sound much like the man your father was. Fathers and sons often have difficult relationships but often end up much alike. Wait a couple of months and then look back and see if you are at peace with his passing. I'll bet you will. You'll miss him for sure, talk to him when you're alone, but you will appreciate him all the more.
I too would be upset about the remark made at his funeral. People are a product of their upbringing, good and bad. Turn away and let your sister handle it. I too don't understand the racism angle of things. You're either a good person or a bad one, or something in between. Honest opinion? In the end, be the person your father raised. You'll sleep at night. Again, I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[clearconscience]

No matter who you are or what race you are they will always be people who see others as "different".

most of the time it's out of pure ignorance or the way they were raised.

when you grow up in a non-diverse community and all you see is the news it's hard to imagine not having some bigotry.

most people just hate things they don't understand.

People get stuck in a mindset and anything that challenges that mindset is "bad".

if you haven't heard of or read about Daryl Davis, you should. He has an amazing story.

 

[Mikej]

Condolences for the lose of your Dad. Been there done that. Both parents in the last ten years. Mom in early 2018.

It's sad, but the reality is there will ALWAYS be racists, bigots, prejudices, and what ever other names for the affliction. It's just a fact. That's what makes all this yelling, accusing, rioting, destruction, people hating others for something that can't be pin pointed or corrected by any of those things, so damned depressing. There just ain't one GD thing YOU personally can do about it. If you think it would help you to confront someone? Go ahead. I personally think you just treat 'em like the turd they are, back off and let 'em lay in the yard. You're not likely to change anything.

 

[PaulB47]

Maybe there will always be racists - can't argue that. But government "remedies" (e.g. affirmative action) can always make things worse. They should change the name "affirmative action" to something more honest, such as "divide and conquer".

 

[Jonnyuma]

Turds come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

Even in the same batch!

"Batch"?

No.

Just...
.... no.

I'm sorry for your loss, @CLT65... I lost my Mom in 2017 and it's still hard. We all know it's coming, try to prepare for it, but the loss of a loved one is an inevitable heartbreak that can't be avoided or prepared for.
Keep the memories alive. Tell stories. The pain fades away after some time and keeping the good times close will help insure that they outlast the heartache. It's what my Mom and, no doubt, your Dad, would have hoped for.

 

[PaulB47]

My Career as a White Police Officer - American Renaissance

 

[sobo]

Awesome read.

 

[HaveGun]

I was reading this thread while sitting in the service waiting area of my local Toyota dealer. The three service guys at the counter were a black guy, a Hispanic, and an Asian guy. In the waiting area there was a couple in their 60's. She was Asian and he was black. She was talking to some other older white lady and wouldn't stop yapping about people not wearing masks. I was sitting across from them with a white woman about my age.

When the guy's wife reached a fevered pitch about someone offending her about not wearing a mask, I looked up from my phone and looked at her. The husband and I made eye contact and he rolled his eyes. I laughed and gave a thumbs up.

Annoying spouses transcend all races.

Here in flyover country, we pretty much treat everyone the same. Except Californians. Nobody likes Californians.

 

[CLT65]

No matter who you are or what race you are they will always be people who see others as "different".

most of the time it's out of pure ignorance or the way they were raised.

when you grow up in a non-diverse community and all you see is the news it's hard to imagine not having some bigotry.

most people just hate things they don't understand.

People get stuck in a mindset and anything that challenges that mindset is "bad".

if you haven't heard of or read about Daryl Davis, you should. He has an amazing story.

Thank you for posting that. I hadn't heard of him before. That was a fascinating video; what an amazing man, to have the courage and sincerity to do what he did.

I've been interested in the issue of race in America for a long time, and my views have evolved somewhat over time. I don't think my folks ever gave it quite so much thought; they simply treated people as people, with respect as human beings.

 

[revjen45]

In any group of people there will be a %age who are a-holes to the bone. Peer reviewed research indicates the average to be 8-12%.
The scientific term is "anus ratio."
The bozos who made the racist remarks were prime examples.