Thoughts on spending 3k in 3 days for no reason...

[L84Cabo]

Am I a dick? Am I being selfish for saying I don't wanna go?

Those are really two separate questions that likely have nothing to do with each other.

You, however, are NOT a dick for not going. Stand your ground on that. Too much of life is spent saying, "yes" to crap that you don't want to do. Especially family crap.

And don't get me wrong. Family is important and you should support reasonable family events with the CLOSE family that is important to you when it is feasible and reasonable. Spending $3K on a wedding trip for someone who is not in your immediate life is a pretty big ask. And especially in these very expensive times, regardless of your financial sitch.

Send your regrets and let them know you won't be able to make it. If you really feel guilty...you shouldn't....but send them $100 Home Depot gift card or something off their registry.

 

[Nosferatu]

If they want you there bad enough, they can fork over the $3k to make it happen. I'd charge them extra for gracing them with my presence.

Outside of that, go buy some ammo and blast your cares away.

 

[Flopsweat]

You can't put a price on good family relations. Just kidding, of course you can and it's waaaay less than $3000. If they're well-meaning, they won't mind you bailing. If they're being selfish, you won't mind them being upset. It's win-win. Just notify them right away so they can have the best chance at filling empty seats.

 

[DeltaRose]

Send a nice gift with your apologies that you will not be able to attend. Solved.

 

[moose]

Which one of the happy couple is family? Claim first rights with the other or refuse to attend. Say it's an old family tradition of cousins. Be creatively angry if they balk.

 

[WAW44]

Which one of the happy couple is family? Claim first rights with the other or refuse to attend. Say it's an old family tradition of cousins. Be creatively angry if they balk.

You're making one critical assumption there. It could be dangreous...




And to the OP. I would not go, but then I would also be ready to accept the fallout.

 

[coop44]

I have had a few weddings of my own . Money down the tubes.

 

[moose]

You're making one critical assumption there. It could be dangreous...

View attachment 1362478

As are you, it could get wilder than that. I don't remember the OP mentioning the related cousin's gender.




(P.S. I barely showed up for mine, wild horses couldn't drag me to anybody elses)

 

[Mikej]

Too bad you're betrothed.

Just sayin'

 

[v0lcom13sn0w]

That's a good point. A few years ago they asked us to take a test before meeting up because we were unvaxxed LOL. Maybe I just throw out the "I got covid" and maybe the unvaxed guy with covid will get uninvited l enough not to go

plenty good reason not to go.

 

[Heyjoe]

Tell your cousin you're sorry you can't make it but you promise to be at the next one lolz

 

[Andesite]

The interwebz has validated your gut feeling. Proceed with your plan. Raise a glass on that day and text a pic to the happy couple. Or, tell them that you donated a goat to the less fortunate, in their names. Done.

Give the Gift of a Goat | Heifer International

The gift of a goat provides milk, cheese and butter for nourishment. On small farms, goats are often the key to a family's survival.

www.heifer.org

 

[CountryGent]

Or, tell them that you donated a goat to the less fortunate, in their names. Done.

Give the Gift of a Goat | Heifer International

The gift of a goat provides milk, cheese and butter for nourishment. On small farms, goats are often the key to a family's survival.

www.heifer.org

Or even:

 

[Mikej]

The interwebz has validated your gut feeling. Proceed with your plan. Raise a glass on that day and text a pic to the happy couple. Or, tell them that you donated a goat to the less fortunate, in their names. Done.

Give the Gift of a Goat | Heifer International

The gift of a goat provides milk, cheese and butter for nourishment. On small farms, goats are often the key to a family's survival.

www.heifer.org

Man this is cool! I love goats. If I had some property a little more rural, I'd have a couple of goats.

 

[Mike_M57]

Stay home, but send them a wedding gift. Maybe a nice art print for their den...

 

[BBQ Guy]

I'd skip it.
F**k em.

It's an invite for a money gift.

 

[CLRTR999]

Got a last minute wedding invite from a cousin who I'm not really close with and know that they couldn't care less if I was there or not. I'm getting married next summer and wasn't considering inviting them because I assumed they could care less.

Anways im getting slack from my folks for saying I don't want to go.

Here's the deal tho. They're Californians. They're also the type of ppl that want a wedding they can't afford in an area they and their guests can't afford. My parents are literally not able to afford to go to this wedding but they're gonna go either way. I said F that. I'm not gonna spend 3k in flights and hotels to maybe see the cousin for 10 seconds and say congrats.

But as I said, I'm getting slack for it. Am I a total dick for thinking it's not worth it?

Me and the fiance are on a big savings kick and we've added another 6 figures to our savings account in the last 3.5 years and we are super conservative with our spending. These people haven't reached out to us in 3+ years but now we are being pressured to come to their wedding.

Am I a dick? Am I being selfish for saying I don't wanna go?

Well...what'd ya decide to do?

 

[titsonritz]

Well...what'd ya decide to do?

Take a toke and put on M.A.S.H. reruns.

 

[Bam]

Your parents will get over it.

Dropping 3k for someone you're not even close with is stupid. If your parents are concerned about keeping up appearances, well they are doing that by attending it themselves.

I was in the same boat, haven't heard from this cousin in over 15 years and suddenly invited to her wedding. I figured 15 years passed, what does it matter now? Haven't reach out since and life has gone on.

 

[ilikegunspdx]

For that $3k you could buy an mp5 clone, 2 good handguns (or one lever gun), and have $1000 left over for ammo. That would be more fun I think.