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I think you are right about having the 3 in 1 gun, or even 2 in 1. Get the G23 with the .357 barrel, practice with the .40 and carry the .357. If you look at the ballistics of the .357 you are less likely to get collateral damage in a self defense situation. The .40 is powerful and goes through stuf were the .357 (if I am not mistaken) is designed not to. It hit and spreads and does alot of damage. Federal air marshals carry the .357 for that reason. Problem with the .357 round is that it is so expensive.
If it was me and I was looking at the 2 in 1 set up I would go XDM for the match grade barrels and the stronger barrels even though they might be a little heavier.