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she hasn't said it yet...

Discussion in 'General Firearm Discussion' started by fendermallot, Sep 18, 2011.

  1. fendermallot

    fendermallot Aloha, OR Member

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    but I don't think SWMBO wants me to get my CHL or bring a gun into the house. Her dad committed suicide when she was 8 and her and her brother were the ones to find him. Yesterday we found out that one of her friends lost their 15 y/o because him and some teens were playing with a loaded shotgun. I think it's really gotten to her and she's afraid what our little boys would do if for some reason the gun wasn't secured.

    I know there's a lot of "what ifs" in there. I guess we'll have to talk about it when the shock of her friends loss wears off. I think I'll just stop talking about it for now, probably the best idea.
     
  2. 22many

    22many PNW Well-Known Member

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    There is a differance between owning a gun and being a responsible gun owner. It sounds to me that neither of the people you had mentioned were responsible gun owners. I have kids and alot of guns. The kids know that my guns are not toys and to never touch them without asking. 99% of the time they are locked in the safe but my everyday carry gun is not. They know that that gun is always loaded and to never touch it unless they have to.

    You can never be too safe but you can teach your children gun safety. The more they know the better you and your family are. A safe is always a good investment for that added piece of mind.

    Whatever the outcome is, stand your ground on this issue. We as gun owners don't need another advocate for gun control given your (or hers) bad experiences with irresponsible gun owners.
     
  3. Redcap

    Redcap Lewis County, WA Well-Known Member

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    Not really even remotely her decision. is it?. Your CHL, your weapon.
     
  4. ogre

    ogre Vancouver, WA Well-Known Member

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    Well spoken my friend.
     
  5. Tangent123123

    Tangent123123 Battle Ground Active Member

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    I looked at this, responded, deleted, responded again, deleted and retyped again. Not sure if you are trolling or just that ignorant? I don't know the Op or his living situation, but if they are living together in a relationship, he can't ignore how she feels about the issue.
     
  6. davef

    davef S.E. pdx Active Member

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    Yea you read my mind Tangent. Its not your relationship Redcap and she has valid feelings toward firearms. Tread lightly and be sensitive. I mean, imagine finding your dad with his head blown off. That would affect me for life if not longer.
     
  7. Skang

    Skang WA Well-Known Member

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    The one they were showing us at the News?

    And yeah, take responsible and proper handing is the key, over time it gets loose or care less. That's when bad things happen. So always keep it mind and do so.
     
  8. fendermallot

    fendermallot Aloha, OR Member

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    wow, you must be a real catch. I've been married for 11 years and we're equal partners in everything. Her opinions matter to me. If it's really bothering her, I'll hold off for a while. We'll see.

    edit: thanks Tangent & Dave
     
  9. littlegsxr

    littlegsxr Below Canada. Active Member

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    I too am a "vicitm" of a suicide. I was a firearm owner before, and will be forever after. As far as pressing the issue with your significant other, tread lightly. Happy wife=Happy life. A family member who is in a close situation to yourself started off slowly. First a hunting rifle in a safe, then slowly added another. I even held onto his pistol for a while until she was more comfortable. Now, about 8 years later she even owns a shotgun. Hasn't shot it yet, but shows some interest.
    And regardless, it will effect her more if you don't give her an option. Use good judgement and good luck.
     
  10. JackFrost

    JackFrost Central Oregon Active Member

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    I know there's a lot of "what ifs" in there. I guess we'll have to talk about it when the shock of her friends loss wears off. I think I'll just stop talking about it for now, probably the best idea.[/QUOTE]


    Please bear with me as this is a long story and I am bad at writing, I met my wife 6 years ago when she was 21 and I was 24. Her father is 100% Gautemalen and her mother is white born and raised in easten Oregon. When She was 5 years old her parents decided top move to Guatemala so her father could manage the familys property over there, and she remembers hearing gunfire frequently. Their neighbors were kidnapped at gunpoint and she also remembers going into town and hiding behind walls because there were gun battles in the streets. She also was in a restaurant when a bomb was tossed through a window and exploded killing a family on the other side of the restaurant, she vividly recalls looking at one of the children her age that was killed as they were trying to get out. She still cries about it when she talks about it.
    The whole point in telling you that is she was VERY anti-gun when we first met and nothing was going to change her mind, I come from a background of growing up with guns in the house and learning how to shoot at a very young age and I explained to her that if we decided to get married there was going to be guns in our home!
    Needless to say we had some pretty heated arguments over the subject and she had some very real concerns for obvious reasons, but we spent ALOT of time and emotion discussing it TOGETHER and she has backed down on her stance and made an effort to compromise with me.
    I bought my first handgun 2 years after we met and took it home and spent 2 hrs showing it to her and let her ask multiple questions about it, she is now much more comfortable with them and has even gone shooting with me several times and last year asked me to buy her a small pistol so could learn to shoot!
    It took alot of time and effort to get where we are today but it was all worth it. There is not alot of responsibilitys that are greater than owning a firearm and it took her awhile to understand that. I never regret the tears and arguments we had to get to the place we are today, we are stronger as a couple for it and she gets why it is important for me to own guns!
    I hope this helps in sharing some insight into other peoples situations or struggles, now might be the best time to bring it up. The longer you wait the more galvanized she will become to the "no guns" policy. Just my 2cents! I wish you the best of luck!
     
  11. fendermallot

    fendermallot Aloha, OR Member

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    She was a strict anti-gun person when we met. She was also a "no kids" person as well. Time changes everything. She's not against me owning a gun (we had a talk). She's just worried about how it's going to be stored and keeping it away from the kids as well as teaching the kids proper respect.

    Gotta figure out some lock box and cable/barrel lock combo for when it's stored in the house. ****, I don't have my CHL or a firearm yet. This is in the future when my poor "rear" saves enough money for something.
     
  12. Jerry

    Jerry Vancouver, WA Well-Known Member

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    What the **** is a SWMBO fer cryin' out loud? Speak english man!
     
  13. DoubleTapDrew

    DoubleTapDrew Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Get one of those gunvault or similar handgun safes and secure it to something immobile. For now you can use it to store small valuables (jewelry, passports, etc) and you'll have it ready if/when she comes around to you getting a handgun.

    She Who Must Be Obeyed (wife/girlfriend)
     
  14. 1911er

    1911er Port Orchard,WA./ Granite OK. Active Member

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    If I am not mistaken SWMBO=She Who Must Be Obeyed
     
  15. PDXSparky

    PDXSparky Keizer / Hillsboro Well-Known Member

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    Seriously? Haven't you hear the saying: "If mama isn't happy, You won't be happy". And if mama isn't happy long enough, YOU won't be happy with half of your stuff left.

    In other words, "Happy wife, happy life".
     
  16. hermannr

    hermannr Okanogan Highlands Well-Known Member

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    You may want to read this: Raging Against Self Defense: A psychiatrist Examines The Anti-Gun Mentality, By Sarah Thompson, M.D.
     
  17. Throckmorton

    Throckmorton Florence,Ore ah gone Well-Known Member

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    you can teach your kids until you're blue in the face not to touch guns,but the reality is most of them are going to touch a gun they find.Some are going to pick it up,and some are going to point it at someone and pull the trigger.
    If you thik 'your' kids would never go against what you teach them..well,it just ain't so.
    Yes,training and more training is very important,but keeping guns out of their reach is just as important if not moreso.

    how does this pertain? the OP needs to give the recent event some time to heal,then work with his S.O. to come to some mutual understandings as to how the gun will be stored,etc.
     
  18. Trlsmn

    Trlsmn In Utero (Portland) Well-Known Member

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    I've been around long enough to know they are always going to be unhappy about something so you have to draw the line on living your life and not the life she allows you to live.
     
  19. ZigZagZeke

    ZigZagZeke Eugene Silver Supporter Silver Supporter 2015 Volunteer

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    I was in the same position. Went very slowly over the last 10 years, starting with hunting equipment. Eventually, I got my CHL and just last year she asked me to go with her to meet someone from Craig's List and to bring my CC pistol along. Start with a good gun safe and let her know that weapons will always be locked in it when not in use.
     
  20. Tangent123123

    Tangent123123 Battle Ground Active Member

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    Right, but there is a difference between using the "guest towels" and something that is actually a valid mental hangup such at this.

    We all learn to pick our battles and usually know which we can win and which we can't. But a relationship is a 50/50 thing and it's all give and take. This is one of those that he should let her have and work on over time I think.
     
    PDXSparky and (deleted member) like this.