Remind me to not move to Florida

[OldBroad44]

YAWN. I share my house with two midget tyrannosaurs, an overly affectionate velociraptor and an Ill Tempered Mutant Landcrab, not impressed.

I met a couple of midget tyrannosaurs once. Ostriches. I stood on my side of the fence looking up at them and was seriously uncomfortable. Turns out I really don't like looking up at birds. The ostriches stood on their side of the fence looking down at me and seemed distinctly unimpressed. Sorta like "D@mn this fence! You look like you would make a nice mid-,morning snack." I decided on the spot that I didn't need any poultry bigger than geese.

 

[OldBroad44]

YAWN. I share my house with two midget tyrannosaurs, an overly affectionate velociraptor and an Ill Tempered Mutant Landcrab, not impressed.

I met a couple of midget tyrannosaurs once. Ostriches. I stood on my side of the fence looking up at them and was seriously uncomfortable. Turns out I really don't like looking up at birds. The ostriches stood on their side of the fence looking down at me and seemed distinctly unimpressed. Sorta like "D@mn this fence! You look like you would make a nice mid-,morning snack." I decided on the spot that I didn't need any poultry bigger than geese.

 

[Diamondback]

I met a couple of midget tyrannosaurs once. Ostriches. I stood on my side of the fence looking up at them and was seriously uncomfortable. Turns out I really don't like looking up at birds. The ostriches stood on their side of the fence looking down at me and seemed distinctly unimpressed. Sorta like "D@mn this fence! You look like you would make a nice mid-,morning snack." I decided on the spot that I didn't need any poultry bigger than geese.

See my av, ma'am. There's a long story and a family inside-joke about our toothy little pizza-thief Junior there...

 

[Ragnar]

Hello @Ragnar --
It looked like a draft from a guy who usually writes fiction. What sort of stuff do you write?

I did a very short career as a science fiction writer. Wrote about 5 SF short stories. Sold two to Amazing Stories and one to Asimov's. I thought I would write SF so as to support what I really cared about, which was plant breeding and research related to sustainable agriculture and food systems. The three pro SF creds gave me the minimal creds to join SFWA and an invitation only workshop for SF writers. Whereupon I discovered that even most successful SF novelists have real jobs to support their SF writing. Fortunately it turned out I could make way more writing about the plant breeding and other ag research I was doing than writing SF. Life is interesting.
Carol

I have always wanted to write SF or some kind of medieval fiction. The thing is I was always so busy that I never got past the idea and a chapter or two. I've written more political commentary than fiction unfortunately. Well, politics are mainly fiction so maybe that counts?

 

[The Heretic]

S. Carolina - but close enough.

 

[2506]

Do you think these incidences only happen in Florida and not throughout the nation?

There's only one state generating outrageous headlines that start "Florida Man…"

My opinion will change if I come across a "Illinois Man threw live gator in Wendy's drive-thru window" or similar.

 

[DunRanull]

COL if you live in the main city in the north island is very high.

I don't live in cities and I don't travel to see them, or people or "culture" or architecture, etc. - I travel to see the countryside and mostly to go place where I can relax or explore in solitude. I am retired, and I don't need to work - I haven't really worked for three years (except one short 5 week stint about 2 years ago). I have enough SS income to live on for now, and two IRAs that I haven't touched since I retired.

I have never traveled overseas, so my first attempt at that would be to someplace where English is the main language spoken and culture not too different from the USA.

No gun culture in NZ... buncha lib women run the place currently.

 

[DunRanull]

But... in Colorado they don't drink Coors Light in Florida they go nutz over the stuff lol

Ya know they make Coors Light from baby piss, right?

 

[DunRanull]

best show in the history of television...

Summa the best babes in the history of television...

 

[DunRanull]

We have all that here

At least in Florida, one can shoot the snakes and gators

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So, who are these worthies? I get the gun control bunch, but the old hides?

 

[Diamondback]

There's only one state generating outrageous headlines that start "Florida Man…"

My opinion will change if I come across a "Illinois Man threw live gator in Wendy's drive-thru window" or similar.

So everytime some CA idiot commits a violent crime we need to start calling it "California Man."

 

[DunRanull]

Did anyone post this already?

Aloha, Mark

Glad I live in Colorado! No hurricanes and 1 tornado I can remember in 50 years... I understand why the wife left Fla to relocate here...

 

[Nosferatu]

So everytime some CA idiot commits a violent crime we need to start calling it "California Man."

That's been reserved already: AKA Encino Man.

 

[DunRanull]

I live in the Gulf Coast of Alabama currently for my wife's school and I like it other than the people are dumber than a box of buttholes, and a certain demographic act like complete savages, but the weather is fantastic and its actually quiet sparsely populated. We are halfway done with the first year of her two-year commitment and I am looking at Florida actually because the quality of live is better when you leave the Willamette Valley. Florida is the only state in the south where you have the freedom and conservative government of the south but have the modern commodities of the West Coast. The rest of the south has stagnant wages (think half of what you make in Oregon) and poor education as well. The rest of the states would be so lucky to have a governor like DeSantis. You have never had so much freedom in your life. Majority of Florida is not like the news and is fairly rural. It's not all Orlando and Miami. There are farms and ranches and huge portions of the state with no developments as well. I have previously lived in Colorado and really liked it there, but it has become a communist utopia just like Oregon. One thing for sure is I will never move back to Oregon again.

I wouldnt exactly call Colorado any kind of "utopia"... it's fast becoming an untenable leftist/lgbtixyz dictatorship/hellhole. If we could just make Denver and environs disappear it would vastly improve the rest of the state.

 

[BlackTemplar]

I wouldnt exactly call Colorado any kind of "utopia"... it's fast becoming an untenable leftist/lgbtixyz dictatorship/hellhole. If we could just make Denver and environs disappear it would vastly improve the rest of the state.

And the front range and the wassatch and vail, and Trinidad and the blo and and and

 

[DunRanull]

And fingers!

Izzat why they call ya "Three-finger Flop"?

 

[Flopsweat]

Izzat why they call ya "Three-finger Flop"?

Nope. Ask your mom about that.

 

[Xaevian]

S. Carolina - but close enough.

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Man, even gators can bear arms in SC!

 

[OldBroad44]

Ya know they make Coors Light from baby piss, right?

Baby piss? How embarrassing! Real men drink only beer made from bull piss.

 

[DunRanull]

Baby piss? How embarrassing! Real men drink only beer made from bull piss.

Yah, I've heard that but I believe it's a lotta bull, ya know?