Remind me to not move to Florida

[OldBroad44]

I am really late to this party, but there is a reason for the mythos of "Florida Man", and it has nothing do do with any past-the-bell-curve proclivities of the residents.

The simple fact of the matter is is that Florida is basically the only state that allows their police reports and records to be openly browsed and scrapped for content. There are other states that have open access laws for police reports, but all other narrow down the access to some kind of specific proactive request. Only Florida lets you hook into a passive feed of all reports and dredge it for content.

And dredge it people do. There are several "news" companies whose sole occupation is combing through those police feeds looking for the most weird and outrageous reports to sell to various news aggregations sites for content. In other state those weird and outrageous reports would only come to light if someone with personal, firsthand knowledge of the event posted it to social media or promoted it to some news site. This does happen sometimes, as you will see those "This guy gives 'Florida Man' a run for their money!" stories out there. But in Florida you can find every such report, sort through them for the most "interesting" and then publish a whole damn catalog of events.

Florida is only know as "Florida" because they hang all their dirty laundry out for the world to see. In every other state they at least try to hide it behind a fig leaf.

Right. An added aspect is that the deliberate searching for and publication of all the weird stories means if you do something stupid in Florida everyone is going to know about it and be laughing at you. We Floridians or transplanted Floridians dont consider the stories "dirty laundry" we want to hide. They are instead precautionary tales to teach us what is what, entertain us, and use to educate our children. These days videos make it all the more graphic. Gators add to the fun. They are the ultimate reality check. They are everywhere there is a body of water anywhere nearby. Even golf course ponds, coy ponds, and sometimes little suburban backyard swimming pools can have gators. So can any of the land gators travel over while looking for new ponds. Be stupid or drunk or stoned or unobservant around gators and you may be lucky a while or the gators may be small. But sooner or later the gator is bigger or your luck runs out.

 

[CountryGent]

The last couple posts are very interesting — thank you. After returning from some time in Florida, I made several comments to my wife that the cities I was in, even at night, were really tame compared to some places in Oregon and California I've been in. (And much less so compared to the real hell holes I've visited in my travels.) I shrugged it off as too small of a sampling size, which it still may be the case, but I couldn't help but wonder if the whole "Florida Man" phenomenon is overblown.

 

[Camelfilter]

The last couple posts are very interesting — thank you. After returning from some time in Florida, I made several comments to my wife that the cities I was in, even at night, were really tame compared to some places in Oregon and California I've been in. (And much less so compared to the real hell holes I've visited in my travels.) I shrugged it off as too small of a sampling size, which it still may be the case, but I couldn't help but wonder if the whole "Florida Man" phenomenon is overblown.

Probably as folks mention, police reports being published.

Along with population (3rd US State ranked by population).

Whereas here in Oregon they can't legally, or don't want to (if they can legally) even publish mug shots anymore.

 

[nammac]

I lived in Florida for several years, just north of Tampa in Pasco County. The area/subdivision I lived in was Uber quiet. We were just off state road 54, not too far from I-75. By 21:00-21:30 hours, it was dead quiet. Like they rolled up the sidewalks or something.

Lots of migration to Florida, coupled with being the third most populated state, and folks still having the right to protect and defend themselves are all factors that feed into those publicly available police reports and blotters.

It's one of the places I've lived that I wouldn't hesitate to go back to live again.

 

[OldBroad44]

Don't forget the alligators. The best of all "Florida man" stories also include an alligator. Here's my favorite, from comedian Shayne Smith:

 

[The Heretic]

 

[The Heretic]

Jeff Bezos Makes 'Emotional Decision' To Shift Base To Miami, Shares Throwback Video Of Seattle Garage Where Amazon Began - Amazon.com (NASDAQ:AMZN)

Bezos said the decision was precipitated by his parents recently moving to Miami and his Blue Origin space venture's operations shifting increasingly to Cape Canaveral.

www.benzinga.com

 

[Flopsweat]

Jeff Bezos Makes 'Emotional Decision' To Shift Base To Miami, Shares Throwback Video Of Seattle Garage Where Amazon Began - Amazon.com (NASDAQ:AMZN)

Bezos said the decision was precipitated by his parents recently moving to Miami and his Blue Origin space venture's operations shifting increasingly to Cape Canaveral.

www.benzinga.com

Sure, that's the reason.

 

[Nosferatu]

Jeff Bezos Makes 'Emotional Decision' To Shift Base To Miami, Shares Throwback Video Of Seattle Garage Where Amazon Began - Amazon.com (NASDAQ:AMZN)

Bezos said the decision was precipitated by his parents recently moving to Miami and his Blue Origin space venture's operations shifting increasingly to Cape Canaveral.

www.benzinga.com

 

[The Heretic]

 

[The Heretic]

Florida Man Arrested For Battery

Me: "Uh, sir? What are you doing?"

notalwaysright.com

 

[Flopsweat]

Florida Man Arrested For Battery

Me: "Uh, sir? What are you doing?"

notalwaysright.com

Should have put some salt on it.

 

[johnny bob]

Should have put some salt on it.

That might be a crime as that would that be a salt and battery.

 

[The Heretic]

I Asked Non-Americans To Tell Me What They Thought Of Each US State — They Did NOT Hold Back

If people were mean about your state, remember: I'm just the messenger!

www.yahoo.com

 

[The Heretic]

 

[RVTECH]

But I kinda miss the alligators.

I can imagine!

They taste like frog legs!

 

[nammac]

I can imagine!

They taste like frog legs!

But more chewy…