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Funny, been tinkering with the same problem. I went out and bought my wife a gun just for her...I bought her a Taurus Millenium Pro...but then she never carried it because she says it's "too heavy". Currently, she steals my Kel-Tec P3AT.
I've found that the best solution for women who can't handle slides is a revolver....nevertheless, women usually find the .38SPC a tad bit harsh on the recoil.
Solution? I plan on getting the wifey a .32 H&R mag, hammerless S&W 432PD Airweight to replace the Kel-Tec (mainly so I can have it back!).
You should see GunBlast's review on it.
First, a random note that Beretta (and maybe Taurus also) makes a great TIP-UP barrel double-action .380 pistol. It's very high quality, mid-sized and heavy so recoil is light. It does not load by racking the slide, but rather by popping up the barrel and manually placing the first round. It can be fired both double and single-action for the first shot. This is great for folks with weak or damaged hands.
Next, I want to affirm the utility of the .32 H&R Magnum revolver! It is an under-rated cartridge that just will not go away because it is so good for folks with sensitive hands. In a two inch barrel it has equal delivered energy to most non-plus-P .38 Special loads, yet the recoil is very mild and follow-up shots are easy as the revolver does not kick much at all. AND in a snubby revolver it is a SIX-shooter. I got lucky and have an early S&W 632 Airweight (no longer made) with a three inch barrel. It handles beautifully and the trigger is very soft and slick. I recommend this one for Women beginning shooters, or for pansies like me with damaged hands!.......................elsullo