JavaScript is disabled
Our website requires JavaScript to function properly. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser settings before proceeding.
I think most who are really rabidly antigun/AR are not going to change sides when you prove that its easier to shoot (and kill people) with an AR than some other guns. Some are opposed to citizens using lethal force ever, even in self defense. And some are actually against citizens taking responsibility for their own safety even when there are no other options. And some, I think, are actually against citizens individually taking responsibility for anything important.
 
OP,

I hope that you continue to recover.

I would have NO contact with this woman but I am not you.

I am not going to post a link to what I said in my post to you, pages back, even before I READ what all of the other people wrote to you. I did go back and read the entire thread after I replied to you, your ORIGINAL POST, from the gitgo.

Old Lady Cate
 
I think most who are really rabidly antigun/AR are not going to change sides when you prove that its easier to shoot (and kill people) with an AR than some other guns. Some are opposed to citizens using lethal force ever, even in self defense. And some are actually against citizens taking responsibility for their own safety even when there are no other options. And some, I think, are actually against citizens individually taking responsibility for anything important.

^^^

THIS is true and thank you!

Cate
 
People can also be antigun because they have never experienced danger and it doesn't seem real to them. They are full of the fearlessness that at comes from ignorance. They feel they dont need a gun, so dont see why anyone should. So they think those who want guns are either bad guys or misguided nuts. Only being attacked or having it happen to someone close to them will change their views.

Thus it was with a female friend of mine back in Minneapolis. She often went to a woods along the Mississippi near her home to harvest leaves for craft projects. One day as a guy came down the path in the opposite direction, he gave a friendly greeting in passing and BANG, without warning punched her hard in the face, knocking her out. When she came to she was over the guys shoulder, being taken off the path back to a more remote spot. She managed to get hold of the scissors she carried in a holster on her belt for leaf harvesting, and stabbed him in the back. He dropped her, and she ran off. She suffered a lost tooth, a couple of loosened teeth, a black eye, and a complete change in attitude about guns. I bought her a gift of a Ruger Standard .22, and started her gun training the next day. From then on she carried in the woods, even seemingly safe little woods within a couple of blocks of her home she had played in as a kid.
 
Last Edited:
I've read the original post but haven't been able to keep up with the other posts very well. 5 years?!? Sex must have been great because the conversation was not. (Sorry I had to say it) If this is all it takes to be disgusted with her she's better off without you and you're better off without her.
If she was really important to you, you could have tried harder to change her views and If she cared about you, she would have been more open to accepting and learning about them. I certainly understand that you need to cut your losses and protect yourself under these circumstances. Still sucks to waste 5 years. When the next opportunity comes along.. Take out your checklist and make sure she qualifies on the big issues. I wish you a speedy recovery from your surgery and this break-up.
 
Talking about this with the wife she brought up a term I never heard of before, transactional sex.

Given this women's parameters and from what the OP has revealed in his posts, it sounds to me that perhaps she was in a relationship of transactional sex.

In these relationships, there never really is emotional feelings for one or both parties. They both get what they want without the nuance of the actual relationship.

Not saying this is what you may had thought you were part of OP, but it kind of sounds like she might have been involved in such a relationship given the position she was in.
 
I've read the original post but haven't been able to keep up with the other posts very well. 5 years?!? Sex must have been great because the conversation was not. (Sorry I had to say it) If this is all it takes to be disgusted with her she's better off without you and you're better off without her.
If she was really important to you, you could have tried harder to change her views and If she cared about you, she would have been more open to accepting and learning about them. I certainly understand that you need to cut your losses and protect yourself under these circumstances. Still sucks to waste 5 years. When the next opportunity comes along.. Take out your checklist and make sure she qualifies on the big issues. I wish you a speedy recovery from your surgery and this break-up.

In post-conversations with my son after the surgery, she was familiar wiht Red Flag laws. She knew how much the hobby was. I never posed a threat to her, always supportive and gentle. The final conversation with her before the surgery she was livid with AR's as "killing machines", why do you need them, they have no purpose other than killing, all this on top of her temper; and that scared me. She was livid and irrational and could not be reasoned with. What emerged was another person with leftist views. Scared me. And, turned me stone cold. Stone cold. We never had a less than civil conversation in the past, some heated, but never the raging anti-establishment person that emerged. Hated the current government, capitalists and conservatives. I think that night she had a bit of too much wine, and that loosened up her tongue. Just drained me. After the conversation she politely walked out, knowing the rapport between us was then dead. I did suggest to her not to leave, but that was her option, and I thought the leaving was foreboding. With someone with a temper like that I did not want them in a home with firearms nor moving in to my home.
 
Last Edited:
tkdguy,

Your analysis of your situation is stable and quite reasonable - You did the right thing!

Hang in there - With time you'll feel better physically and emotionally.
 
In post-conversations with my son after the surgery, she mentioned that she would never call the police on me because of my guns. She knew how much the hobby was. I never posed a threat to her, always supportive and gentle. But, so why was calling the police on me on the top of her mind?...
Good question. I'd be suspicious. Very suspicious. A gun owner might be thinking about this. But a non owner probably wouldnt be unless they were contemplating trying to get someone's guns taken. I think you had a close call.

However, I dont think your guns are safe even now. People can be vindictive in a breakup. She can still claim to be your GF and try to get your guns taken just to be vindictive. If it were me, I think I would want to get as many guns as possible off the premises.
 
In post-conversations with my son after the surgery, she was familiar wiht Red Flag laws. She knew how much the hobby was. I never posed a threat to her, always supportive and gentle. The final conversation with her before the surgery she was livid with AR's as "killing machines", why do you need them, they have no purpose other than killing, all this on top of her temper; and that scared me. She was livid and irrational and could not be reasoned with. What emerged was another person with leftist views. Scared me. And, turned me stone cold. Stone cold. We never had a less than civil conversation in the past, some heated, but never the raging anti-establishment person that emerged. Hated the current government, capitalists and conservatives. I think that night she had a bit of too much wine, and that loosened up her tongue. Just drained me. After the conversation she politely walked out, knowing the rapport between us was then dead. I did suggest to her not to leave, but that was her option, and I thought the leaving was foreboding. With someone with a temper like that I did not want them in a home with firearms nor moving in to my home.
I'm sure you both said things you probably didn't mean. If you used the word disgusted to her face, I understand why she left and you should understand that too. Relationships are tough, it's not all sunshine and roses. You need to decide how much you want to work on it and if she is worth it to you. If she asked "why do you need these 'killing Machines' she's not fully closed off to listening to your viewpoint. It would take a lot of time, patience and work to explain your views. If she loves you she'll come around. Sometimes it's easier to walk away instead of putting the effort into finding a solution, but you might regret it down the road. And one other thing.. just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean they should have access to your guns... those are yours and yours alone.
 
Good question. I'd be suspicious. Very suspicious. A gun owner might be thinking about this. But a non owner probably wouldnt be unless they were contemplating trying to get someone's guns taken. I think you had a close call.

However, I dont think your guns are safe even now. People can be vindictive in a breakup. She can still claim to be your GF and try to get your guns taken just to be vindictive. If it were me, I think I would want to get as many guns as possible off the premises.
Agreed. Why would she say that? Its just odd.
And it is so easy to make a false report these days because there is very little in terms of punishment for making a false report. Until that is fixed within the system, Id be weary.
 
I'm sure you both said things you probably didn't mean. If you used the word disgusted to her face, I understand why she left and you should understand that too. Relationships are tough, it's not all sunshine and roses. You need to decide how much you want to work on it and if she is worth it to you. If she asked "why do you need these 'killing Machines' she's not fully closed off to listening to your viewpoint. It would take a lot of time, patience and work to explain your views. If she loves you she'll come around. Sometimes it's easier to walk away instead of putting the effort into finding a solution, but you might regret it down the road. And one other thing.. just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean they should have access to your guns... those are yours and yours alone.

You're telling tkdguy to
:s0013:.
Sounds like you believe all relationships should be saved and can be saved and are worth saving. No. They aren't. And no, it is actually rare for people to change their minds about deeply held beliefs just because you want them to. Or because you or they love each other.

When GF showed her colors when a bit drunk, tkd was disgusted, horrified, and totally turned off. When you're turned off, it's really over. And how a person acts when drunk may be who they really are. At least its part of who they are. If that turns you off, the relationship isn't going to work.
 
You're telling tkdguy to
:s0013:.
Sounds like you believe all relationships should be saved and can be saved and are worth saving. No. They aren't. And no, it is actually rare for people to change their minds about deeply held beliefs just because you want them to. Or because you or they love each other.

When GF showed her colors when a bit drunk, tkd was disgusted, horrified, and totally turned off. When you're turned off, it's really over. And how a person acts when drunk may be who they really are. At least its part of who they are. If that turns you off, the relationship isn't going to work.
No... I said he needs to decide if it's worth the effort or if he should cut his losses.
 
"Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows
everything that's wonderful is what I feel
when we're together.
Brighter than a lucky penny."

Screeeeeeeech!

WAIT!

Wrong!!

It's far better to walk away when the truth is known.

Trying to salvage the 'unsalvageable' is an exercise in extreme pain and frustration - ..., but can be avoided when recognized...
 
I've always included any prospective partner in my hobbies and avocations. It's easier when you have common interests and share activities. I also made sure I knew what they were into and at a minimum learned about them even if it wasn't my thing. Politics is also a consideration. I never looked for a "mini me" in a mate and everybody has their own thoughts, but I could never have gone into a long relationship with someone who had views in the far corner of the political spectrum. Open mindedness may very well be the best attribute in a prospective mate. Don't forget that it works in both directions.

When I was dating Mrs. 3M she was OK with guns but didn't have any real experience with them, so one of our activities was to go plinking where she learned firearm safety and the fundamentals of shooting. I made sure she had fun and got in as much shooting as I did. After we got married I bought her her first firearm and she got her carry permit.

When I wanted to build a pair of AR's (one for each of us) she was a little hesitant due to the media brainwashing, but when I made the comparison to a Mini-14 that she liked to shoot she got that the functionality was the same. After the builds were complete she was at first hesitant to shoot them, but decided she liked the ergonomics better abd the pistol grip and adjustable stock made it easier for her.
 
And no, it is actually rare for people to change their minds about deeply held beliefs just because you want them to. Or because you or they love each other.
I've experienced a shooting and my initial response was the need for more gun control. I didn't want anything to do with guns. Was pretty sure nothing in my life was going to change that. It was ignorance driven by fear. It takes the right type of person to change Someone's belief on the topic, but it can happen.
 
I've experienced a shooting and my initial response was the need for more gun control. I didn't want anything to do with guns. Was pretty sure nothing in my life was going to change that. It was ignorance driven by fear. It takes the right type of person to change Someone's belief on the topic, but it can happen.
 

Upcoming Events

Tillamook Gun & Knife Show
Tillamook, OR
"The Original" Kalispell Gun Show
Kalispell, MT
Kids Firearm Safety 2 Class
Springfield, OR
Teen Rifle 1 Class
Springfield, OR

New Resource Reviews

New Classified Ads

Back Top