Mega Problems With GF: Rabid AR 15...assault weapons.....

[tkdguy]

After 5 years and her nearly moving in to my home in the next 2 months, the topic of the leftist's anti-america platform came up over dinner. The discussion evolved into the far left's goal to dismantle the 2nd A and her position that all "all assault weapons" should not be sold to civilians. Although he had her facts totally wrong, I was in a state of shock over her profound anger over the 'assault rifle' issue. I was so scared of her anger on the issue that I did not mention that I had several. Her anger over the weapons issue was one thing, but what emerged was her livid anger over the "system, the rich, Trump, etc.". In previous discussion on politics I have almost always avoided discussion, thinking that her democratic ideas was moderate, but now I think she is much more left leaning and rabid. She now raised the issue that her moving in could be deal breaker over my conservative politics and pro-gun assault firearms issues.
I was stone cold over her anti-gun assault gun issue although she was not anti-gun on other firearms; so she said.
So, she said that perhaps we should not stay the night together and I told her to do what she wants to do. She left my home very politely, wanted to stay but she clearly saw my stone cold emotions for her and not at all attractions for her and he rapport was destroyed between us. She left about 9 pm. I warned her politely that I thought that her leaving that evening was a very bad idea; now thinking that if she was living here in the future, that she would bolt if things get difficult. She was going to live her rent free but for food and utility costs.

I was royally disgusted with her last night and still am. I am thinking now that she harbored this profound anger over the years, about firearms and the system that there was another side of her personality that caused me to think that my attraction was to somebody else and not this rabid democrat or leftist thinker.

I am disgusted this morning thinking that the 5 year relationship is best left alone and ended. I am looking at some significant surgery late next week, now, thinking I do not want her in my life, although she desired to continue the relationship regardless, stay with me in the hosptial, now thinking I do not want her there; and I did not express any desire to end the relationship, but my gut tells me that her rabid side is very threatening, and thinking of potential red flag laws, that she does not think clearly, and is anti and she now can not be trusted due to the emergence of her clandestine rabid anti-system politics. Thinking now that she would vote to take my gun rights away. She says that she would respect my firearms interests, hunting lifestyle, and politics and that we should not talk about these matters. But, I do not think I can trust her. She reminded me that at my age of a very young looking 71 year old, that I will never find a replacement for someone who loves me as much as she does. Likely so?
I am just disgusted with her clandestine anger over my type of beliefs, and a mega change in my perception that my image of her personality has now changed radically for the worse. My gut is so upset that I have not intent to call her and given the very heated discussion last night I do not want to talk to her. I feel like my love and attraction for her has gone down the drain. I was going to change my will shortly and considerations were to put her in it, but now, that consideration is off the table completely. I see no need to have her move into my home, essentially rent free; and have her potentially vote to take my rights away.
I have son close by who can take care of me during and following the hospital care, and do not want her in my life today or thinking this entire week before the surgery. Any ideas?
Thanks.

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[slimmer13]

I think that these issues should have been hammered out way before now, and she should have been aware of you own. Since it's coming out now, she can decide if she can live in peace with you and your views or not.

If not, life is way too short to live in a state of constant conflict and animosity.

 

[User 1234]

Because of the apparent five year success of the relationship so far, I would give it a couple weeks to think over. I don't know what kind of surgery you are having, but as someone who has been in the hospital for open heart surgery and joint replacement I know that there was plenty of time to think in between nurse visits, and the mild pain pills did not wipe me out.

If she is rabid, and not open to a discussion of why the only guns which are useful for self defense are those that are lethal, then I can see why she probably hates all guns and the concept of individual liberty. I could not live with that hatred in my house, and she is a "red flag" risk if she ever wanted to hurt you, but there are plenty of people who can agree to disagree and make marriages work, so maybe she agrees to never bring it up if you don't.

But when I first read your post I thought "wow, she has TDS, and is irrational, he should find someone else."

 

[P7M13]

5 years
She doesn't know
Avoid political discussion

Get a spine
Delay the move
Give it more time
If she doesn't come around, sayonara beotch.

 

[Member 34319]

I've got family with the same echo chamber anger. They watch way too much news and the propaganda and brainwashing has converted these types all too well.

Guns are a part of my life. My wife of now 11 years knew this very early on. Her and I are understanding on these things. I don't hold information from her and she doesn't from me. In truth, your views are part of who you are, those should have been disclosed along time ago. Her anger and rabid response should have been known a long time ago.

Sorry to hear your pains. If you have been together this long, there must be a good connection among other things for it to go on that long. That's a long time not to truly know someone unless it was all mostly about sex. If you fell for her and consider her a partner and vise verse and there is emotional love associated with the relationship on both ends other than lust, I think you should be able to work past this. I'd hope. If not and this relationship was based more on lust, perhaps you should lay out your cards on the subject and play your hand. Let her do the same. Go from there.

Best of luck!

 

[DB is Here]

It's odd that the topic never came up before, that said be thankful you identified the problem before it truly became one. Only you can answer the question regarding the relationship but I'm positive what I'd do.

 

[Hood]

My girlfriend was very similar. Best thing you can do is express what makes the second ammendment important and why its a building block on what keeps us in one of the best examples of a democracy on earth. You cannot go into a mentality of me vs her because if this is a deal breaker than maybe there are some other underlying things. Given the exposure from media and movies and the like to the layman a gun is seen as a scary thing that scary bad people have. The best thing you can do is be an example of what a responsible gun owner is. Explain why you have them why its important for americans to have them as a right. Do not take your guns around her until she says she is ready and she may never be ready and that is also her right. If she is okay with other guns reccomend taking her shooting with maybe a handgun and a bolt action rifle so she feels more comfortable in what to her will be a potentially stressful situation. I hope you two can figure this out.

 

[tkdguy]

In the past the topic of firearms came up, but she accepted my hobby but disliked the firearms anyhow. So, I avoided the topic and or ignored her comments about fear of firearms. Never saw the rabid anti system politic side of her till last night. She sounded like a walking talking anti-ar 15 news anchor but fueled by anger.
My stomach is so disgusted with her I have no intent to call her today nor want her calls. Emotions are too raw and distressed. My stomach would be too distressed following surgery to have her in the room this friday.

 

[MannyGlocks]

Be glad she's gone.

Count your blessings!

I've experienced a few leftist psychos in my love life too.

Oil and water do not mix...

Again, be very glad she's gone.

 

[bbbass]

Co-habitation is a form of "quasi" marriage. And many marriages fail early because of failure to screen out incompatibles... instead people just fall for each other and that's it. IMO people need to shop for a mate more carefully, and completely vet the person prior to moving in together. (My wife and I agree on politics, firearms, kids, owning vs renting, financials in general, and investing. If we didn't, we wouldn't be living together!!!) That means having discussions about the "important" things. What's important to you and what's important to her. Because when you find out after having co-habited it is much harder to dissolve.

IMO, you need more Dr. Laura, and less Dr Oz. She is obviously passionate about these things... Be glad you found out now.

 

[wcdubois]

Open communication is ALWAYS best. You have discovered that you have a major disagreement that is not going to go away.
If you both keep these feelings inside you are only delaying the inevitable blow out.

 

[v0lcom13sn0w]

for me, i would give it a go and if she doesnt wanna understand logic...bye.

 

[Cavedweller]

I'm not a relationship counselor but I did stay at a Holiday Inn once.

Consider yourself lucky to have discovered her true feelings before she moved in. You cannot live together and avoid talking politics forever. Your differing views will be a source of irritation if expressed, and will only cause simmering resentment if you try to keep a lid on them.

She doesn't really love you if she can't accept the things that are important to you. Find another date.

 

[Boboclown]

Sounds like a relationship that'll work as well as styrofoam and gasoline near an open flame.

 

[BSG 75]

She was going to live her [sic] rent free but for food and utility costs.

Of course. That should have been your first warning she is a leftist. You should have told her "she needs to pay her fair share" - one of the left's favorite phrases - of all expenses including housing.

I was royally disgusted with her last night and still am. I am thinking now that she harbored this profound anger over the years, about firearms and the system that there was another side of her personality that caused me to think that my attraction was to somebody else and not this rabid democrat or leftist thinker.

I am disgusted this morning thinking that the 5 year relationship is best left alone and ended.

Trust your gut instincts. You are right in wanting to break it off. When you examine it, you aren't upset only because of the gun issue. You are upset BECAUSE SHE HASN'T BEEN HONEST WITH YOU. She has been hiding her true opinions until she is moved in, and then she was planning on converting changing improving you after she moved in.

If you think it would be hard breaking it off now, it would have been 100x harder after she moved in.

I am looking at some significant surgery late next week, now, thinking I do not want her in my life, although she desired to continue the relationship regardless, stay with me in the hosptial, now thinking I do not want her there; and I did not express any desire to end the relationship, but my gut tells me that her rabid side is very threatening, and thinking of potential red flag laws, that she does not think clearly, and is anti and she now can not be trusted due to the emergence of her clandestine rabid anti-system politics.

See, it is not her opinion on guns that is the worst, it is the dishonesty.

Thinking now that she would vote to take my gun rights away.

And vote for politicians who would. She probably cheered when Robert Francis O'Rourke said "hell yes, we're going to take your AR-15s and AK-47s!".

She says that she would respect my firearms interests, hunting lifestyle, and politics and that we should not talk about these matters. But, I do not think I can trust her.

How can you trust anything she says?

She reminded me that at my age of a very young looking 71 year old, that I will never find a replacement for someone who loves me as much as she does. Likely so?

That is both false and manipulative. In the 70 to 74 year old age group there are 100 women for every 85 men. It is men who are scarcer and in demand in your age group.

Not only that, but as a man you can always date younger women, and there is a shortage of men/excess of women in every age group above 40. You have a much larger pool of potential mates to choose from than she does.

The Male to Female Ratio of America by Age Range - Overflow Data

The gender ratio of male to female can differ if you look at it by age, this data visualization shows the differences.

overflow.solutions

I am just disgusted with her clandestine anger over my type of beliefs, and a mega change in my perception that my image of her personality has now changed radically for the worse. My gut is so upset that I have not intent to call her and given the very heated discussion last night I do not want to talk to her. I feel like my love and attraction for her has gone down the drain. I was going to change my will shortly and considerations were to put her in it, but now, that consideration is off the table completely. I see no need to have her move into my home, essentially rent free; and have her potentially vote to take my rights away.
I have son close by who can take care of me during and following the hospital care, and do not want her in my life today or thinking this entire week before the surgery. Any ideas?
Thanks.

Trust your gut instincts. End it. The stress would also not be good for your upcoming surgery. Thank goodness your son is nearby.

You might have dodged a bullet. I say might have because too many men end up rationalizing and making up excuses to stay in the relationship. The power of the poontang clouds their minds and makes them think with their little heads instead of their big heads. Keep this chart in mind



There are plenty of more honest and compatible - and younger - fish in the sea. Man up and do the smart and best thing for you. Be strong. Trust your gut.

 

[v0lcom13sn0w]

tell her your AR15 convinced you to break up with her. i mean, AR15s can be super convincing

 

[tkdguy]

I am thinking that later today, if I do not hear from her with something constructive, I will send her an email after 3 pm telling her that I may get back to her in a two weeks after my surgery, and in the mean time if she needs anything from the house then to let me know and I can deliver to her apartment. She was under a lot of self pressure to move in here or move back to Texas because she is unemployed and her lease notice to renew is due at the end of October. What a mega screw up for her and me but for the best. I had never seen the rabid side of her political personality. Just awful.

 

[2A2Dend]

All good response to the situation. Consideration regarding the issue now, that is definitely something to be thinking about, either way.
With the BS RF laws, either way in the relationship, possibilities of the situation can still go opposed and end up negative.

@tkdguy I hope for the best regarding your situation. You're in somewhat of a pickle.

 

[BSG 75]

I am thinking that later today, if I do not hear from her with something constructive,

...she is unemployed and her lease notice to renew is due at the end of October.

Oh boy. DO NOT GIVE HER A CHANCE TO MANIPULATE HERSELF BACK INTO YOUR GOOD GRACES. When she realizes her mistake and her free housing and meal ticket are threatened, she is going to do whatever she can to make you change your mind. That is what I am worried about, that with clear warning signals you are willing to give her a chance to say "something constructive". Be strong.

 

[CLT65]

Our society is being ripped apart. Everyone is outraged now, all the time. Every little thing you hear on the news now, both sides, is an "outrage". Everyone wants to be outraged. People run on emotion and anger. Relatively few people will actually try to understand all sides of an issue before jumping to conclusions.

There are millions out there exactly like her. If she is otherwise rational, wait until you both calm down, and ask her is she would be willing to calmly and rationally explore all sides of the "gun control" issue with you, not with an eye to forcibly converting her, but just to help her understand where you are coming from and why people on the other side of the issue believe the way they do.

People who will only listen to information from one side are willfully ignorant. Just because you try to understand the other side doesn't mean you ever have to agree with them, but it will give you a much clearer picture of the issue. Tell her if she willing to try that, simply with an eye to better understanding, then there's a chance for the future. If she's unwilling to even try, then you might consider the possibility that you'll be better off without the continued hassle and heartbreak.