Kids dont know how to have fun anymore

[HA556]

He who knows, knows...

That does it! I'm signing up for ballet today!!

I wonder if a middle aged somewhat fatman can even get up on his toes?!

 

[s1xty7]

And that's why my 10 and 12 year old don't have phones or social media accounts. "But dad, we're the only kids in our class that don't!" But nothing. Go play with your legos or nerf guns or the neighbor kids (we have a swing set and little jungle gym in the backyard they all play on). They get some video game time if they've earned it by behaving.

Being realistic, the world they are entering is full of technology that it's taken for granted that everyone knows how to use. They have laptops for school assignments and plenty of incidental exposure to technology that I have no concerns with them being able to operate the tools of modern life. We talk with them about the dangers of what is on the internet and that what you put out there can impact your future as nothing is ever forgotten anymore and you can be punished 15 years down the road for what you post today. Technology has some great benefits, but plenty of drawbacks too. Helping kids navigate that landscape is part of being a parent but it seems like a lot of parents are as addicted as their kids and this is the result.

It may be too little too late, but it's your house so establish some ground rules about when and where phones are allowed. I really like the suggestion of having him take you somewhere without cell service. He might forget himself and actually enjoy it.

 

[The B]

It may be too little too late, but it's your house so establish some ground rules about when and where phones are allowed. I really like the suggestion of having him take you somewhere without cell service. He might forget himself and actually enjoy it.

and this will accomplish exactly and no more than your nephew hating his time at your place, hating you, likely sneaking behind your back, and of course going right back to his normal routine as soon as he goes home and certainly having no interest in ever coming to visit again.

if you cant draw his attention away from his phone you havent done a good enough job selling him. and its highly likely that at 16 youre not gonna really get him away from it - you arent just working against him, youre up against his entire subculture and all of its norms and expectations.

 

[Will_White]

The best way to get a 16 year olds attention on something is just do it conspicuously.

 

[The B]

maybe try some negotiation ... come shoot with me and ill let you borrow the car and wont hassle you about having your nose glued to the screen for the next 6 weeks.. maybe even bribe him a little. come fishing w me and ill take you ____ shopping (baseball cap? phone cover? video game? i dont know wtf teenage boys are into these days)

at 16, as the uncle, if you force anything on him "for his own good" you only alienate him and accomplish nothing.

 

[The B]

the car seems like an excellent bargaining chip. let him use it in exchange for one event - come finish w me, get the car. come shoot w me, get the car. work on this VW w me, get the car

seems straight up to me. i would have gone for that at 16 i think.

 

[oremike]

The best way to get a 16 year olds attention on something is just have a 16 year old girl do it conspicuously.

Fixed it for ya

 

[Aero Denezol]

When I was a teenager in the early 90s we wanted to drive and make money so we could meet girls and have adventures. A lot of young men now just sit home gaming and watching porno. They can't just go to the park and hoop because there's nobody to hoop with. Everything happens on a screen.

Social Media/Dating Apps benefits a small group of men, while most men are finding little success. In other countries its even worse than in the US. The Incel problem in Japan is real. Lots of virgins in their 20s. In the US you see more single moms and more violent men in the middle to lower income brackets. It is destabilizing society.

Young men are taught to disown a lot of their authentic selves. The desire to compete and achieve is tamped down. They have to go and act out in some virtual space anonymously where it's safe for them. My wife and I have two girls in their 20's and they are angry at men... because they were taught to be angry. And their anger alienates people. This stupid social experiment is just not working for either young men or young women.

 

[2Wheels4Ever]

Eh, before phones it was the computer, before computers the tv, before tv it was books. Everyone is different. I was raised in the city, always wanting to be outside. I moved to the country as soon as I could. Lots of kids I grew up with just stayed inside playing video games, and now as adults, many still do on their free time.

 

[ScottInPDX]

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.

- Socrates

And so it is that you by reason of your tender regard for the writing that is your offspring have declared the very opposite of its true effect. If men learn this, it will implant forgetfulness in their souls. They will cease to exercise memory because they rely on that which is written, calling things to remembrance no longer from within themselves, but by means of external marks.

What you have discovered is a recipe not for memory, but for reminder. And it is no true wisdom that you offer your disciples, but only the semblance of wisdom, for by telling them of many things without teaching them you will make them seem to know much while for the most part they know nothing. And as men filled not with wisdom but with the conceit of wisdom they will be a burden to their fellows.

-Plato

People have been complaining about "the youth" and how harmful new technology is since time immemorial. We all have two choices: either find commonalities between yourself and the young people in your life and build meaningful bonds based on them, or be smug and bitter about it while you complain to each other without actually doing anything about it.

 

[American123]

- Socrates


-Plato

People have been complaining about "the youth" and how harmful new technology is since time immemorial. We all have two choices: either find commonalities between yourself and the young people in your life and build meaningful bonds based on them, or be smug and bitter about it while you complain to each other without actually doing anything about it.

And societies have been collapsing since time immemorial… interesting correlation.

 

[Mikej]

16 year olds now have been conditioned to think it's possible to be the "Other" sex regardless of the wedding tackle. So the 16 YO girl is likely no-go. I had a job shortly after I was 16 and have had jobs mostly ever since. when we weren't working we would PLAY! Fishing, hiking, road tripping, had trail bikes. 16 YOs haven't been conditioned to work/have jobs. So life is play a device every day. Going fishing or hiking takes energy. I don't think they even require physEd in school any more do they?

 

[Aero Denezol]

People have been complaining about "the youth" and how harmful new technology is since time immemorial. We all have two choices: either find commonalities between yourself and the young people in your life and build meaningful bonds based on them, or be smug and bitter about it while you complain to each other without actually doing anything about it.

Eh, before phones it was the computer, before computers the tv, before tv it was books. Everyone is different. I was raised in the city, always wanting to be outside. I moved to the country as soon as I could. Lots of kids I grew up with just stayed inside playing video games, and now as adults, many still do on their free time.

The internet is a revolutionary technology. It's not a simple leap forward from radio to TV. It's probably the single most impactful technological development since they split the atom.

I'm not bitter about what kids are doing. I'm setup just fine. I am concerned that kids are not doing so well. As in record setting mental health problems. I'm talking cutting and suicide on a scale not seen before.

 

[Mikej]

I'm not bitter about what kids are doing. I'm setup just fine. I am concerned that kids are not doing so well. As in record setting mental health problems. I'm talking cutting and suicide on a scale not seen before.

I'm not bitter. I'm terrified of what our society could become with such a large number of the youth of today doing, nothing. I won't be here much more than a couple of decade. If that. And I'm damned glad too!

 

[ScottInPDX]

The internet is a revolutionary technology. It's not a simple leap forward from radio to TV. It's probably the single most impactful technological development since they split the atom.

I'm not bitter about what kids are doing. I'm setup just fine to ride everything out. I am concerned that kids are not doing so well. As in record setting mental health problems. I'm talking cutting and suicide on a scale not seen before.

Oh, I agree totally. There are some very valid reasons to be concerned for young people today, and social media has far-reaching effects, many of them negative.

But that's not what I'm seeing in most of this thread. It's a bunch of people being grumpy about kids not wanting to do what they want to do, or "having fun" in the same way that they did at the same age. And it's coupled with a lot of the usual "kids are just lazy these days" BS that's been parroted for every generation.

 

[Will_White]

I'm not bitter. I'm terrified of what our society could become with such a large number of the youth of today doing, nothing. I won't be here much more than a couple of decade. If that. And I'm damned glad too!

Your grandparents said the same thing about you.

 

[Alexx1401]

Working in health care I see an amazing number of teens who come in because they said they wanted to kill themselves over their phone being taken or someone not being willing to buy them the latest damn phone. Amazing to see.

 

[Mikej]

Your grandparents said the same thing about you.

We have discussion about that. 25 years ago 16 year olds would start clamoring for summer jobs before school ended in the summer. Going to local eateries, gas station, grocery stores, all manor of small businesses, to line up summer work. when I was in high school there was a work release program. That meant if you had the credits you were suppose to have you could leave school, after lunch to work a job.
I'm sure our parents and grand parents had worries about us. What's going on now is much different.

Hey! It's summer time. When you're out and about look around, see how many 16-18 YO you see working.

 

[sobo]

I am concerned that kids are not doing so well. As in record setting mental health problems. I'm talking cutting and suicide on a scale not seen before.

...and mass shootings...

 

[Will_White]

We have discussion about that. 25 years ago 16 year olds would start clamoring for summer jobs before school ended in the summer. Going to local eateries, gas station, grocery stores, all manor of small businesses, to line up summer work. when I was in high school there was a work release program. That meant if you had the credits you were suppose to have you could leave school, after lunch to work a job.
I'm sure our parents and grand parents had worries about us. What's going on now is much different.

Hey! It's summer time. When you're out and about look around, see how many 16-18 YO you see working.

I see alot of them, working fast food, stocking grocery store shelves, pumping gas. There are kids that don't work but there's always been kids that don't work.