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Yup, tough love...............Regret? Nope, they now have been "clean n' sober" for 6 years and are welcome anytime....
Yup...my father.
You don't have to send a letter or "explain" yourself.. you could/can just do it by not doing it.
Modeler, I appreciate your desire to give closure, I just hope you don't think you owe it to him. I have no respect, and little use for my dad. Seeing him more than a few times a year puts me in a funk that has a negative impact on those I chose to love. So in a sense I can relate. Have I actually disowned him? Not really. I guess to each his own, just make sure you are doing right by yourself.
That's pretty much where I'm at. My brother casually disowned him years ago (stopped talking to him but never said things were through) but I've hung on hoping for more. It's been 18 years since he left my mother for his current wife and just now at 34 years old I finally got up the courage to ask him to explain his actions and why he was never there for me after my 16th birthday.
Apparently it's all my fault, the way I reacted to him leaving and moving far away to be with another woman.... Or so he says. I can't do it anymore. I need to move on.
I have the e-mail written, but I haven't sent it yet. It feels like he's dying, and in a way he is. I will never have a father again.