Have you ever disowned a family member?

[Kruel J]

Yes I have. My mom. And its been 14 years. And I have no regrets. Cheat on my dad? Goodbye.

 

[The Heretic]

In a sense - I have broken contact with my ex-wife.

Not because I hate her, but because in her "current" (i.e., for over a decade) mental and emotional state it is a hassle for me to have her call me at 2 AM in the morning and rant and rave about whatever drama is going on now in her life and then ask me for substantial sums of money to help her out of whatever situation she has gotten herself into.

So I make sure that she doesn't have my phone # - which can be hard when family members share it with her. They have finally learned their lesson, when after they gave her my number and then she started calling them at all hours and calling them at work.

Beyond that - yes, the ex in-laws were disowned decades ago for their crimes (literally, crimes). One is dead now - may he rot in hell - the other is in prison for the next 50 years (hopefully, for the good of society and his family, he will serve the full sentence).

 

[pokerace]

Yes

No

I will piss on there graves

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Both my siblings. Thankfully I had a Spartan and righteous father

 

[The Heretic]

Yes

No

I will piss on there graves

If they give you the pleasure. I was looking forward to doing the "what I leave on your grave will not pass for flowers" bit with my ex-FIL, but he anticipated that and was cremated.

And it is "their".

 

[orygun]

Family, no? People who used to be super close friends, yup. Certain in-law? yup.

No reason to be around or emotionally support someone who is intent on ruining their own life and/or making mine and others Hell.

Even though it may be hard, it's right and I don't regret it. Would do it all over again.

 

[Will]

They will always be family as I see it so I haven't disowned any, I have distanced myself from some family members for what I believe to be good reasons. Time has a way to fix something's and those that can't be fixed in time matter less as those people are not in your life.

 

[Classic]

Yes and rarily. Miss my brother sometimes and it bums me out but then I think what a f__king putz he was and I quickly get over it

 

[BigBull 301]

Yup.
Nope.

I disowned two actually. Both were my siblings, and I miss neither.
And apparently they don't miss me, as they haven't tried to make contact either.

Ditto!

 

[pokerace]

If they give you the pleasure. I was looking forward to doing the "what I leave on your grave will not pass for flowers" bit with my ex-FIL, but he anticipated that and was cremated.

And it is "their".

Try pissing on the ASH..

 

[The Heretic]

Try pissing on the ASH..

I don't have access to it. If I did I would put it in the toilet then take a dump on it.

 

[clambo]

Yes, I've done it. No, no regrets. Best decisions I ever made. I do sometimes feel somewhat sad and alone over all of it but imho there was just nothing left to do but to cut them out of my life or waste the rest of it trying to "fix" things that are unfixable.

 

[Modeler]

Thanks for all your replies guys. I was feeling kind of alone about this whole thing, but it's good to know that there others out there who have done similar things with good results. I sent him the goodbye e-mail yesterday.

 

[clearconscience]

I have several. Mostly my dads family all portland bleeding heart libs I can't stand and always end up in arguments with them.
I would sooo love to disown my old man too. Everytime i see him i'm just reminded of how much resentment and lack of respect/love i have for him.
Too be honest and show how shallow i am, i only stay in contact with him to stay in his will. Only thing he'll ever have given me.

 

[Member 34319]

Interesting thread. Good reads. Makes me feel good that I'm not the only one!

My brother got hooked on money and nice things at a young age. He married into money. It as well as the woman he chose turned him into something different then the person I grew up with.

One year I called them out on their bull. It made us enemies as well as put strain on the rest of the family.

A few years later their consistent BS wore on the remainder of the family and it became obvious they aren't really that great of people.

Thing is I love my brother, or maybe who he was or still possibly is under all the lies and BS. I just don't have to like him or want to be around him or his family.

Shameful part, not a regret, just a bit sad to think about, is how freaking cute my niece is. I know though, that even if putting up with they adults in the mix were possible, we still wouldn't see much of her anyways.

It's harder on my folks I think because of the grand kids. I know they hate the way they are and put up with it for the little ones.

It is what it is.

 

[ChristmasTree]

Have not seen or been back to visit my family but twice in 30 years. I speak often to my step sister on text or FB occasionally phone as she was good to me. Starting speaking to my mother on the phone recently as at age 80 she cant beat me anymore lol. Focus on yourself and your immediate family and forget about it. It is what it is. Thats the truth.

 

[ChristmasTree]

Have you? Do/did you regret doing it?

Yes I have and no I never regretted it.

 

[Oregonhunter5]

This topic is very important to me right now. It's relivant.
Here is one just one small snapshot. Meaning I could tell you stories for days.
In my twenties, I opened up finally to my parents that I will sexually abused by a neighbor as a young child. ( and I lived in a nice area)
I have also dealt with depression. Not sure if it's related to the abuse stuff. Anyways. When I shared that info, at that time, I was HIGHLY low. I won't use the S word, cause I don't want this info keeping me from owning guns one day. But just know, I tried to finish the deal if you get my drift.
My dad who I told me story to, shared with the family so they could support me if needed. Just keep a eye in me.
I get a call from my brother. ( not a nice guy. His wife, bad. Together, fire and gasoline on the family). His comment. I heard what happend to you when we were growing up from dad. And let me say this. It's good to know what up, cause your arrogance is beyond exceptible these days...
I was finding ways to end my life, and that's his response.

Fast forward to today. Hundreds of stories similar to that towards me. And I've done intense self teaching and correction to become a better person. Christ centered( always was). Just work on myself. I've made great changes I feel. But it has never changed how that brother treated me. Btw. He's actually a very disliked guy.
Here is the crux. I am the family guy that wants everyone to get along. I love my family. Nothing else matters to me. But this brother keeps peeing on my back. But to be honest, he treats everyone in the family this same way.
So! I'm in the middle of separating myself from him now. I get to spun over it anymore. Not worth bringing that upset feeling home to my 4 kids and wife anymore.
Family is a double edged sword. I just envy those families that get along well. It's a special thing they have!

 

[Mikej]

So much sadness in this thread......

Oregonhunter5, what a great close family you've made. Looking to them for your joy in life and never mind the rest. I would hope would be the secret.

I've pretty much disowned my entire family I suppose. My brother and I have never had a thing in common and his, his, whatever bizarre female creature he's hooked up with. He loves to spend money on anything new, while our 90 year old mother has to walk to the bus and train to get down town to get her hair done. The family home crumbles while the brother cruises and trailers around in any spare time. I tried to get some stuff moving to keep mom comfortable and safe but was thwarted by both of them every time. Last time I left there I told Wifey " I never want to come back here". I was always the "Bad Son" though, and him the good. I have about 50 cousins, and more second and third cousins I would expect by now. Good Mormons living in the valley of the LDS World Headquarters. Though Mom and brother aren't followers of the church.

 

[marty8587]

I've always been able to let family back in for the sake of my kids, but the friends that only show up when there's something for them to gain and the ones I have to go get my tools back from are History!