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My sweetie's hands are fairly weak, they just are. So she has a VERY hard time racking any of the slides in our collection. That is the only reason for a J-frame for her. It was her choice.
I totally agree with some of the ladies here. That is, that men too often think a revolver is the best for a woman's first gun. The way a revolver recoil's though, is NOT fun.
A way for women having trouble to rack a slide is holding it close to their bodies, just under the breasts. The elbows should be bent at a roughly a 45-degree angle. She can either use her left thumb and forefinger to grasp the rear of the slide OR, she can press DOWN on the top of the slide, while at the same time pushing straight through with her right hand, basically in a straightening out kind of motion. she should end up with her right hand (with the gun) at about a 150-degree angle around or past her left hip and her left almost touching her right shoulder. she can also use her hips to "help" her right hand through the motion.
For people who are having trouble racking slides, it can take some practice. And at first some people think they can't do it. They can, they just haven't got the motions all down yet. It can take some students dozens of repetitions to get this down, especially with a stiff recoil spring. Also make sure she understands this is a FAST, VIOLENT motion. The slower she goes, the harder it will be.
Very hard to put into words, but I hope this helps.