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Since this is your first firearm, buy yourself a .22 and practice like heck with it. In the meantime, like others have said, rent or borrow some different 9mm pistols. I think in a short time you'll find yourself much less concerned about recoil. All 9's have fairly light recoil and it should not really be the most important factor in selecting one.
I agree. First gun? I would recommend either a .22 or .38 revolver or maybe a .357 because you can also fire .38 ammo. Autos are fine and I hvave several in everything from .22 to .45 but you REALLY need to know the controls. My everyday carry is a Taurus Tracker stainless .357 that I keep loaded with +P contolled expansion .38 ammo. bottom line, simple effective, easy to handle and very accurate.