Spending Freeze 2.0, Child Support Shocker.

[ma96782]

None of this has ever made any sense to me. If a woman wants me to support her, she needs to be nice enough not to get kicked out of my house. Sound mean? Don't move in with me. You want to leave and take our children? They're your responsibility now. If you can't afford them, bring them back. You don't get to demand equal pay and also alimony. I don't care about the cries of how you "gave up my career". That might be valid in a few easily provable cases, but for everyone else it's just an excuse. I also don't buy that you got used to living at a particular level so I have to give you thousands of extra dollars. You have a new level now. If you can get used to it going up, you can get used to it going down.

I once had the idea that child support payments should be like an auction/bidding process.

Huh?

Yeah.....you bid how much child support you are willing to take or pay to the other person. And he/she can counter the bid until an agreement is reached.

Example: I'll take the kid and you can pay me $450 a month in child support.

Counteroffer: No, I'll take the kid and you can pay me $400.

See what's happening here?

Rrrrright.......a whole new way to figure out a proper/agreeable Child Support Payment.

BUT, But, but.....what happens if no parent wants the kid?



Aloha, Mark

Hummmmm.......What If? Say that no parent really wanted the kid?

Offer: You take the kid and I'll pay you $500 a month in child support.

Counteroffer: No, you take the kid and I'll pay you $550 a month.

 

[Flopsweat]

I once had the idea that child support payments should be like an auction/bidding process.

Huh?

Yeah.....you bid how much child support you are willing to take or pay to the other person. And he/she can counter the bid until an agreement is reached.

Example: I'll take the kid and you can pay me $450 a month in child support.

Counteroffer: No, I'll take the kid and you can pay me $400.

See what's happening here?

Rrrrright.......a whole new way to figure out a proper/agreeable Child Support Payment.

BUT, But, but.....what happens if no parent wants the kid?

View attachment 1171100

Aloha, Mark

Hummmmm.......What If? Say that no parent really wanted the kid?

Offer: You take the kid and I'll pay you $500 a month in child support.

Counteroffer: No, you take the kid and I'll pay you $550 a month.

If you can't reach an agreement out of court, the default position of the court will be to put them up for adoption.

 

[TTSX]

If you can't reach an agreement out of court, the default position of the court will be to put them up for adoption.

Probably better anyway. Divorced households breed maladjusted children. At least an adoptive family might actually love them

 

[Flopsweat]

Probably better anyway. Divorced households breed maladjusted children. At least an adoptive family might actually love them

I was thinking nobody can hate their kids so much they'd let that happen. But you have a point.

 

[TTSX]

@slimmer13 has motivated me to hop back on the spending freeze 2.0 saddle again. I have racked up $3400 on a credit card again and have spent money like crazy during the last couple of months. Well over a thousand in the last couple of weeks.

I am setting aside $200 cash for firearm related purchases (doesn't include TCGC membership dues which I will cover from checking acct) to get me through Oct 31st, 2022. That will coincide with end of weightloss challenge. If I want to purchase firearm related items with costs beyond the $200, I will sell existing firearm stuff to cover cost or trade where possible.

In order to have some accountability, I will keep track of running total starting with this post.

Current firearm spending related fund is at $200.

If you've ALREADY fallen off the wagon that badly twice, by APRIL, I'm not exactly confident you'll last until May. You might need an external person to control your money while you get yourself sorted

 

[clanhanson]

Probably better anyway. Divorced households breed maladjusted children. At least an adoptive family might actually love them

Divorced parents can love their child just as much as non-separated or unmarried parents. Sometimes being apart is best for all parties.

 

[arakboss]

If you've ALREADY fallen off the wagon that badly twice, by APRIL, I'm not exactly confident you'll last until May. You might need an external person to control your money while you get yourself sorted

Maybe Britney's dad would step up to provide conservatorship.

 

[arakboss]

If you've ALREADY fallen off the wagon that badly twice, by APRIL, I'm not exactly confident you'll last until May. You might need an external person to control your money while you get yourself sorted

It's worse than it looks because the $3400 doesn't count cash purchases and payments I have made on the account. It's not pretty and would be considered binge territory in the substance abuse world.

I made some great classified scores though.

Reloading Lot (5k Small Rifle Primers, 1lb H322 & 8lbs Accurate 2520 Powder, 9mm, 22, & 30 cal bullets)

*****SOLD***** Good Afternoon All, For various reasons, my reloading setup never came to fruition. Trying to offload the reloading supplies that I amassed before I move. Please read the entire post before messaging. I will not ship any items in this post. Can meet anywhere inside of a ~60...

www.northwestfirearms.com

Aero Percision M4E1 18" 5.56 Complete Upper w/ ATLAS S-ONE Handguard

Brand new never fired. Upper comes with Warne cantilever scope mount & SIG Buckmaster 3-12x44 scope. I paid a little over $460 for the upper alone. * BCG & Charging handle not included

www.northwestfirearms.com

 

[arakboss]

I have come to the realization that a spending freeze is not going to happen for me at this time. My sole credit card balance is up to almost $3500 now. I am going to hit the wife up for a loan at 5.5% interest to pay it off in May. I am going to rework my spending goal to not use any credit. Maybe a spending freeze will come later but it isn't in the cards for me right now. It's weird but I think the dieting makes me want to spend more money on non food related items. I used to get my some of my dopamine fixes from getting great deals on junk calories and spent additional time eating them. I am thinking now my mind is adjusting my behavior to fill the dopamine fixes and spare time with spending on firearm stuff?

 

[TTSX]

Dude............. this sounds like an actual problem

 

[arakboss]

Dude............. this sounds like an actual problem

It's a real problem for sure but it could be worse. I could be gambling, using drugs, participating in marital infidelity, etc. The wife is most bothered by the piles though. If I wasn't worried about theft, I would haul a bunch of stuff to my cabin but that would be inviting repeated break ins, if it was discovered I was keeping anything good down there.

 

[SrMachoSolo]

It's a real problem for sure but it could be worse.

I've seen your many other posts, and I wonder what the root cause is... there seems to be a void you're trying to fill.

My suggestion is do some introspection, honest soul searching, and admit to yourself what you feel you're missing in life. Only then will you be able to find the balance you've been seeking.

P.S. It's not going to happen overnight, and you really have to want it.

-Robert

 

[arakboss]

I've seen your many other posts, and I wonder what the root cause is... there seems to be a void you're trying to fill.

My suggestion is do some introspection, honest soul searching, and admit to yourself what you feel you're missing in life. Only then will you be able to find the balance you've been seeking.

P.S. It's not going to happen overnight, and you really have to want it.

-Robert

That is great advice and I am working on that now. After reading @Tarawa86 suggestion about possibly having ADHD, I looked into it and I think that could be my problem. I have been reviewing my life choices from childhood on and it's checking off all the ADHD boxes. I am a vehemently anti-doctor type, especially shrink doctors, so I have no plans of trying to be diagnosed. I am looking into what non-medication solutions people with similiar behaviors have found successful.

My main focus is going to be directed at behaviors I do (or don't do) that affect those around me. Getting chores done, cleaning up my piles, being a better listener, etc. The other stuff can be put off until later. I know some people can stop bad habits cold turkey and or turn their life around on a dime. I am not one of those people.

I have an extremely busy mind which has an immense appetite for dopamine. I will have to try to make it work with my normal life.

 

[arakboss]

My $3500 balance caused my credit score to drop 11 points. On the plus side I am still above 800.

 

[TTSX]

My $3500 balance caused my credit score to drop 11 points. On the plus side I am still above 800.

View attachment 1187900

That's great and I'm happy for you. However, you're still $3500 in the hole for no reason. If you have the cash, pay that off, cut up the cards and don't apply for new ones. Without trying to be mean and acknowledging it may look that way, you're digging yourself a hole with a backhoe you'll quickly not be able to climb out of at this rate.

 

[arakboss]

That's great and I'm happy for you. However, you're still $3500 in the hole for no reason. If you have the cash, pay that off, cut up the cards and don't apply for new ones. Without trying to be mean and acknowledging it may look that way, you're digging yourself a hole with a backhoe you'll quickly not be able to climb out of at this rate.

The debt is not optimal but in my mind it's not my biggest financial problem. It is my only debt. A bigger problem is finding a free or much cheaper alternative to my current spending (cash or credit) habits, that fills the same void. I have yet to find that. Visiting my cabin property works, when I am able to visit but it's too far away to fill the roll very often. I need an alternative that I can do all the time. I wish range time filled that void but it doesn't, maybe that will change as I age.

 

[parallax]

No disrespect to parents. But I am so glad I never had kids

 

[SpudBob]

My $3500 balance caused my credit score to drop 11 points. On the plus side I am still above 800.

View attachment 1187900

Credit score, IMO, is a farce. When did this become a thing! I have know idea and dont care about my credit score. I owe nothing , except monthly expenditures which i can easily pay, and I pay cash for most everything. I do keep a bank account with a few thousand in it to pay mothly things. My wife and I live frugally IMO and are in the black every month so I see no reason for credit. I do have a credit card or two that I CAN use for convience only but ALWAYS pay off the balance. There have been a few times where i have made payments but ONLY because the entity that I was dealing with charged ZERO interest to do so. I did it because I could!!! Old Hebrew saying "Its NOT about the principle it's about the interest!!!" Just my 2c!

 

[arakboss]

Credit score, IMO, is a farce. When did this become a thing! I have know idea and dont care about my credit score. I owe nothing , except monthly expenditures which i can easily pay, and I pay cash for most everything. I do keep a bank account with a few thousand in it to pay mothly things. My wife and I live frugally IMO and are in the black every month so I see no reason for credit. I do have a credit card or two that I CAN use for convience only but ALWAYS pay off the balance. There have been a few times where i have made payments but ONLY because the entity that I was dealing with charged ZERO interest to do so. I did it because I could!!! Old Hebrew saying "Its NOT about the principle it's about the interest!!!" Just my 2c!

Maybe it will help offset my poor social credit score once the Disinformation Police start issuing the scores to us like China does. My social credit score is going to be very very low

 

[ORhutner]

@arakboss I would recommend changing out what you consider a bad habit for one you deem a good habit. One suggestion would be to go exercise when you feel the impulse to spend unbudgeted money. Over time you will find yourself craving exercise instead of satisfaction from spending. Will also help with your weight loss goal. Two birds, one stone. You could substitute any number of other things like reading a book for 15 minutes when you feel the urge to spend, make a healthy snack or whatever fits with you and resonates. After you have had time to remove yourself from the urge then you can continue on as normal without having made the purchase.