Signs of a crappy country...

[DinhRose]

I feel like the US has been getting a bad rep for too long now. It's time we poke fun at some other less fortunate countries. In the spirits of Jeff foxworthy let the joking begin:

You're a crappy country if...

Your source of running water has crocodiles
The closest source of water might be underground
The person on your currency is possibly still alive and at large

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[dolooper]

I feel like the US has been getting a bad rep for too long now. It's time we poke fun at some other less fortunate countries. In the spirits of Jeff foxworthy let the joking begin:

You're a crappy country if...

Your source of running water has crocodiles
The closest source of water might be underground
The person on your currency is possibly still alive and at large

Your next President will be your current Prime Minister who previously was...your President.

 

[DinhRose]

If you still have "villages"
Was at one time or currently a part of the USSR
You were surprised to find out that US citizen are not officially called Capitalistic pigs
The AK47 is the primary weapon of your armed forces (I'll catch heat for this)

 

[sandman1212]

your whole living area is about the size of my bathroom
it takes 1,300,254 of your currency to make 1 of mine
90 degrees in the shade is a nice fall day

 

[Doubletap]

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. Your cousin is president of the United States

 

[DinhRose]

Aww double tap came in for the KO with #10

Stoning women is still an option
Government officials are openly visiting brothels
An American Celebrity has performed at your palace
UN troops are a permanent fixture of your countryside
You can only use satellite phones
Houses still have tin roofs
Your leader has appeared on TV fully armed

 

[Redcap]

Aww double tap came in for the KO with #10

Stoning women is still an option
Government officials are openly visiting brothels
An American Celebrity has performed at your palace
UN troops are a permanent fixture of your countryside
You can only use satellite phones
Houses still have tin roofs
Your leader has appeared on TV fully armed

My house has a tin roof...

 

[jdub75]

...your (now ex) president sleeps in a tent on the palace lawn.

 

[drew]

Blood diamonds are a major part of your economy
They're still exhuming mass graves of your former leader's political opponents
People burn the currency for heat
Firing an AK into the air is a common form of celebration
Your capital is Sacramento

 

[slingshot1943]

Your country sells milsurp rifles that have not been fired and dropped once.

 

[jbett98]

You wear a flag from another country when traveling away from yours.

 

[NuthinFancy]

Your national sports are Ice Hockey and Curling.

 

[drew]

You wear a flag from another country when traveling away from yours.

Don't some Americans still wear Canadian Flag shirts or put maple leaves on their luggage?

 

[jordanvraptor]

Your toilet is a hole in the ground...
You wear a clean white shirt that touches your knees...
You varnish plywood with diesel fuel...
The dung beetle is your national bird...
There are more goats and sheep in your country than humans...
The cool guys put "Type R" on their cars...

 

[slingshot1943]

The newest car in your country is a 57 chevy.

 

[DinhRose]

You have a healthy fear of us troops
Gorillas have a protected sanctuary but your people don't
The only westerners in your country are mercenaries or ex pats
The jersey shore has been filmed in your country
Your cars run on mainly unrefined diesel
Your number one export is illicit drugs
Your continent resembled south America and/or Africa
Your next door neighbor has far stricter immigration laws

 

[PhysicsGuy]

I feel like the US has been getting a bad rep for too long now. It's time we poke fun at some other less fortunate countries. In the spirits of Jeff foxworthy let the joking begin:

You're a crappy country if...

Your source of running water has crocodiles
The closest source of water might be underground
The person on your currency is possibly still alive and at large

You do realize that a large portion of the drinking water in the US comes from groundwater....

 

[DinhRose]

I did actually know that but that's the beauty of making ironic broad sweeping statements. Very little of it has to be based in reality. 90% of jokes are funny because of being timely rather than timeless

 

[drew]

More people in the country have cholera than are literate.
Smallpox is still prevalent
You go to the Shaman instead of a doctor
There are more camels than cars
It's normal to see tanks rolling down the street

 

[DinhRose]

Save the children has been established in your country
Your primary mode of transport are donkeys
The national drink is vodka or some variant there of
Seal team 6 has officially denied being there
The people are equally afraid of the rebel and the military
Half of your political leaders are or have been accused of war crimes
Food and supplies are dropped off via a C130 cargo planes
AIDS far outbeats heart disease
Americans can name more drug lords than Nobel prize winners from your country