Washington Sasquatch now protected on all BLM lands in Oregon and Washinton

[OldBroad44]

The problem is evolutionary paths. If a population of bigfoot has managed to survive, from what did they come from? As has been said before in this thread, North American primates went mostly extinct 56 million years ago with a few species surviving to 26 million years ago, long before humans. And those known fossils? None were larger than either tarsiers or lemurs. More damning, there is a fossil tentatively dated to 21 million years ago, of a South American capuchin-like monkey that managed to go North from South America before the Panama land rose.

Bigfoot, if he exists, is presumably a great ape. Great apes evolved in Africa and spread from there. So Bigfoot would be a relative of Gigantopithecus. I'm figuring if Bigfoot exists, the Himalayan Yeti probably does too and is another relative of Gigantopithecus. And I'd guess that Bigfoot came across the land bridge between North and South America about 12,000 or 15,000 years ago, something like that. I think humans got here much earlier because they sailed down the Pacific coast of the Americas in boats before there was any passible land bridge. At any rate the earliest human settlements in the Americas predate the passable open coridor across the land bridge. Nobody reports seeing Bigfoot in boats or building fires or using spears. So if Bigfoot exists he is presumably untechnological. Many reports claim Bigfoot throws branches or rocks. But all us great apes do that.

If Bigfoot was a common animal we would have expected to find fossils in Siberia, Beringia, and North America. But if he was always relatively rare, no fossils would be no surprise. It takes an extraordinary sequence of rare events to make fossils.

 

[CamoDeafie]

Bigfoot, if he exists, is presumably a great ape. Great apes evolved in Africa and spread from there. So Bigfoot would be a relative of Gigantopithecus. I'm figuring if Bigfoot exists, the Himalayan Yeti probably does too and is another relative of Gigantopithecus. And I'd guess that Bigfoot came across the land bridge between North and South America about 12,000 or 15,000 years ago, something like that. I think humans got here much earlier because they sailed down the Pacific coast of the Americas in boats before there was any passible land bridge. At any rate thevearliest human settlements in the Amerucas oredate the passabke ooen cirridoor acrissvthe kand bridgemNobody reports seeing Bigfoot in boats or building fires or using spears. So if Bigfoot exists he is presumably untechnological. Many reports claim Bigfoot throws branches or rocks. But all us great apes do that.

If Bigfoot was a common animal we would have expected to find fossils in Siberia, Beringia, and North America. But if he was always relatively rare, no fossils would be no surprise. It takes an extraordinary sequence of rare events to make fossils.

And we have never found evidence of any Great Apes in the Americas. Giant Sloths though.....

 

[Flopsweat]

And we have never found evidence of any Great Apes in the Americas. Giant Sloths though.....

This was what I was thinking. In that long a migration, they could easily have passed through or even lived in areas more suited to preserving their remains.

 

[OldBroad44]

There's only one known skeleton of Clovis man in the America's. And none of Preclovis Man as far as I know. What we find is their stone weapons or tools. If we didnt make such tools and weapons there would be no evidence that humans were here then. Until the last decade or so we knew Denisovans, a relative of Neanderthals, only from some fragments of finger bones found in one cave. Sloth remains are not very similar to primate skeletons. We actually know for sure that giant apes evolved because of currant gorillas and fossil Gigantopithecus. I'm assuming that if Bigfoot exists it came to North America recently, as did humans. There is extensive evidence for evolution of great apes, the family to which we belong, in the old world. None at all for their evolution in the new world.

 

[Mike Minihan]

We do have a Bigfoot season in Oregon. It's in
January every year. All over this area guys have
heads over the lintel post,much like the Celts of old.
The animals are quite tasty,if prepared properly.
They taste like chicken. Of course most everything tastes like chicken.

I personally use a .375 Hollands to take them. I've
only had to shoot twice once. The damn things breed like rabbits here. For that reason there is no bag limit. They are not nearly as bulky as believed,they are quite tall,but skinny as a rail. If
one sees you first,it runs rapidly away while turning side-on. When edgewise,they are for all practical purposes invisible. I have just ordered a
f.l.i.r. scope for this reason.

We're not supposed to tell outsiders,but hell,you guys are like family. The best thing about hunting them is that no license or tag is required. They are considered varmints. Tracking is easy,they are
clumsy and loud and stink to high heaven. They also chatter constantly,no discipline.

Now despite the fact that they are skinny,they are tough s.o.b.' s. If one gets hold of you,you are a goner. They are known to rip a man's head clean off,and you know the rest. It is best to party hunt them. One member in each hunt team must carry a 8 or 9 shot 12ga. If they get in close they are all but invincible. Some of the guys prefer a Viking axe to a shotgun. This works well also,and gives a guy the opportunity to "go berserker".

If any of you guys wish to participate in a southern Oregon Bigfoot hunt,contact me or Turbo. He is likely to have a new rifle for this coming season. He also has the BIG frying pan.

best regards,

Mike Minihan

 

[Mike Minihan]

In Oregon,the most popular 'foot recipe goes something like this. Go out in the tall timber and kill
a bigfoot. Clean it out and skin it,this is the worst part,remember these boogers STINK.

The preparation as food comprises of stuffing the carcass with duck eggs,still in the ducks,of course. Stuff
the ducks into big salmon,plural. Stuff the salmon into 3 chupucabra. Fill the rest of the body cavity with as many onions and garlic,and of course put 150 lbs. of bacon INSIDE the 'foot.

Prepare an 8 foot diameter firepit at least 4 ft. deep. Gather 2 full cords of apple wood. let it burn down to embers as you build a very large hand cranked spit. This utilizes the Hawaiian hui hui
method wherein someone very drunk turns the spit
slowly for 4 hours.

Serve like a big haggis, mmmmmmmmmmmm good.

This will feed a very large group,invite all of your friends and neighbors. Be sure to include at least 2
anthropologists from the nearest university,as well as all of the hippies and tree huggers as you can.
The professors and hippies are there for entertainment value. They have a strange aversion to eating any meat,'foot seems to really bother their sensibilities.

When the media shows up,that's when you start serving,'foot,elk,deer,bear,and of course,boiled owl. The 'foot is cut into 4" slabs with a 48" Husqvarna chain saw. The chain oiler is filled with olive oil,of course.

There is NO human DNA in these creatures. If there was,they would dress up like hippies. We do have lots of hippies a few miles south in Ashland.
They closely resemble the beast,stinky,clumsy,and
quite undisciplined.

Ashland by the way,is accurately described as 40
square miles surrounded by reality.

There you have it,a spring and summer feast! Turbo uses the BIG frying pan method. I also understand that he has a secret Cajun recipe. I do wish that he would share that with the rest of us.

best regards,

Mike Minihan

 

[HighlandLofts]

A couple of years ago a guy was hunting in Colorado and said he was held captive and was repeatedly raped by a bigfoot.
His azz must be huge, big feet, big you know what.

 

[Aero Denezol]

A couple of years ago a guy was hunting in Colorado and said he was held captive and was repeatedly raped by a bigfoot.
His azz must be huge, big feet, big you know what.

Best thing I've read this week

 

[Member 38805]

I hear they're adding the tooth fairy, and Tinkerbell to the list soon too!

 

[Spitpatch]

With a background in Anthropology, I am open to any and all hard evidence of a large wild primate currently existing in North America. Sadly, absolutely none exists. To label persons like myself as "non-believers" is entirely inaccurate. I WANT to believe. It would be the greatest discovery in the history of Anthropology and possibly science itself. The holder of such evidence would be immediately world-famous and extremely wealthy. Protected species or not.

On a more practical level, the "acid test" for me is that almost without exception, the people who "claim to believe", and go looking for a 7-foot tall primate rumored to kill humans somehow never see the need to carry a gun. (Even the most gentle-minded of Grizzly Bear researchers...Timothy Treadwell aside...recognize the need for a defense resource.) "Bigfoot Hunters" have the additional prospect of collecting not only a specimen but a fortune. With such valid and dual motivation, why no guns?

As to a heretofore unverified animal receiving "protection", I would share a story from a Montana buddy who overheard a couple Granola chicks talking in a bar about Grizzlies (prior to them being protected, the debate about it was prominent): He sidled up near the girls, and mentioned (to someone else) his desire to shoot a Grizzly. "Why on earth would you want to shoot a Grizzly?!", exclaimed one of the girls.

" I wanna get one before they're all gone!" His reward he claimed, was visible steam from their ears.