I'm not the type to make excuses or use this or that as a crutch. I've always preferred to take care of myself and suck it up when the chips are down. I'm not going to go into details, but things can suck pretty bad. And sometimes worse than others. I'd being going to this counselor, and she suggested I talk to the doc about depressive stuff. So I saw the doc and was diagnosed and me meds. I said to both that I'm not the type, and they said that everyone needs help sometimes. That was last year. I'm also not the type whine and look for "Poor PapaHepcat" pats on the back. BUT, I did want to mention that I decided that I wouldn't carry until things get better. I fully believe that anyone who carries has to occasionally look themselves in the mirror and honestly ask themselves things like "Should the time come, are you ready to take a life if necessary?" "Will you hesitate?" "Will you have the right frame of mind all the time?" "Do you absolutely trust yourself?" If I can't immediately say "yes" to all those types of questions, then I need to put it all in the safe. I said yes to most of those questions. But not all, so that's what I did. I even gave my wife the keys. This isn't about some type of control or mamby pamby ideals. This is about honesty. The reason I carry in the first place is to protect my family. If I honestly question that ability, then there's no point. The truth is, I miss my gun. I miss it digging into my side and feeling my strong side slightly heavier than the weak. I believe it's important to carry all the time - not just when you're traveling or heading to the "bad side of time." But I have to be honest with myself. For example, sometimes I forget to eat (and I LIKE to eat). If I forget that, what else might I forget in the heat of the moment? I'm confident everything will blow over when circumstances improve. I suppose until then, I should work on my Kung Fu.