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Not carrying while dealing with depression

Discussion in 'General Firearm Discussion' started by papahepcat, Mar 20, 2012.

  1. papahepcat

    papahepcat Silverton, Oregon, United States Member

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    I'm not the type to make excuses or use this or that as a crutch. I've always preferred to take care of myself and suck it up when the chips are down. I'm not going to go into details, but things can suck pretty bad. And sometimes worse than others. I'd being going to this counselor, and she suggested I talk to the doc about depressive stuff. So I saw the doc and was diagnosed and me meds. I said to both that I'm not the type, and they said that everyone needs help sometimes.

    That was last year. I'm also not the type whine and look for "Poor PapaHepcat" pats on the back.

    BUT, I did want to mention that I decided that I wouldn't carry until things get better. I fully believe that anyone who carries has to occasionally look themselves in the mirror and honestly ask themselves things like "Should the time come, are you ready to take a life if necessary?" "Will you hesitate?" "Will you have the right frame of mind all the time?" "Do you absolutely trust yourself?"

    If I can't immediately say "yes" to all those types of questions, then I need to put it all in the safe. I said yes to most of those questions. But not all, so that's what I did. I even gave my wife the keys.

    This isn't about some type of control or mamby pamby ideals. This is about honesty. The reason I carry in the first place is to protect my family. If I honestly question that ability, then there's no point. The truth is, I miss my gun. I miss it digging into my side and feeling my strong side slightly heavier than the weak. I believe it's important to carry all the time - not just when you're traveling or heading to the "bad side of time." But I have to be honest with myself. For example, sometimes I forget to eat (and I LIKE to eat). If I forget that, what else might I forget in the heat of the moment?

    I'm confident everything will blow over when circumstances improve. I suppose until then, I should work on my Kung Fu. :)
     
    rusobr2 and (deleted member) like this.
  2. glock.40

    glock.40 Orygun Active Member

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    No matter what the internet strong men on here will say, it's your decision - and I respect you for making a responsible one. Best of luck, and prayers for a different state of mind.
     
  3. Burt Gummer

    Burt Gummer Portland Completely Out of Ammo

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    You sound like a sharp guy with a lot going for you. If you have doubts about your decisions while carrying, then only you can decide whether or not to pack heat.

    Try to get outdoors, go to range events and hang out with people. Most gun people are friendly and cheerful; that is contagious. Be as social as you can be. I hate pharms and their drugs so I won't go into a long diatribe about that.
     
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  4. thereddog

    thereddog State of Jefferson Active Member

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    For sure you did the right thing, and your comment on Kung Fu might be right on target.

    I have known folks that had issues with depression and one of the best ways to get up out of the rut can be exercise.

    Carrying is a huge responsibility and I believe that a carrier must be on his/her game at all times. If you are feeling punk or are in the red as far as emotions go (or blue) maybe just take the pepper spray that day.

    Hope you feel more like yourself soon.
     
  5. SteelyDan

    SteelyDan Junction City Active Member

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    Even depressed people get attacked.

    I'm making the assumption that you provide for a family. You have an obligation to protect yourself and to make sure you return home every night, depressed or not.

    Heartless you may say? Not at all. If you are suicidal that is another matter and should be treated immediately because you will find any resource to accomplish that. Having a firearm handy would just expedite it, otherwise you would find a rope, bridge, bus, hemlock, etc.

    However, if you are going about your business out in the great world shopping, going to work, etc then why wouldn't you still protect yourself? Unless you plan to commit suicide by walking down MLK at 2am wearing a Klan robe then you should continue your daily carry routine. I'd hate to read that you were beaten to death in a carjacking and Zoloft did nothing to prevent it.
     
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  6. Burt Gummer

    Burt Gummer Portland Completely Out of Ammo

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    I really visualize things and the Klan robe thing really has me chuckling.
     
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  7. PDXGS

    PDXGS Aloha... yes, Aloha, Oregon Member

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    Good for you for taking the time to be introspective. That's a good sign and you deserve praise for that.
    Have you had your Vitamin D levels checked lately? I found out that mine were seriously low and it had really taken a toll on my mood. Shoot me a PM if you'd like to talk about it...
    Been there, dealt with that...m
     
  8. DEADTIME

    DEADTIME Coeur D alene Active Member

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    That's a good idea, I went though a stint of depression do to a family situation and I locked my guns up and gave my dad the key. There's nothing wrong with knowing when you need help, I went to a good therapist and got on some med's and in about a year I was right as rain. Most of all don't be afraid to talk about the crap in your head and how you feel, your not alone. Hang in there, get some help and pray.
     
  9. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner You'll Never Know Well-Known Member

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    Sound Wisdom! Your family, Your life, Your decision!

    Knee mail on the way from the Dunerunner household!
     
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  10. MarkAd

    MarkAd Port Orchard Well-Known Member

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    Praise God. That is the most awesome thing I have seen here.

    As to the OP. Been there, still fight it sometimes. So i grab a gun a butt load of ammo and blast away AT TARGETS ONLY. That is my therapy

    The vitamin D is a great ideal. It helps with pain also. I use it everyday.

    You do what you need to to get better. God and NWFA got your back.
     
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  11. Mandodoc

    Mandodoc Battle Ground, WA Member

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    There's some really good people on this website. Proud to be here. Papahepcat take care.
     
  12. tomcat mv

    tomcat mv Maple Valley WA Member

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    Papahepcat, sounds like you have your head scewed on right. A little over four years ago, my wife and I lost our youngest son unexpectedly and I locked up all my guns because I just thought the world was ending. Took me a couple of years to even care about it anymore, but with prayer and firends and family, things can work out. good luck my friend, I will say a prayer for you.
     
  13. ATCclears

    ATCclears Seattle area, WA Well-Known Member

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    papahepcat, this may not solve it all but go into the Pharmacy section of Costco and see if they have a light that emulates sunlight. Winters in the Pacific Northwest are hard with all the dreary days. It might help somewhat or a lot. :)

    Peter
     
  14. teflon97239

    teflon97239 Portland, OR Well-Known Member

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    Something else...

    Under normal circumstances, it's more or less automatic to exist in the realm of "I'd NEVER hurt myself!"
    - I owe more to my family.
    - It's a cop-out.
    - Things will get better.
    - This thing isn't going to beat me.
    - etc., etc.

    Consider, though, that even if you haven't the slightest notion of harming yourself, preoccupation with the weight of the world on your shoulders can cloud judgement and severely impair inhibitions.

    Consider the "fight or flight" instinct that might normally get any of us OUT of a bad scene... live to tell about it and learn a good lesson too. In a profoundly horrible depression, though, is there a chance we might choose unwisely to fight anyway? "Enough is enough and this sh*t stops here tonight!" That's how too many stubborn last stands begin.

    You're a smart guy to recognize something is amiss and take the precautions you deem best. Good man.
     
  15. Bigfoot

    Bigfoot Clack Co. OR Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure here if you took the serotonin-re uptake meds or not. There is no "type", nobody can control their neurotransmitters. I went on the meds 15 years ago for a month or so, haven't needed em since. I was getting divorced, starting a new business and improving my bare property to move to all at the same time and my brain chemistry went out of whack. If your brain wont settle down and you cant concentrate on one problem at a time TAKE THE PILLS. Those were my symptoms, yours might be different. If you are taking them, just relax and wait until they kick in. I can't describe how great the day was when the drugs started working and all that weight was lifted.

    Seriously it's just a dang pill. Doesn't mean a thing. You take vitamin pills to keep your bodies chemistry in balance, sometimes the brain needs to be put back into balance too.

    When they kick in you'll wonder why you put yourself through all that by waiting so long.

    Take care. PM me if you want.
     
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  16. receo

    receo Sandy, Oregon Active Member

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    Best post I've read on this forum yet. Ebb and flow, wax and wane. You'll be on top again soon.
     
  17. coop44

    coop44 Tacoma ,WA Well-Known Member

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    Pm sent
     
  18. Spitpatch

    Spitpatch Forest Grove, Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Here stands a man.
     
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  19. MagDump

    MagDump Vancouver, Washington Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    I second Spitpatch's quote: "Here stands a man".
     
  20. DEADTIME

    DEADTIME Coeur D alene Active Member

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    Yup, it takes a man to deal with stuff sometimes. Its easier to run from stuff or act like it doesn't exist than to take a stand.