Mega Problems With GF: Rabid AR 15...assault weapons.....

[Stomper]

After 5 years and her nearly moving in to my home in the next 2 months, the topic of the leftist's anti-america platform came up over dinner. The discussion evolved into the far left's goal to dismantle the 2nd A and her position that all "all assault weapons" should not be sold to civilians. Although he had her facts totally wrong, I was in a state of shock over her profound anger over the 'assault rifle' issue. I was so scared of her anger on the issue that I did not mention that I had several. Her anger over the weapons issue was one thing, but what emerged was her livid anger over the "system, the rich, Trump, etc.". In previous discussion on politics I have almost always avoided discussion, thinking that her democratic ideas was moderate, but now I think she is much more left leaning and rabid. She now raised the issue that her moving in could be deal breaker over my conservative politics and pro-gun assault firearms issues.
I was stone cold over her anti-gun assault gun issue although she was not anti-gun on other firearms; so she said.
So, she said that perhaps we should not stay the night together and I told her to do what she wants to do. She left my home very politely, wanted to stay but she clearly saw my stone cold emotions for her and not at all attractions for her and he rapport was destroyed between us. She left about 9 pm. I warned her politely that I thought that her leaving that evening was a very bad idea; now thinking that if she was living here in the future, that she would bolt if things get difficult. She was going to live her rent free but for food and utility costs.

I was royally disgusted with her last night and still am. I am thinking now that she harbored this profound anger over the years, about firearms and the system that there was another side of her personality that caused me to think that my attraction was to somebody else and not this rabid democrat or leftist thinker.

I am disgusted this morning thinking that the 5 year relationship is best left alone and ended. I am looking at some significant surgery late next week, now, thinking I do not want her in my life, although she desired to continue the relationship regardless, stay with me in the hosptial, now thinking I do not want her there; and I did not express any desire to end the relationship, but my gut tells me that her rabid side is very threatening, and thinking of potential red flag laws, that she does not think clearly, and is anti and she now can not be trusted due to the emergence of her clandestine rabid anti-system politics. Thinking now that she would vote to take my gun rights away. She says that she would respect my firearms interests, hunting lifestyle, and politics and that we should not talk about these matters. But, I do not think I can trust her. She reminded me that at my age of a very young looking 71 year old, that I will never find a replacement for someone who loves me as much as she does. Likely so?
I am just disgusted with her clandestine anger over my type of beliefs, and a mega change in my perception that my image of her personality has now changed radically for the worse. My gut is so upset that I have not intent to call her and given the very heated discussion last night I do not want to talk to her. I feel like my love and attraction for her has gone down the drain. I was going to change my will shortly and considerations were to put her in it, but now, that consideration is off the table completely. I see no need to have her move into my home, essentially rent free; and have her potentially vote to take my rights away.
I have son close by who can take care of me during and following the hospital care, and do not want her in my life today or thinking this entire week before the surgery. Any ideas?
Thanks.

Matters "of the heart" are more painful than physical injury (and often affect the physical)...

As a man on his 3rd marriage of >16yrs (I finally got it right!), I'll not give you advice nor one of my "that's what Stomper would do", Stomperisms... I would point out that you've already articulated your answer in your original post.

Only YOU know what needs doing.


GOOD LUCK & a speedy recovery with your surgery!

 

[UnionMillsNW]

I empathize with your consternation.

Successful relationships are work. Pure and simple. Even after five years (or fifty years) having an open, honest, and continuous dialogue is important.

Often times people get upset about things that are foreign to them or out of their control. This is where personal engagement becomes so important.

I have come across many a stranger, friend, and family member that shared your girlfriend's strong opinion. Instead of dismissing them outright (which helps no one), or trying to appeal to their reason using statistics, I ask a simple question:

"Am I one of (insert whatever category they are raging about) ?"

Generally their reaction is a pause followed by "Well, I'm not talking about you...I'm talking about these other people"

"So you'd have me be a criminal when I'm not harming anyone?" is my varied response.

And then we can have a discussion on "othering" people, how placing a broad net over a group of people often snares people that they know and love, and if someone isn't bothering anyone else they should be left alone.

If you haven't invited her to enjoy your hobbies with you it may be beneficial to take her to the range. My girlfriend had a similar opinion as your girlfriend (although not so enthusiastic) when we started dating. I slowly introduced her to using a 10/22 and my Ruger Wrangler. Eventually she shot my other firearms and was absolutely giddy when I made her a keychain with her initials out of one of my spent 5.56 rounds.

People are far less likely to spit vitriol when they realize they are talking about someone they love.

If this is someone you care about then be kind and patient in your approach; perhaps in time your partner in life will be your range partner.

If she is unwilling to have a calm conversation...then that is another issue.

Ultimately relationships are difficult and take work. Be sure you are with her for the right reasons. I'd be cautious intertwining my life out of financial necessity or fear of being lonely. Be with someone that makes you the best version of you; just as, hopefully, you make them the best version of themselves.

Good Luck on your surgery. I wish you a speedy recovery.

 

[MannyGlocks]

One can only 'discuss' a subject when the other side is rational...leftist's aren't known for their logic.

They are known for their wildly exaggerated emotion.

BSG 75 said it best: "DO NOT GIVE HER A CHANCE TO MANIPULATE HERSELF BACK INTO YOUR GOOD GRACES"

Stay strong.

Being red flagged or swatted doesn't make for a good future...

 

[bbbass]

Another thing: "You will never find anybody that loves you like I do" is the classic line of an abuser/manipulator!!! This is a HUGE red flag!!!

My ex was a manipulator and it turned to mental/verbal abuse later... not saying it is guaranteed, but be wary!!!

 

[GOG]

Two words: Run away!

When my wife died I figured I'd be alone till I died. But what happened is that I met a woman by random chance when she sent me a very nice email of condolence.
We eventually met for lunch and have been together since, almost three years now.

She's a patriot, constitutionally based, know the 3% movement well, enjoys all types of firearms except the big boomers and has her own AR pistol which I built for her. She used to own a health food store, knows nutrition and homeopathy, herbs and is a long term prepper.

She loves me more than I thought possible and this all happened "by accident".

I'll be seventy in a few months, she's fifty-five and who knew I could get so lucky?

You might have that kind of "luck" too.

Personally I enjoy my own company and my life and experience makes me who I am today.
I paid heavy dues in the course of my life, but it formed me. I'm not willing to change, hide or subrogate who I am or my beliefs.

I wish you the best, but I think you were saved from a bad situation just in the nick of time.

 

[bbbass]

work as well as styrofoam and gasoline near an open flame.

And you know about this how???

 

[P7M13]

Lots of really good replies here. +1 to those warning you of her manipulative response.
Be true to yourself, be open and honest with her.
And FFS, if you're going to live with someone, you better be ready to talk about *everything* that matters -- these discussions should have happened already.

Sounds like a relationship that'll work as well as styrofoam and gasoline near an open flame.

And you know about this how???

What, you don't make your own napalm?

PS, good luck with your surgery, and may you heal up quickly.

 

[Boboclown]

And you know about this how???

Don't ya know? We clowns gave ya'll the knowledge!

 

[bbbass]

Don't ya know? We clowns gave ya'll the knowledge!

You Clown! Quit clowning around!!!

 

[Boboclown]

You Clown! Quit clowning around!!!

Last time a clown quit clowning around Derry happened.

 

[gmerkt]

Well, I've been married for 45 years so don't know too much about the girlfriend business. But I had plenty of observation of my mother being single for 30 years. As we get older, yes the emotion of romance can still be there. But the importance of material substance creeps into the picture. In relationships involving elder singles, there is often the situation where one participant has more substance than the other. So just suspicious me advises caution on this point or so your situation may seem to indicate.

I think people of opposing viewpoints can have successful relationships but commonality sure makes things easier. As older people each with a lifetime of acquired habits, you will have enough problems such as deciding which brand of bar soap to use. So you don't need major philosophical differences. I'd think.

In the lady's defense. It may not be that she hid her vitriol against guns for all that time. It might be that mainstream media sensationalism and leftist propaganda somehow instilled these emotions in her fairly recently.

I think I know what I'd do. If I still valued her company for reasons other than political differences, I'd keep her in outside girlfriend status longer, not as a move-in.

 

[tkdguy]

Right now I am feeling no loss of her because her rabid anger on the issues, guns, trump, the system; was so shocking that I feel my feelings went down the drain. Thinking I want to stay away and most likely permanent the way I am feeling now. The shock of her rabid anger was so devastating. Although during he discussion she requested that we not get into this and avoid the topic, I assertively pressed forward because what I saw initially was the tip of the iceberg. When she opened up about leaving for the night I was not wanting to sleep with her, and she knew that; and I wanted to see if she was going to stay or leave on her own account as I was thinking that if she left that was foretelling of her real lack of attachment and things to come. She did try to console me when I turned stone cold, she tried to be affectionate, with a kiss, which I returned but I was not receptive to her affections. She asked if we could get beyond this and be friendly or affectionate last night, but my feelings were shot. I kinda thought of sleeping with the enemy. She wanted to continue the relationship, still wanting to care for my hospital care but I was so disgusted and devastated over her vitroil that I could not see having her around this next week or there after. Just awful, but insightful.

 

[bbbass]

rabid anger on the issues, guns, trump, the system;

I think good people can be anti-gun, anti-Trump, etc... but what does it mean to be against "the system". Is that just a symptom of negativity, or something more? Does it mean Socialist. leftist, Change? I couldn't live with anybody that thinks our system of government needs to change... changing laws, yes... changing politicians, yes. But I kinda like the Constitution that I have pledged to defend. Soooo, I'm not sure what you mean when you say she is against the system.

 

[drstrangelove]

Have you ever taken her shooting? If not, take 2 cases of cheap soda and get slo mo video of her exploding pop cans and catch the smile. Start with a 22 pistol (preferably suppressed), move on to doing it at 50yds with a suppressed AR 300blk subsonic. The muzzle blast on an 223 AR can be a turn-off, as is stinging blowback.

If she doesn't catch the bug or refuses to go or even try, then it is a lost cause. The thing people don't realize is that liberalism is a mental illness, and like a personality disorder, there is no cure. There are many many more fish in the sea.

The big picture is that you know what makes you happy. Consider letting her be happier with a Beta male and a Prius. And you find a real woman who drives a pickup and isn't afraid to get dirty. Church functions, rodeos, grange meets, and Christian Mingle/EHarmony are options.

 

[The Heretic]

I am the last person to ask about relationship advice, but...

I realize after 30 plus years of being single I am better off alone than I was being married to someone who saw life's issues quite differently than I did. That wasn't the main reason for our separation, but it was for the divorce. I still have regrets - but only because there was a child involved - otherwise I would say that I had no regrets.

On the one hand, I often feel that life is too short to pass up a chance at love.

OTOH, this whole things about divisive politics, guns being just one stark example, really makes me not want to take chances with someone who might betray me later. I have trust issues with other people, especially women - several of whom have tried to manipulate me because they saw me as a way out of their situation (especially with regards to $$$), while I on the other hand strongly feel that I don't want to rely on other people.

I know a woman online who I would probably be compatible with, but occasionally she parrots some anti-gun crap on FB and that just increases my feeling that I can't trust her, even though she isn't 'rabid' about it (AFAIK, who knows what her true feelings are?).

I have a family (daughter and SIL) to care for, and being a prepper, that includes providing for and protecting them if SHTF, which in turn involves firearms, not to mention my financial assets. My daughter comes first, everyone and everything else is secondary.

If I get romantically involved, then that person has to be someone I can trust, and not just for myself.

If the relationship doesn't work out, then what happens? Is that person going to become vengeful like my ex-wife did? Will they try to claim some portion my financial assets after living with me for a while? Those assets are substantial and tempting to some people, but they are meant for my daughter. Will they 'red flag' me at some point, either out of spite or maybe thinking they are doing what is right?

I vacillate back and forth. It would be so nice to have someone who is compatible with me, for companionship/etc. in my senior years, but then I remember how bad it was, especially after it fell apart.

YMMV

 

[nammac]

You already know the long term answer, this is a relationship that sounds like you'd live to regret going any further with. Much good advice has been offered in this thread. Long term happiness required comparability on many, many levels. Politics, religion and gun ownership being just a few.

Prayers for a quick recovery from your upcoming surgery as well As healing from this conundrum.

 

[CLT65]

In situations like this, discussing relationship issues on an open forum with strangers, you have to take every response (including mine of course) with a grain of salt.

We don't know you or her, motives, feelings, or background. We're all just responding based on our own experiences, assumptions, and backgrounds. So she flew off the handle over politics. Maybe she regrets it now and would be willing to listen to your perspective, or maybe she's a hard-core leftist. We don't know, that's up to you to figure out, if you so choose.

The reason I say this is several years ago I was a listening ear for a good friend of mine who was going through a rough time. His wife left him, took the kids, got a restraining order; it was bad. I know her and her family very well; she's a wonderful person. I won't mention details, except that there was serious misunderstandings about motives and such, primarily brought on by a "friend" giving her bad advice that was based on her own past relationships. It nearly destroyed a family. They did get it worked out with time and counseling, and are doing great now. (The fault was mostly his, and he readily owned up to that.)

My point is that nobody really knows your situation except you, and take advice lightly because our assumptions could be totally wrong.

 

[No_Regerts]

I am thinking that later today, if I do not hear from her with something constructive, I will send her an email after 3 pm telling her that I may get back to her in a two weeks after my surgery, and in the mean time if she needs anything from the house then to let me know and I can deliver to her apartment. She was under a lot of self pressure to move in here or move back to Texas because she is unemployed and her lease notice to renew is due at the end of October. What a mega screw up for her and me but for the best. I had never seen the rabid side of her political personality. Just awful.

Just remember that the female of the species possesses a certain set of skills, skills gained over the years to manipulate men like you (and me). Don't let her felatiate her way back into your life. Its not worth it. It will end as soon as she's got you.

Take a break, get mentally prepared for your surgery, and when you come to...start hitting on some nurses.

 

[waglockfan]

Consider yourself lucky that there are no children involved.
Enjoy your guns, they'll most likely end up costing you less to take care of than that rabid female.

 

[Camelfilter]

In situations like this, discussing relationship issues on an open forum with strangers, you have to take every response (including mine of course) with a grain of salt.

We don't know you or her, motives, feelings, or background. We're all just responding based on our own experiences, assumptions, and backgrounds. So she flew off the handle over politics. Maybe she regrets it now and would be willing to listen to your perspective, or maybe she's a hard-core leftist. We don't know, that's up to you to figure out, if you so choose.

The reason I say this is several years ago I was a listening ear for a good friend of mine who was going through a rough time. His wife left him, took the kids, got a restraining order; it was bad. I know her and her family very well; she's a wonderful person. I won't mention details, except that there was serious misunderstandings about motives and such, primarily brought on by a "friend" giving her bad advice that was based on her own past relationships. It nearly destroyed a family. They did get it worked out with time and counseling, and are doing great now. (The fault was mostly his, and he readily owned up to that.)

My point is that nobody really knows your situation except you, and take advice lightly because our assumptions could be totally wrong.

Absolutely take "advice" with grains of salt OP.

However, even with that being mentioned, a relationship is built upon open honesty. "Hiding" your 2A inalienable rights, for the sake of companionship & similarly her hiding the opinion that others rights do not matter does not seem to be honest in ya'lls relationship. IMO.

It'd be quite another matter if she opined lack of interest in said modern sporting arms, for ANY reason. Provided she recognized everyone else's RIGHT to have there own choice...