Do you know someone crazy? Like really crazy?

[clearconscience]

So I'm posting this because my dad is crazy.
To give you a little background my dad worked for the govt (secret govt) for 30 years working as a electrical technician for communications systems.
He worked all over the world, he's been in every continent and worked for this agency in the height of the cold war. They declassified his job 4 years after he retired in 1999.
Over the years since his retirement he's gotten into conspiracy theories, govt cover ups, and then to aliens. So to cut to the future he's gotten to the point that he spends his time on the run. He believes the aliens are working woth "dark forces", and the NWO folks trying to attack him and kill him.
He will get up in the middle of the night and drive to Cali or Idaho to get away from the "attack". He also has diabetes. He doesn't take insulin and doesn't exercise or eat right, so he's been having problems with his legs, poor circulation, pain, etc. He's lost a lot of weight, and so on. He believes the pain in his legs are the aliens attacking him. He's says he talks to god and he sometimes warns him when their going to attack.
I went out to visit him one weekend, he busted in my room at midnight and said their going to attack we gotta go........I almost shot him right there.

So now he will call out of no where and show up at my place and say he needs a place to stay for the night. This is highly disrespectful to myself and my girlfriend, but he's my dad, you know?

I don't know what to do. He's just killing himself slowly and now his girlfriend that is just as crazy as he is moved back in with him. That's a whole other story.
It's just sad to see everything he's done in his life come to this. He's got more money than he will ever spend and instead of living the good life he drives around all day and night like a mad man.

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[deadeye]

Sounds like it may come to the point that you need to have him committed. By that I mean having him declared incompetent to take care of himself and maybe then he could get the treatment he needs. Sounds rough but it may be the only option. He may just need to have the right meds and be back to normal and actually get healthy again.

 

[ZachS]

That sounds really terrible.

I have an old friend from when I was a teenager who's currently refusing treatment for schizophrenia. His thoughts are so scattered that it's impossible to have a real conversation with him. I just take him out for lunch and coffee whenever I'm in Portland for a while, let him walk around where he wants to walk around and sit where he wants to sit, and listen to his ramblings as best I can. He delusions about his family wanting to hurt him and the scary emails he sends his other friends have driven away pretty much everyone who cares about him, so I feel like the only thing left for me is to be as compassionate as I can.

I still worry about him a lot.

 

[Jamie6.5]

Wow that is a tough one. Blood sugar problems manifest themselves in different ways with different people. I once read an article about hypoglycemia that stated that many asylums that were running in the late 1800s and early 1900s could have been closed if medicos had understood blood sugar issues better.
Do your best to get him some help. I would approach it from the blood sugar issue, since he sounds paranoid.
You may find that once his blood sugar is stable that he calms down and goes back to being level headed.

My sympathies are with you.

 

[56kninja]

So I'm posting this because my dad is crazy.
To give you a little background my dad worked for the govt (secret govt) for 30 years working as a electrical technician for communications systems.
He worked all over the world, he's been in every continent and worked for this agency in the height of the cold war. They declassified his job 4 years after he retired in 1999.
Over the years since his retirement he's gotten into conspiracy theories, govt cover ups, and then to aliens. So to cut to the future he's gotten to the point that he spends his time on the run. He believes the aliens are working woth "dark forces", and the NWO folks trying to attack him and kill him.
He will get up in the middle of the night and drive to Cali or Idaho to get away from the "attack". He also has diabetes. He doesn't take insulin and doesn't exercise or eat right, so he's been having problems with his legs, poor circulation, pain, etc. He's lost a lot of weight, and so on. He believes the pain in his legs are the aliens attacking him. He's says he talks to god and he sometimes warns him when their going to attack.
I went out to visit him one weekend, he busted in my room at midnight and said their going to attack we gotta go........I almost shot him right there.

So now he will call out of no where and show up at my place and say he needs a place to stay for the night. This is highly disrespectful to myself and my girlfriend, but he's my dad, you know?

I don't know what to do. He's just killing himself slowly and now his girlfriend that is just as crazy as he is moved back in with him. That's a whole other story.
It's just sad to see everything he's done in his life come to this. He's got more money than he will ever spend and instead of living the good life he drives around all day and night like a mad man.

It sounds very sad. You should try to get him help from a mental institution.. but be very careful. He's dangerous to be around.. So either avoid him or try to get him evaluated. But be careful either way, especially if you know he's armed (But assume he is.)

All I can say, is that he sounds like he's declining mental health and will eventually harm somebody or himself unless he gets help.

 

[Sawz]

ClearConscience, I am no expert on this subject, but perhaps I can share a couple of things that I have been slowly learning the hard way. First and most important is that you may not be able to fix things, you may be able to help, or there might be nothing you can do to help your father no matter how hard you try. It's always a crapshoot. All reason and logic can fail. The Doctors and system can fail. The best you can do is to take care of yourself first. If you are effected and are in an unhealthy place you will be of no help to anyone. If your father becomes a danger to himself or others you will have hard decisions to make. It is a tough row to hoe and it would be easy if there were magic wands to wave. I would seek help from a therapist, friends and family. Therapists may be able to give you some insight and advise on how to best deal with your situation and can work with you to better help your father. Therapy is what I am just starting as I too need help dealing with a loved one. I am not a preachy therapy guy and never thought I would be there, but I found that I am lacking the tools to deal with someone, who I love, that is ill. It's a long road. If you try and persevere to the best of your abilities you will have some comfort. Stay healthy, best wishes and keep hoping for the best.

 

[Mutoman]

So I'm posting this because my dad is crazy.
To give you a little background my dad worked for the govt (secret govt) for 30 years working as a electrical technician for communications systems.
He worked all over the world, he's been in every continent and worked for this agency in the height of the cold war. They declassified his job 4 years after he retired in 1999.
Over the years since his retirement he's gotten into conspiracy theories, govt cover ups, and then to aliens. So to cut to the future he's gotten to the point that he spends his time on the run. He believes the aliens are working woth "dark forces", and the NWO folks trying to attack him and kill him.
He will get up in the middle of the night and drive to Cali or Idaho to get away from the "attack". He also has diabetes. He doesn't take insulin and doesn't exercise or eat right, so he's been having problems with his legs, poor circulation, pain, etc. He's lost a lot of weight, and so on. He believes the pain in his legs are the aliens attacking him. He's says he talks to god and he sometimes warns him when their going to attack.
I went out to visit him one weekend, he busted in my room at midnight and said their going to attack we gotta go........I almost shot him right there.

So now he will call out of no where and show up at my place and say he needs a place to stay for the night. This is highly disrespectful to myself and my girlfriend, but he's my dad, you know?

I don't know what to do. He's just killing himself slowly and now his girlfriend that is just as crazy as he is moved back in with him. That's a whole other story.
It's just sad to see everything he's done in his life come to this. He's got more money than he will ever spend and instead of living the good life he drives around all day and night like a mad man.

Sounds like some form of schizophrenia; however, you should try to get him to a doctor for diagnosis. There is hope, many schizophrenic people lead normal lives once they find medication that works for them and get into a new positive routine (I would keep him away from gun and survival forums for they tend to breed and attract conspiracy which can fuel schizophrenia).

My oldest sister lived on the streets of Eugene for over a year until her oldest son finally convinced her to take a trip with him to Seattle. They found a doctor who would actually come to his house to diagnose, treat, and administer meds. Diagnosed with schizophrenia, she wandered the streets thinking that her family were demons and that Wilie Nelson communicated with her telepathically. I once retrieved her from a trek to California where she was going to meet up with Willie, fortunately she picked a dead end road to begin her travels and I was able to find her within hours.

There is hope for your dad, but there is going to be a lot of work to get him to take the plunge. My advice is to seek professional help for yourself first to ready yourself for the battle. You shouldn't pick up a gun before learning safety and how it operates, you shouldn't travel the wilderness without learning some basic survival techniques, and you shouldn't begin a battle with mental health disorder without educating yourself on the strains and factors you will face.

Find a mental health counseling service in your area and give them a call, they should be able to lead you to local resources that will help.

good luck!

 

[Mutoman]

ClearConscience, I am no expert on this subject, but perhaps I can share a couple of things that I have been slowly learning the hard way. First and most important is that you may not be able to fix things, you may be able to help, or there might be nothing you can do to help your father no matter how hard you try. It's always a crapshoot. All reason and logic can fail. The Doctors and system can fail. The best you can do is to take care of yourself first. If you are effected and are in an unhealthy place you will be of no help to anyone. If your father becomes a danger to himself or others you will have hard decisions to make. It is a tough row to hoe and it would be easy if there were magic wands to wave. I would seek help from a therapist, friends and family. Therapists may be able to give you some insight and advise on how to best deal with your situation and can work with you to better help your father. Therapy is what I am just starting as I too need help dealing with a loved one. I am not a preachy therapy guy and never thought I would be there, but I found that I am lacking the tools to deal with someone, who I love, that is ill. It's a long road. If you try and persevere to the best of your abilities you will have some comfort. Stay healthy, best wishes and keep hoping for the best.

and take this guys advice!

 

[clearconscience]

This is pretty good advice. I've tried talking to him about his heaelth concerns and why may be happening to his body. However, everything that's wrong with him he caulks up to the aliens attacking him. And the people I've talked to say it's impossible to have him commited with out him presenting a danger to himself or others.
And they have driving all through the night. My dad has told me they both have fallen asleep at the wheel driving. Before his GF came back he fell asleep driving and crashed through a sign. He said the aliens got him and shut his brain down to get him.....I said you mean you fell asleep? No they got me....Ok dad......

He was pulled over by the police driving at 2am through town. They thought he was drunk because his blood sugar was low and he was half asleep. He carries a gun on him always, and they took the bullets out of his gun and sent him home in a cab. My grandpa lives near him, but my dad told him about all this and my gramps said "maybe you should go home and let them kill you" He's not the most loving person.
He shut him out of his life. So that's what I don't want. I figure if I at least give him a safe place to go he will come here and get some sleep.
A while ago his GF and himself thought they were going to transfer to another dimension, she told her co-workers and quit her job, sold all her stuff and they waited...The co-workers called the police and they came out and talked to them, but my dad has worked for the govt where he had to take lie detector tests every few months. He knows how not to sounds crazy.

He only talks about it with the family.

My biggest worry is I'm moving to Kentucky in July and he will hav eno where else to go. M brother won't put up with his craziness.
I try to call him once a week or so and make sure he's still alive, and to be honest at this point maybe he's better off to pass away and at least be at peace. I'm just afraid he's going to kill someone else falling asleep at the wheel.
I don't know whether his GF is just along for the free ride so she doesn't have to work, and she's trying to get a payday when he dies, or if she's really as crazy as he is.
It's really tough because my dad hasn't been in our lives since we were about 5 years old. In the last 23 years I've spent maybe a total of about 3 months with my dad.
I just try to help him a little at a time and give him a safe place to go. Try to talk some sense into him without pushing him away.

 

[duginsky]

ClearConscience, I am no expert on this subject, but perhaps I can share a couple of things that I have been slowly learning the hard way. First and most important is that you may not be able to fix things, you may be able to help, or there might be nothing you can do to help your father no matter how hard you try. It's always a crapshoot. All reason and logic can fail. The Doctors and system can fail. The best you can do is to take care of yourself first. If you are effected and are in an unhealthy place you will be of no help to anyone. If your father becomes a danger to himself or others you will have hard decisions to make. It is a tough row to hoe and it would be easy if there were magic wands to wave. I would seek help from a therapist, friends and family. Therapists may be able to give you some insight and advise on how to best deal with your situation and can work with you to better help your father. Therapy is what I am just starting as I too need help dealing with a loved one. I am not a preachy therapy guy and never thought I would be there, but I found that I am lacking the tools to deal with someone, who I love, that is ill. It's a long road. If you try and persevere to the best of your abilities you will have some comfort. Stay healthy, best wishes and keep hoping for the best.

Excellent, realistic advice. The laws are really about protecting civil liberties in cases like these, so it has to be clear that someone is: a danger to self or others, or cannot provide for their own basic needs. You can go the the county he resides in, and any 2 people, whether they know him or not, can file a 2-party petition for a mental health investigator to determine if he warrants a civil commitment hearing. If he is determined to not be able to provide for his own needs/danger to self or others, then he can be civilly committed for up to 180 days. Some counties give a little more latitude on this. Multnomah County is, ironically, very conservative on this and does not like to send people for hearings. Sadly, a lot of very ill people go untreated due to impaired insight and no grounds to treat them - admittedly, this is to protect their civil rights, but to put too fine a point on it, a lot of people are going around untreated, their lives in shambles. Take care of yourself and keep loving your dad. Logic will ultimately fail in psychosis.

 

[clearconscience]

It's hard to prove he's a danger. He had me come to him house so he could put me on his bank account and show me where his statements are his retirement, etc. He has more money than he knows what to do with, he pays all his bills in advance, he speaks very competently when in conversation with people he doesn't know.
It's one of those things sadly to say I'm waiting for him to get in a accident or something to have a reason to have him checked.
It's really hard to do that to him, As crazy as his life is, I would rather be living life crazy than strapped to a bed, filled with drugs.
I can't do that, unless he's really a danger,and at this point it's more just living an unhealthy lifestyle.
I feel like I have my back up against the wall. I try to talk to him and focus on his health, the weight he's lost, his leg pain and circulation, etc. I think at this point just helping him have a place to stay and actually sleep is the best thing I can do.
At least his GF will take turns driving so they each get a chance to sleep. before he would drive until he fell asleep then would sleep in the back of his truck. But it was Bend in winter. He definetly looks healthier now that he gets some sleep. I think he would be dead by now if she didn't move back.

 

[clearconscience]

It makes it really tough when my brother and I are drowning in debt, student loans and such, and my dad's has bookoo bucks and spends his time driving through the night running from aliens.
I'm getting married in July before we move and my dad told me he didn't know if he would be able to make it. They may try to get him there.......He's been a dad in the sense he donated sperm, and spent the first 5 years with us. As far as my brother is concerned, he doesn't care he knows when my dad passes he will be debt free and have a nice payday.
It's hard not to feel that way, but he's still our dad. I wish there was something more we (I) could do.
I'm going to talk to a therapist and see what they suggest.

Thanks,
CC

 

[SSG]

Your not really paranoid, if everyone REALLY IS out to get you.

 

[ZachS]

Your not really paranoid, if everyone REALLY IS out to get you.

How would you feel if you started a thread about your father suffering from a different kind of serious illness - cancer, say - and someone started telling jokes about it? Did you not just read the stories that we have told about the profound suffering that people near and dear to us experience (and cause) because of their delusions? I guarantee you there are many others who are reading that have chosen to keep their stories private, and probably even a few who've suffered from some sort of psychosis themselves.

Sure, that can be a funny joke. We've all heard it and laughed at it before, and will again. I'm not trying to be the PC police and tell you not to tell jokes about mental illness. I'm just pretty sure that you wouldn't be telling cancer jokes in a serious cancer thread. Please show the same respect here.

 

[Mutoman]

It makes it really tough when my brother and I are drowning in debt, student loans and such, and my dad's has bookoo bucks and spends his time driving through the night running from aliens.
I'm getting married in July before we move and my dad told me he didn't know if he would be able to make it. They may try to get him there.......He's been a dad in the sense he donated sperm, and spent the first 5 years with us. As far as my brother is concerned, he doesn't care he knows when my dad passes he will be debt free and have a nice payday.
It's hard not to feel that way, but he's still our dad. I wish there was something more we (I) could do.
I'm going to talk to a therapist and see what they suggest.

Thanks,
CC

You seem pretty honest about your feelings, which is a good first step. Its got to be tough knowing that your dad could be there to help you monetarily and emotionally, yet his illness keeps that part away from you. When you get a chance to talk to a therapist, maybe you could ask what he or she thinks about confronting your father with those needs; maybe it will help pull him around to getting some help.

 

[SSG]

Obviously your confilcted about your ratlionship with your father...might I suggest you endeavor to re-establish a better relationship with him, you can do this by finding some common ground...finding some way to communicate more effictively..

Next time you see him say this.. 'Klaacto Veratus Nicto'

 

[duginsky]

Next time you see him say this.. 'Klaacto Veratus Nicto'

again, not helpful or respectful

 

[Redcap]

again, not helpful or respectful

But hilarious!

 

[clearconscience]

Obviously your confilcted about your ratlionship with your father...might I suggest you endeavor to re-establish a better relationship with him, you can do this by finding some common ground...finding some way to communicate more effictively..

Next time you see him say this.. 'Klaacto Veratus Nicto'

If you get me shot, I'm going to be pissed!

The jokes are ok, my family and I hav edone a lot of that. At this point it's getting harder to do that
But it doesn't bother me. The best way to get through tough situations is through laughter. A close friend of mine has cancer, for the 2nd time in a year. And we joke often about it. It makes it easier to get through.
So don't feel bad about that.
It is tough, and I have tried to talk about things like my wedding, moving to Kentucky, etc but as soon as I start about something the subject changes to his perolous journey. My dad was the type who knows everything and has been through everything so I can't say anything without him having a story or changing the subject to himself. So having any type of conversation is damn near impossible.
I was engaged to my fiance for almost a year before he even mentioned it. I stayed with him for a weekend and he never once asked about my fiance, how life was going, how my job was, plans for the future, etc.
It doesn't so much upset me, but my brother had a lot more problems with childhood, being overweight, emotional trama, etc and all he wanted was a father that would ask if everything was ok, what could he do to help....In the 10 years or so wince he retired he never did that once. I feel worse for him. I'm indifferent. I don't expect anything because it's never had an issue, but I'm just afraid for his safety. I feel like I should be doing something.

 

[clearconscience]

Obviously your confilcted about your ratlionship with your father...might I suggest you endeavor to re-establish a better relationship with him, you can do this by finding some common ground...finding some way to communicate more effictively..

Next time you see him say this.. 'Klaacto Veratus Nicto'

I just looked this up and that is hilarious! And I'm sure he will know what it means. No surprise he's a huge Trekkie, babylon 5, you name it.