National Convicted Felon sits on his illegal handgun, and accidentaly blows his .... off

[U8395279]

A convicted felon living in Jacksonville, FL sat on his illegally owned handgun, which was laying on the driver's seat of his car.

Unfortunately for him, the gun discharged, shooting his penis. The wounded man was rushed to the hospital, where doctors worked on reconstructing his penis.

So guys, please DON'T EVER sit on your pistol. It might not go well for you.

Florida man sits on gun, shoots self in penis, police say

Florida man sits on gun, shoots himself in penis

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[Alexx1401]

Well it's great that he tried to make sure he can't make any copies of himself but, I doubt he is telling the whole story now. It would be a LOT more likely he was trying to stuff the gun in his pants and shot his dong.

 

[Certaindeaf]

This is why I'm glad I have a tiny little penis.

 

[Medic!]

Remember.

Guns and Viagra don't mix.

 

[Stomper]

This is why I'm glad I have a tiny little penis.

Death by tweezers for YOU!





Seriously though, I suspect he was told (while in the joint) that if you sat on a pistol long enough that it'd hatch and make more pistols.

 

[MrMillspecer]

He was trying to change the color to fde.

Must be some hemaroids to flip a safety. Or was it an unholstered Stryker ?

 

[Certaindeaf]

He was trying to change the color to fde.

Must be some hemaroids to flip a safety. Or was it an unholstered Stryker ?

"X" marks the.. dang, that'd still hurt.

 

[Stomper]

"X" marks the.. dang, that'd still hurt.

I can hear it now.... "uhhh, Doc? THAT'S not the bullet hole.... OUCH!!"

 

[MrMillspecer]

His new nickname is Stumpy.

 

[MrMillspecer]

He blew his head off and lived ?

 

[DirectDrive]

Takin the first leak after all that trauma must have been a beeotch.

 

[Stomper]

His new nickname is Stumpy.

If he blew his Dick off, his new name should be Jane....

Takin the first leak after all that trauma must have been a beeotch.

Since his name is now Jane, at least he would be sittin' to pee.

 

[DirectDrive]

"...and with one shot I'm going to change you from a rooster to a hen."

Dolly Parton 1980

 

[MrMillspecer]

He named his pistol Lorena. Big mistake.

 

[Stomper]

Probably called the boolits, "bobits".

 

[CHLChris]

And it was "Florida Man"? He really gets around doing stoopid crap all over the state!!

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[Alexx1401]

And it was "Florida Man"? He really gets around doing stoopid crap all over the state!!

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Must be something in the water down there. There is a lot of Youtubes of some clown getting tased for being drunk and driving stuff like a lawnmower and such.

 

[Certaindeaf]

Come on, guys.. it could be worse. It's not like a toothless chiuhauha gummed his bits off or something.

 

[jrd541280]

Was his name Bob Cox?

 

[v0lcom13sn0w]

another example of someone goin off half cocked