The Missus shook her head

[The Heretic]

I am sure some of this is meant in humor and guys aren't really punished by their wives - just joking that they are, but some of us have been through the 'trauma' of being in a relationship with a significant other who made our lives hell for at least some period of time. My ex still tortured me even after we separated with emotional abuse which I could not avoid if I wanted to still be in my daughter's life.

That said, I worry about her even now as her life in the last 5 years has gone in the toilet and we don't know where she is as we are not willing to be exposed to her behavior.

My point was that I just feel I am better off alone than with someone who won't let me live the way I want to.

 

[Vendor Hidden]

I am sure some of this is meant in humor and guys aren't really punished by their wives - just joking that they are, but some of us have been through the 'trauma' of being in a relationship with a significant other who made our lives hell for at least some period of time. My ex still tortured me even after we separated with emotional abuse which I could not avoid if I wanted to still be in my daughter's life.

That said, I worry about her even now as her life in the last 5 years has gone in the toilet and we don't know where she is as we are not willing to be exposed to her behavior.

My point was that I just feel I am better off alone than with someone who won't let me live the way I want to.

I completely understand your attitude, and I don't mean any disrespect by making light of man/woman relations. It sucks when a marriage falls apart. I hasn't happened to me, but I've seen it a few times in friends and relatives.

I got married when I was 30, so I had plenty of time to figure out the type of guy I was, and what type of woman would probably suit me. I'm not the best looking guy, so "BLIND" was at the top of my requirement list. Fortunately I ended up with a woman who can see just fine but possesses terrible judgment in men. I was fine with that.

 

[CHLChris]

I just joined recently, too, after hearing about Paul Carlson's predicament. I'm having a hard time getting through those videos, though. They are all pretty dry, which is fine for me. But it is like pulling teeth to get my wife to watch them with me, and I don't want to be the only prepared one in the house.

 

[Koda]

I just joined recently, too, after hearing about Paul Carlson's predicament. I'm having a hard time getting through those videos, though. They are all pretty dry, which is fine for me. But it is like pulling teeth to get my wife to watch them with me, and I don't want to be the only prepared one in the house.

the content is excellent, but I have to agree some of them were pretty dry. Slowly but surly you get thru them...

 

[ikemay]

I got off the phone with USAA who we use for insurance. We are covered in the event myself, my wife or both are involved in shooting someone in self defense. At least on our property we are, I also believe our deductible comes into play as well. This does include any suit associated with the original case. Now, I did forget to ask if that was for reimbursement or up front costs, I assume it is for reimbursement as it is insurance after all. However, I would imagine most attorneys would have no problem billing you and waiting for an insurance check. Though they might put a lean on your house or ask for some kind of deposit.

Also for an additional fee they will insure our firearms. For us it's an additional $109.00 a year above our other declared what they call "valuable personal property".

Ok, my thoughts on what Sigmadog did to the chagrin of his now forgiving but always lovely wife. Not that it matters what I think. LOL!

Even after calling USAA and finding we are covered through them, I (wife too) am still going to become a member of Armed Citizens Network. Why? Because they provide educational information, help you out financially upfront, get you bail money, and set you up with legal help immediately and expert testimony. This is all stuff I do not want to have to try to assemble after the fact. Also Armed Citizens Network does not hold back or deny assistance if you have another insurance plan. They simply ask that if you get reimbursed by your insurance company, that you give them back any money they fronted you, or gave you ....... 100% fair dinkum in my book.

So, Sigmadog thanks for bringing this up and taking the time to write down your reasons. Also thanks to the rest of you for your input, real world experience with other outfits is invaluable as well as opinions in general.

ps Sigmadog, glad you and your wife worked it out.

 

[mrorca]

Your problem is that you tried to explain to your wife in the first place.... Just do it... Its much easier if you don't try to convince her of anything either. You may not like it and leave soon or you may love it and be in a much better place to tell her what you like about it if you choose to let her know later. My wife and I rarely see eye to eye. We love each other and are a good match in a lot of things but its nice to get away and do my own thing once in a while. I usually just go out in the woods a long ways and go plinking. I consider it my alone time... I find it relaxing. Sometimes I will go out with my buddies as well but truth to tell I really don't like being around a lot of strangers with high power weapons

 

[Diamondback]

Rule #18: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.

 

[Koda]

Chinese proverb: woman who put man in dog house, soon find man in cat house...

 

[Goosebrown]

The Missus shook her head when I told her I joined the Armed Citizens Legal Defense Network (armedcitizensnetwork.org).

"Why would you do that? Are you planning on shooting someone?" She said it jokingly… sort of.

I confess I got a little irritated with her. I told her I was trying to be a responsible gun owner and concealed carrier. I said it's not enough to prepare for the unfortunate possibility of having to use my gun to protect our lives; I also need to be ready for what may come after. I've heard many horror stories of savings wiped out and lives ruined financially when innocent people were forced to defend themselves in the courtroom against aggressive and ambitious prosecutors (but I repeat myself).

"Yeah, but by joining that group, you've given the prosecutor a reason to question your motives; it's as if you were planning or hoping to shoot someone."

I gave her a couple seconds of icy silence.

"Well, then," I said, "we should just cancel our auto insurance. I mean, having insurance just looks like we are planning on getting in accidents. And our health insurance, too. Are you planning on getting seriously ill or hurt? Then cancel it. And we're not planning on burning our house down, so let's just get rid of our home insurance. And why are we saving money in a bank? What are we afraid of? We should pull it all out and stick it under our mattress."

She didn't say anything.

"Look," I said. "The world and society is getting crazier every day. Maybe I'm just getting old and paranoid. I know the chances are extremely small that I'll have to use my gun and then need legal help. Yet the chances are not zero. So I'm not going to carry, and possibly put myself in legal jeopardy without some kind of back-up.

"And I didn't buy my gun and get my concealed carry card in order to kill someone. I got it to keep me alive.

"By the way, I signed you up as a member as well."

That's how the conversation went.

And now I'm getting used to sleeping on the couch.

When does the wire come off the jaw?

 

[HB of CJ]

One of my ex lady friends hated guns and any and all aspects of such. I am not going to miss her. Sounds like you need to have some communicative discussions with your other half. Said otherwise, if possible, to explore and examine how and why things have gotten to the point where something that normally in a sane person would NOT provoke such a non logical emotional response ... has. Just me. Please do not take this wrong.

Or ... you need to decide. Respectfully.

 

[Vendor Hidden]

When does the wire come off the jaw?

Not sure, but I am looking forward to eating solid food someday.

 

[The Heretic]

Rule #18: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.

It is better to not have to ask permission at all.

Yeah, still a sore point with me, even after 30+ years - I just shake my head whenever I hear of someone having to ask permission to spend their own money. I know that marriage is a partnership - I know that all too well after having a partner who felt my role was to work and earn the money while her role was to spend it and not much more (who still feels that way after I divorced her 30+ years ago).

My philosophy is that if two (or more) adults are going to be in a household, once they have contributed their fair share to household expenses and other common goals, what they do with their own discretionary funds is not really a matter for debate. If I ever had an SO again, who will be independent enough to pay their share of expenses, then if she wants to buy a new sewing machine, or whatever with her discretionary funds, I have no say in that.

I am a very independent person. It is core to my life philosophy that I do NOT like other people telling me what I can and cannot do as long as I fulfill my obligations/responsibilities and I do not infringe on the rights of others. I do more than fulfill my responsibilities to others and I put aside over 30% of my gross income every year for my future retirement, and I owe nobody anything beyond my mortgage - so yeah, how much I spend on things like guns, motorcycles and other things I enjoy, and what I spend it on, is not up for debate by anybody.

 

[HB of CJ]

Mutual Profound Respect.

 

[The Heretic]

Mutual Profound Respect.

Or just the courtesy of letting an adult live their own life. We had a saying in the military; a person deserves courtesy, they earn respect. I may think a person is doing something stupid, I may not even respect them, but I allow any adult the courtesy of making their own life decisions as long as they harm no one else, fulfill their responsibilities and don't demand help from others when they fail.

I don't intrude into a person's life in that way until the money starts coming out of my pocket, then I may make suggestions about priorities and ways to cut expenses - or if they ask.

I am pretty frugal on many things, a something of spendthrift on others (toys). I don't spend hundreds on the latest smartphone & plans, I keep my cars around for 5 to 10 years until I *need* something new. I go out to eat maybe once a quarter. I buy 99 cent TV dinners for my work lunches. But I am not above spending $1K a month on guns & ammo stuff. Everyone has things that they like to spend money on, other things they pinch pennies on, it is when they get in over their heads that they have problems and need help. When you need help then you invite criticism, even if it is just mild suggestions.