I can relate in several ways:
Tho my dad hadn't had a gun since he was a kid, it was a terrible thing to witness his decline during terminal liver cancer. Tho he didn't mind dying at 85, he was estranged from my mom, I had to put him in a care facility (which he had always been terrified of having to do), and his wife of 60yrs never once reached out to him. He cried and cried. It was so hard to see this tough, strict, obstinent, domineering, unemotional man break down. Crap.
And my wife's dad died from Alzheimer's. One of her cousins died from Alzheimer's. Now my wife has dementia and is no longer the person I married. It's my turn to go thru being a caregiver to one that is suffering with dementia. I had to take her handguns away and tho I haven't removed guns completely from our home, it will eventually come to that.
Hang in there. Love is the answer. Swallowing our own emotions is necessary when dealing with the frustration and disappointment, but love is an emotion you can still let out. Tho it is hard sometimes for men to express love, there are other ways to show it, like not correcting their mistakes, not correcting their false stories, not challenging their poor judgement, not responding to their anger, etc, you get the picture. It's the real 'care" in caregiving of a dementia patient.... at least in the first stages. Also the connection and comfort of physical touch if he will allow any, even the smallest touch of a hand on the shoulder or back is a comforting connection.
Members here have been kind to me and reached out with offers to let me vent. There are also Alzheimer's support groups. I haven't gone to one yet, but I may in the future when it gets real bad.
All my best,
bb
Tho my dad hadn't had a gun since he was a kid, it was a terrible thing to witness his decline during terminal liver cancer. Tho he didn't mind dying at 85, he was estranged from my mom, I had to put him in a care facility (which he had always been terrified of having to do), and his wife of 60yrs never once reached out to him. He cried and cried. It was so hard to see this tough, strict, obstinent, domineering, unemotional man break down. Crap.
And my wife's dad died from Alzheimer's. One of her cousins died from Alzheimer's. Now my wife has dementia and is no longer the person I married. It's my turn to go thru being a caregiver to one that is suffering with dementia. I had to take her handguns away and tho I haven't removed guns completely from our home, it will eventually come to that.
Hang in there. Love is the answer. Swallowing our own emotions is necessary when dealing with the frustration and disappointment, but love is an emotion you can still let out. Tho it is hard sometimes for men to express love, there are other ways to show it, like not correcting their mistakes, not correcting their false stories, not challenging their poor judgement, not responding to their anger, etc, you get the picture. It's the real 'care" in caregiving of a dementia patient.... at least in the first stages. Also the connection and comfort of physical touch if he will allow any, even the smallest touch of a hand on the shoulder or back is a comforting connection.
Members here have been kind to me and reached out with offers to let me vent. There are also Alzheimer's support groups. I haven't gone to one yet, but I may in the future when it gets real bad.
All my best,
bb