Pain and being a dick?

[Member 34319]

You all are about the only people I talk to these days.

No secret I've been ill lately, I've been bringing it up more than ever.

I have no idea what is wrong. Been going to the doctor a lot to try and figure out what is wrong. That in itself isn't helping with my attitude!

I've been a grumpy as F… lately though. It is really dragging me down and I don't like it. Anyone here that has met me knows I'm not a downer.

Short story, I'm pretty sure Covid caused some sort of long term health problem or it at least brought it to the surface. I've been screened before and showed some signs of diverticulitis, that was about 5 years ago. I've had what feels like food get stuck in my bowel for years, it's usually a one night thing and it goes away.

Lately it's a 24/7 thing and it sucks!

Anyways, you all have always been good to me, for the most part, so I'm looking for advice on how not to be a dick.

I've noticed my attitude on a lot of things go negative and I'm aware of it. I'd like that to stop and if you all have something I should do or try I'm all ears.

Thanks!

Reno

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[Hop Sing]

First of all, good luck to you and I hope you and the doctors can soon get to the root of things. As Lawrence of Arabia once said about pain to an acquaintance: "The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts."

But it is one thing to ignore a stubbed finger, and another thing to deal with the unknown, and unfortunately, you are not only in pain, you don't know where it is coming from and that is very difficult to deal with for anyone.

So cut yourself some slack, take each day at a time, and hope this all ends soon.

 

[boattail]

I don't know you but I live in pain as well. I try to always remember that nobody can see your pain so I make a point of not projecting it. It's not easy but I manage. I do lose my cool at work on the idiots I deal with but not much more from the pain than them being idiots.

 

[Alexx1401]

Being ill SUCKS big time. Hoping the Docs can figure out what is going on and get you mended!

 

[Mikej]

I'm pretty much mad all the time too. But my issues are more from where we are because of the political thing. And loosing a stupid amount ( stupid to me any way) of money that I was counting on because of the leadership of the country. And the people that are all around me that condone and agree with it all. That money was what I got in exchange for having parents around a lot while growing up. They grew up in The Depression and all they knew was to work to stay ahead. I also have physical issues and a worn out body.

With all the illness that your family has been going through for the last year or so, have you ever thought about it being something to do with your house? You got hidden mold? Built over a former chemical dump? You've been there how long now?

I wish I had something more for ya'. I do know that being angry a lot takes it's toll and changes a person. Things a person has done in the past that bring pleasure stop sounding fun, and you stop doing them. Time passes and before you know it another year has gone by.
Feeling bubblegumty SUCKS. I was pretty miserable with a bum knee for around a month and a half. Couldn't walk straight up. Had to keep knee slightly bent when I walked and would turn in the night a light it off and hurt like hell. I know that mood.
Thinking of you and the fam.

 

[Tinman357]

R ENO, I'm right there with you and can empathize. Shattered an old plate in my hip Nov of '21. Still hurts every day. That really pegged my grumpy guy scale. All this on top of losing 2 children in 2020 has done a number on my normally stoic "leave me alone" demeanor. Now I'm like a rattlesnake with a sore neck.

Just mean and spapping at the wind. But I'm coming out the other side now. Days are brighter.

Hope the best for you!

 

[pharmseller]

I got nothing, except to congratulate you on your self awareness. At least you know you're being a dick, and it sounds like you have a reason. If you know, you can stop. The "how" is the hard part.
Tough love would say just because you're hurting doesn't give you license to hurt others. And if you know you're doing it, but you continue to do it despite the self awareness, you're just giving in to the dickiness.
Pain changes the rules, I get it. It's easy to snap at others when you're in pain.
Like I said, I got nothing. But if you know, you can stop.
If you want to, bad enough.

Google celiac disease.




P

 

[bradsteen]

Sorry to hear about your health issues, Reno. Understandable that you'd be irritable or short tempered with that going on.

Best advice I ever heard on how to avoid being a dick is "don't get mad, get curious". If someone says something that pisses you off, ask them to clarify their position. Something like "help me understand why you have that opinion". More often than not they simply didn't articulate their position correctly, or did not think through their position before speaking.

Along with that that, I find it helps when interacting with folks to remember Hanlon's Razor:

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

To be fair, some people are asshats and deserve what comes to them, but most are simply uninformed or inexperienced. We've all been there before, and if we can think of times we've done similar things or been similarly ignorant, it can help us temper our response in a more constructive way.

...or say "screw it" and let them have it with both barrels.



In all seriousness, thank you for being willing to self assess, and for having the courtesy to try to be a better communicator. As a fellow forum member I certainly appreciate it.

 

[Ruger Rich]

I'm 82 and there's not room enough to list all the chiet that's got ahold of me. I hope part of
your issue is not the lack of response from the present medical community. It's just plain
frustrating. My outlook on life ranges toward mental and physical being strongly connected.
I recently had a bout with RSV and it was ugly, really kicked my butt. I caught myself feeling
sorry for me and it made it worse. These things are easy to write about and difficult to put
in practice. Perhaps look deep and find the things most important to you, family, friends,
your belief system, hobbies and maybe a pet. There are always things to be thankful for.
Try and find a couple deep in your soul and heart. Use them to take a step up and get
satisfaction from it. I wish you well.

 

[arakboss]

At least you have excuse, some people were just born that way.

 

[JackFrost]

Have you thought about going to a naturopath doctor and getting an inflammation test? Most of the body's ailments can be traced to some sort of inflammation in the body. It's worth a few hundred dollars if insurance doesn't cover it.
As for the distemper? Print a picture of your least favorite liars aka politicians face, tack it to a wall and throw darts at it. Tai chai, praying (if you are religious at all), ever heard of ASMR? Try it, it's a great distraction from the daily slog!
Good luck, chronic pain and feeling lousy is absolutely miserable! I hope you find a solution ASAP!

 

[Member 34319]

I'm pretty much mad all the time too. But my issues are more from where we are because of the political thing. And loosing a stupid amount ( stupid to me any way) of money that I was counting on because of the leadership of the country. And the people that are all around me that condone and agree with it all. That money was what I got in exchange for having parents around a lot while growing up. They grew up in The Depression and all they knew was to work to stay ahead. I also have physical issues and a worn out body.

With all the illness that your family has been going through for the last year or so, have you ever thought about it being something to do with your house? You got hidden mold? Built over a former chemical dump? You've been there how long now?

I wish I had something more for ya'. I do know that being angry a lot takes it's toll and changes a person. Things a person has done in the past that bring pleasure stop sounding fun, and you stop doing them. Time passes and before you know it another year has gone by.
Feeling bubblegumty SUCKS. I was pretty miserable with a bum knee for around a month and a half. Couldn't walk straight up. Had to keep knee slightly bent when I walked and would turn in the night a light it off and hurt like hell. I know that mood.
Thinking of you and the fam.

I didn't think to look at the house but I will keep this on my mind if nothing comes of the doctors testing and such.

 

[Member 34319]

I got nothing, except to congratulate you on your self awareness. At least you know you're being a dick, and it sounds like you have a reason. If you know, you can stop. The "how" is the hard part.
Tough love would say just because you're hurting doesn't give you license to hurt others. And if you know you're doing it, but you continue to do it despite the self awareness, you're just giving in to the dickiness.
Pain changes the rules, I get it. It's easy to snap at others when you're in pain.
Like I said, I got nothing. But if you know, you can stop.
If you want to, bad enough.

Google celiac disease.




P

I'm definitely aware of it. I catch myself just about every time I get a bit over the edge. I'm apologizing a lot to those closest to me. I definitely don't believe I'm into it. I am bothered at how easy it has become angry, as if my bodies way to deal with pain is anger. Why couldn't it be zen like? (Totally rhetorical question)

 

[Hemlock]

I hear you talking. I don't like doctors. Had to go for the insurance mandated check-up last week, and I have been agonizing since Dec 1st last year. These young punk doctors just want to scare you about your health. What ever happened to a good bed side manor. Gees I'm not stupid. Just talk to me and tell me how things are. Seems like they need to give you more drugs or they aren't doing their job. They must need more kick-back money to buy that new Tesla.
Anyway, to try and be less grumpy, I shut off all the news channels and only watch TV news for the weather or I check it online. The political atmosphere is the downer. And I hate to say it, but when visiting blog sites stay in the shooting threads.
There, that's my soap box.

 

[Member 34319]

Have you thought about going to a naturopath doctor and getting an inflammation test? Most of the body's ailments can be traced to some sort of inflammation in the body. It's worth a few hundred dollars if insurance doesn't cover it.
As for the distemper? Print a picture of your least favorite liars aka politicians face, tack it to a wall and throw darts at it. Tai chai, praying (if you are religious at all), ever heard of ASMR? Try it, it's a great distraction from the daily slog!
Good luck, chronic pain and feeling lousy is absolutely miserable! I hope you find a solution ASAP!

Wife brought up natural path. She did this and for the kiddo too. I might in time. I like that it's available and an option to use if the medical realm fails me. I always thought it was voodoo magic BS, but I've since met people who have cured themselves through nutrition based corrections vs whatever is in the drugs they give you at the hospital. For example I recently learned acetaminophen is made from coal tar. It's a harmless chemical, but it's made from something pretty toxic.

 

[Aero Denezol]

I think a lot of us are walking around beat up and in pain.

One thing that helps is losing weight. I started to drink a lot more water, eat less, and take fiber supplements every day. I had to do this after my kidney stone surgery (never want to go through that again) and it has reduced my discomfort and pain somewhat.

I'm pretty much mad all the time too. But my issues are more from where we are because of the political thing.

Shooting and working on guns is one of the few things aside from wife that I absolutely love. When I am at the range I feel at peace. I am @Mikej like you tired of being blamed and punished for everything meanwhile heaps of BS are routinely being tolerated from others.

 

[SonicBlue03]

At least you have excuse, some people were just born that way.

That's why they're mods.

 

[slimmer13]

You all are about the only people I talk to these days.

No secret I've been ill lately, I've been bringing it up more than ever.

I have no idea what is wrong. Been going to the doctor a lot to try and figure out what is wrong. That in itself isn't helping with my attitude!

I've been a grumpy as F… lately though. It is really dragging me down and I don't like it. Anyone here that has met me knows I'm not a downer.

Short story, I'm pretty sure Covid caused some sort of long term health problem or it at least brought it to the surface. I've been screened before and showed some signs of diverticulitis, that was about 5 years ago. I've had what feels like food get stuck in my bowel for years, it's usually a one night thing and it goes away.

Lately it's a 24/7 thing and it sucks!

Anyways, you all have always been good to me, for the most part, so I'm looking for advice on how not to be a dick.

I've noticed my attitude on a lot of things go negative and I'm aware of it. I'd like that to stop and if you all have something I should do or try I'm all ears.

Thanks!

Reno

From people I know that have gone through similar things, what you're describing sure sounds auto immune.

 

[rgold1963]

My stepson is going through the exact same thing as you right now. Been to the ER twice and has had dozens of tests run all coming back negative. He went through it about a year ago with no definitive answer either and has since gone gluten free on the recommendation of a nutirtionist since he was showing all the signs of Celiacs. That has helped tremendously up until this last episode which seems like gall stones but test say it's not. Severe pain upper right side ribs.
Funny you mention Covid as both my stepson and I were both given Covid at the same time from a worker we were training and have had several mysterious things happen since then. Shows up with no warning, causes sever pain then vanishes as quick as it showed up after a week or two. I had the exact thing my stepson is going through right now late last year. Woke up in the middle of the night with crazy pain in the area of my gall bladder/liver but no other symptoms that would be associated with either things being an issue. Didn't sleep for almost a week the pain was so bad(and yes, I was a dick to everyone because of the pain!) I am as anti-doctor as they come so just toughed it out and never went in. A month or so before that, I got up from my desk and thought I had broken my big toe somehow but hadn't hit or smashed it. The pain was intense and my toe and foot became so swollen I couldn't put a shoe on for a few days. Hurt for a couple of weeks and everyone thought it was gout but no other symptoms and I have none of the usual habits that might cause it. Went away as fast as it showed up and has not happened again. Before that one, I had the same type of thing but in my hand. Again, no explanation as to why. I am convinced it has something to with the damn Covid virus. It's been a year and a half since I got Covid and I still have no sense of smell and am not sure if it will ever return but I can live with that since it's pain free!

 

[Member 34319]

From people I know that have gone through similar things, what you're describing sure sounds auto immune.

Not too sure. It could very well be. I have been looking back at a lot of the episodes I have had and discounted over the years and I'm thinking I've probably had something all along and age and or recent viral infections brought it to the surface.