How to build better nerves?

[308]

My body hurts, my back hurts constantly

That's a tough one even without kids. My last job about 7-months ago I was humping a 30lb pack around buildings with a ladder and test equipment and my neck and shoulders hurt all the time. The only thing that helped was making sure I stayed hydrated and ate properly, but that is not so easy on construction sites, and when one is in the middle of a test.

Now with kids it's a lot harder, but I'm feeling the same way. I'm miserable, mad, and have no patience all the time

Now this one is something I have put serious thought to. When I was younger and striving for better things, feeding kids and paying bills the stress was high. The new coffee table got hotwheel car groves "accidentally"...the new Explorer got a dent from a golf club put there by a little boy. After they grew up and left I realized all that crap DID NOT MATTER FOR "BUBBLEGUM"...what mattered was having a relationship with the kids and my wife...that is what mattered. I was able to manage the relationship with the kids, but not the wife.

Now that my life is restored, I strive to keep a good relationship with my new wife. And also now that grandkids are around, I could care less if they accidentally scratch something, or break something. There is nothing in the "world" more important to me than having a good and loving relationship with my family.

It's a hard lesson...stuff does not matter.

 

[clearconscience]

I'm trying to learn that. I'm trying to get better at patience with my kids. Having a 9mth old and a 3 1/2 YO I pick them up from daycare in different places then my wofe is usually home late. So after a day of my body hurting and my workplace being stressful and toxic having to feed kids get them in bed and deal with a 3 1/2 year olds drama. My patience is shot.

I get more at mad myself than anything. That adds more stress.

And I hear you on the marital stress. That's a tough one with stressful work and young kids you just don't have time or patience for each other.

So I know I need to start working out again. Just need to find the time.

But hunting season is coming! Now if I can find time to get out in the woods!

 

[aikikenjitsu]

Actually in good and bad times, practicing my martial arts, in air, hitting the bag, doing joint locks in air, ground techniques in air. After an hour of sweat, I feel much calmer. Everyone needs a release from life, even if it's temporary. Do Kenpo karate is like meditation, in that you think of nothing else except doing the techniques properly. We all need an outlet from our stress, this is mine.
Sifu

 

[wired]

OK. I'll be that guy. This is a shooting oriented firearms forum. Go shooting. Nothing , and I mean noting clears my head and removes the funk like a few hours target shooting. If you want to break the cycle of concentrating on your problems a few hours concentrating on tearing the center out of a target or making a tin can dance is an ideal way. Call it target therapy .

 

[Flopsweat]

OK. I'll be that guy. This is a shooting oriented firearms forum. Go shooting. Nothing , and I mean noting clears my head and removes the funk like a few hours target shooting. If you want to break the cycle of concentrating on your problems a few hours concentrating on tearing the center out of a target or making a tin can dance is an ideal way. Call it target therapy or shooting.

I have this sweet little CZ452 (22 bolt action rifle) that is so much fun to bench shoot at 50 or 100 yards. So peaceful, so relaxing. The more relaxed you are the better you shoot it.

 

[Nick Burkhardt]

I have a tenant/former tenant that is disputing their deposit refund. They lie in every email and text. I have proof they left behind all kinds of stuff, a pool, BBQ, etc. and yet even via email they claim they never left any such thing behind. They instead claim I told them I would give them a refund, etc.

While I logically know I have a mountain of evidence against these people, I get really stressed out about it. I suppose the potential to be sued for BS reasons would make anyone stressed out while in a high paying/demand job, full time MBA program and four rentals, but still. How can I be more balanced? Nerves of steel so to speak? That fearless calm?

Ex tenants with too much time on their hands can be very costly. Try to reach what they might think is a fair settlement to both parties. Remind them if they bring a frivolous suit that gets thrown out then you can ask the judge to award you legal costs.

As a former landlord, I found it just easier to give the ex tenant their deposit back and save myself the grief of dealing with lawyers, as that always cost me more in the long run.
There's too many ways an ex tenant can wrangle free legal help and the courts are generally pro tenant.

Agreed

Your Time + Your Health > Money

 

[Squidly]

Fully agree with jbett98 & Nick Burkhardt. Rentals are a PIA on the best days. When you're over loaded, sometimes you have to decide when to cut your losses.

To deal with future problems, this is a good resource for forms & back ground checks:

Rental Housing Alliance Oregon

They saved my butt a few times. Pay the money. Do the screening. The money you spend up front will save $$$ in the long run.

I am a member. I receive no compensation for this post.