How to build better nerves?

[cooper]

While some stress is unavoidable, some is also self-inflicted. For someone who sees themselves as having trouble dealing with it, the self-inflicted stress should be adamantly avoided. Case-in-point- your rentals. Having rentals is stressful, there is no doubt. Perhaps you should consider investing in something else?? I have three rentals myself so I know what you are talking about. I have a couple of ideas that can aid your current situation if you want them, and may make things simpler in the future too. As far as your work situation, injustice and insanity are part of dealing with other people. In the end you were right and you were vindicated. Try to keep that as a soothing mantra whenever things get too stressful.

Or

Stress Management
Picture yourself near a stream.

Birds are singing in the crisp, cool mountain air.

Nothing can bother you here.

No one knows this secret place.

You are in total seclusion from that place called the world.

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is clear.

You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.

There now, feeling better?

I know I can do this!! Bet you can too!

I feel better already....i was taught "wise mind" its the middle of rational and emotional decision making. Too far either way...plays hell with ya. Gotta keep my stress/obsticals close and in focus you let em get away from ya and they start looking bigger than they are.
THANKS FOR STRESS MANAGEMENT EXERCISE GUYS 4 count helps immensely

 

[aikikenjitsu]

How do you suggest one builds better nerves? I've been through self defense situations and lawsuits, and came out on top. I feel I either have PTSD or am aware of the dangers out there and the reality of how easily it can happen.

So how do I get better nerves? As a result of my encounters, I now have surveillance in and outside my home, a dual sided dash cam, several body cams for different purposes, etc. I'm prepared with evidence.

Case in point, I have a tenant/former tenant that is disputing their deposit refund. They lie in every email and text. I have proof they left behind all kinds of stuff, a pool, BBQ, etc. and yet even via email they claim they never left any such thing behind. They instead claim I told them I would give them a refund, etc.

While I logically know I have a mountain of evidence against these people, I get really stressed out about it. I suppose the potential to be sued for BS reasons would make anyone stressed out while in a high paying/demand job, full time MBA program and four rentals, but still. How can I be more balanced? Nerves of steel so to speak? That fearless calm?

 

[aikikenjitsu]

I have real PTSS. Sell your rentals and move to another place. If you don't, you secretly enjoy your present life problems.
Sifu

 

[Medic!]

Death calms us all down.

Problem is. If you don't figure out some way to chill? Death comes much sooner.

 

[DirtyBird]

I don't know if "enjoy" is the right word to use, but I feel like I've gotten something out of reading this thread. Lots of good advice here.

I also have a high-stress job, with middling to fair compensation. On bad nights, the job follows me home. I'll find myself stewing on this or that - even while I have my feet up, a beer in my hand, the TV on, and my arm around my hot little wife. Usually I notice I'm keyed up by the way I'm breathing - fast and shallow. I find some breathing exercises, deep and slow, deep and slow, really helps to slow my roll. I feel goofy doing it, but it works for me. Slows my heart, increases my oxygen saturation, and gives me something to concentrate on.

At work, I also practice the saying "fake it till you make it." If you want to project an air of calm, assured competence, start acting like what you think a calm, assured, and competent person acts like. At first, you'll feel like a big old faker. As time goes by though, it'll feel less like an act. And it'll get reinforced as folks around you come to perceive you as that calm, assured, competent person.

I also find working with my hands pretty rewarding. I try to keep a gun-related project or two in process at all times. I also live in an old house, so I'm blessed (?) with plenty of home improvement projects.

Life is often hard. I think all of us feel like we're not living up to the standards we set for ourselves, at least sometimes. When you don't meet those standards, or don't feel or act like you think you should, it's easy to get to beating up on yourself. OP, I hope you find some stuff that works for you. And good luck with those crappy tenants!

 

[billdeserthills]

Take your cod liver oil

 

[Sgt Nambu]

I haven't read all of the posts yet, but I will, it's time for my old people nap now! But, a couple of thoughts.

1. They can't execute you for what I'll call "paper stuff!"
2. Do you get enough exercise, especially aerobics?
3. Ditto on your diet? These things are important to your feeling of wellbeing!
4. As mentioned above, learn some meditation techniques. I've had to learn them for pain, and believe me they help with both pain and stress!
5. It's good that you are seeking help and advice. Stress can kill you!
6. You've just asked a vast network for advice. We are all pulling for you, know that! A number of folks have said that they would talk to you if you want! Feel free to PM me, I hold no special knowledge other than age and life experience, but like the others I'd be happy to be a sounding board! A burden, shared, generally becomes half as heavy!

I wish you the very best success on your quest for happiness! SRG

 

[michaeljr]

Jiu jitsu or judo. Not for self defense, although either one of those does a great job, lets be honest...we carry guns for that.

That being said, both of those arts create stressful situations that require complete focus for progression and 'survival'. For some, they are born with it. It is something learned for others, and the mat is a good place to get started. It will teach you how to get past the fight or flight response, and control the situation on your terms. It will change the way you go about your daily life 100%.

 

[Scratchingpost]

Stress goes hand and hand with being a man. I had one employee that spoke terribly to our Clients, always had an excuse, blamed everyone else, spoke gruffly and when asked about it all he got in my face and told me he was that way because he was a real man, I kid you not.

I told him that a real man is one that humbles himself before God and mankind, then I fired him.

Who has the most stress now?

 

[Ura-Ki]

Lots of really sound advice here for you to consider! I would second what SgtNambu posted, if you wish, you can message and I can offer help/things that work for me! Stress and angst can kill you, No joke, heart attacks and or strokes can happen, not to mention stomach troubles, and sleep deprivation! 308 posted something very important, Please go back and read again, he tells it true!

 

[Sgt Nambu]

Sounds like you are suffereing from hyper vigilance whether real or self induced, only you know.

Are you afraid? Fear is usually a lie based upon something that has not yet happened and therefore is not based upon reality...it is only imagined. When fear and hyper vigilance rear their ugly head the brain dumps neuro chemicals to help us cope. Over time our body becomes depleted and nervousness is the first reault usually followed by depression. During depression the body attempts to recover and reproduce those lost neurochemicals. This takes energy and that is why the body ramps down. In this phase of recovery, the body needs good food...not junk, however, most tend to go for the quick fix of caffeine, sugars, energy drinks etc which have a negative effect.

The hard part is recognizing the neuro chemical dump as it begins...it is easy to feel...like adrenaline. It is easy to react, but what we need to do is respond. When we respond it is a conscious act of recognizing, and redirecting. It is the time to go relax, mediate, have prayer, veg out but not self medicate...that is a negative.

You have to feel it to heal it.

This is very good! True dat, and if you have a vivid imagination even more so! Trust me on this!

 

[Scratchingpost]

This is very good! True dat, and if you have a vivid imagination even more so! Trust me on this!

And those of us that prepare for a worse case scenario do tend to have vivid imaginations. At least that's what I'm told we are training for. Condition yellow is very common here, but considered lunacy by some that have no worries. Fear? Yep that'll do it too, although I find that it's a great motivator as well as healthy way to help guide me through this crazy place......a fear of doing wrong in Gods eyes.

I have read through all of the replies and feel proud to be associated with a group of real men reaching out to help one another.

 

[aikikenjitsu]

Jiu jitsu or judo. Not for self defense, although either one of those does a great job, lets be honest...we carry guns for that.

That being said, both of those arts create stressful situations that require complete focus for progression and 'survival'. For some, they are born with it. It is something learned for others, and the mat is a good place to get started. It will teach you how to get past the fight or flight response, and control the situation on your terms. It will change the way you go about your daily life 100%.

So true. Can I brag? I've been in martial arts, learning and teaching for forty years. We always wonder if our art would work in real life. I'm not a fighter, really. I'm soft natured, so I never start any fights and I walk away from anything tense. But in a long life, it was bound to happen. I've been "attacked" four times in my life and i can say beyond any doubt, if you pick a martial art and study it for a few years and always practice it for the rest of your life, it will save your life in a physical conflict. All martial arts work, the problem lies in that you must pick the correct one that is made for your deposition and physical makeup.
That said, I can still kick bubblegum, but I'm no fool, I carry. If I'm out numbered, in a flash I pull my little friend out and that usually breaks the party up. I'm a small guy 5'2", so I carry small guns, .380, NAA .22 magnum and the tiny NAA .22lr, which is half the size of a pen.
True story: Two guys knock the door open to a old man's house. He's about eighty. He's on the floor as they kick the crap out of him. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the tiny NAA .22lr revolver and peppers them. They scream and bolt out the door. One was arrested at a hospital ER.
Sifu

 

[clearconscience]

It's not the burdens of today that haunt you. It's the regret of yesterday, and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves that rob us of today.

Working out will help you more than you could imagine. It's proven science. Exercise releases endorphins. You will naturally feel better, and be more confident.

Eat better too, it will give you more energy and not weigh you down. Smaller meals thoroughout the day. 4-5 meals a day. Cut out sugars, alcohol/nicotine.

30-45 mins a day of working out will make a big difference. That stress will work it's way out in sweat and exersion.

And get out of town. Go in the woods for a hike/walk.

It's amazing how relaxed and free you feel removing yourself from the everyday routine you have. You get out in the woods away from work, people, electronics and you forget about that stress.

 

[Ura-Ki]

I actually follow much of what clearconscience posted for dealing with PTSD and other stress, I Go out and hike my mountain, find a good spot with a view and just chill and clear your mind of all thoughts! The exercise really helps a lot as well, and a little time behind the butt can really focus your thoughts on things! Actually, any hobby that gets you to focus your thoughts is really good for you! I find when I get to my favorite spot on my Mountain, if I let it all out, shout some cry some, rage some, think some, I find it really releases those pent up things in my head and allows me to find my calm!

 

[x2ndxall]

 

[Medic!]

View attachment 315664

Never the answer.
Only brings more questions.

 

[Sstrand]

Ura-Ki
Who listens to SOUND advice!?!?!?!? Or, sees the HAND-WRITING on the wall??

Sheldon

 

[clearconscience]

Back when I was going through some crap in my life I turned to being active.
I was single so it was easy.

But I would ride my bike after work down some trails, probably put in 45-60 miles a week and would workout daily.
It helped a lot to get that energy out in a positive way.


Now with kids it's a lot harder, but I'm feeling the same way. I'm miserable, mad, and have no patience all the time.
My body hurts, my back hurts constantly. I know it would be much better if I got some strength back, but with two young kids it's really hard

 

[lowly monk]

I just read this whole thread. Iv'e been a spaz my whole life! 32 years of tai chi chuan keeps me in balance but I still have to constantly keep myself in check. My hands shake with zest for life! My instructor told me I may never "get it". There are a lot of herbal tea remedies for calming. Oh I also have been in property management/maintenance for 30 years. Now I have a management company handle the business aspect and I fix things. Now Im going to go target shoot. Thanks everyone.