HOA Stories. Whatcha got?

[Member 34319]

One of your neighbors went on a vacation for 2 weeks. When they got back they had a notice taped to their door with a picture of a few weeds (dandelions) that sprouted up while they were gone.

Lol.

I get a kick out of it. We are a small housing section. On 26 in the HOA, right next to a non HOA housing area. I'm still surprised that we haven't joined forces with the newer houses that have been built since, also HOA. There are something like 5 different HOAs for roughly 100 homes in our area.

My favorite...

When we first started out the HOA management company was leaving love notes on the homes that were not part of the HOA for numerous violations. It was funny as all hell hearing the complaints at our meeting from two residents of said non HOA homes.

 

[Gbirk]

Unless one of the HOA board members is an attorny, just let them know you will be taking it to court. Most HOAs don't have the funds to fight anything and will back off unless it is a huge issue.

 

[AMT]

I've had people come by and state "How did you get that in your backyard?" (Pointing to our shop).

I said that I filled out the "permission form" and said I was going to do it. (on the top of the form it says "request". I crossed it out, and filled out the form stating what I was going to do.) It was approved and now they can pound sand even if it can be seen from the street!

 

[AMT]

Lol.

I get a kick out of it. We are a small housing section. On 26 in the HOA, right next to a non HOA housing area. I'm still surprised that we haven't joined forces with the newer houses that have been built since, also HOA. There are something like 5 different HOAs for roughly 100 homes in our area.

My favorite...

When we first started out the HOA management company was leaving love notes on the homes that were not part of the HOA for numerous violations. It was funny as all hell hearing the complaints at our meeting from two residents of said non HOA homes.

There are 7 different (yes, different) CC&R's in our housing community. The entire HOA (430? homes) were built in 7 different phases. Each phase has a slightly different CC&R.

 

[Kruel J]

@AMT I'm surprised they even TRY and come after you at this point. Sounds like you've shot 'em down more than enough times for them to learn!

 

[AMT]

@AMT I'm surprised they even TRY and come after you at this point. Sounds like you've shot 'em down more than enough times for them to learn!

The manager who lives 4 houses from me is "technically" no longer the manager. Most of this happened while she was the manager.

She is a nice gal, and I like her husband and their little dog. She even mentioned, after she was no longer the manager, that they stopped dealing with me because they knew they (the committee) was wrong on so many instances.

The gal I know who is still on the committee, will call me every so often and ask "______, now what it going on?"

I explain and never hear from anyone again.

I'm not mean or an a_s, I am like most people on here. I can't tolerate stupidity.

They say there are basically 2 types of people in this world. Stupid people and ignorant people. I consider myself ignorant, as I am ignorant to a lot of things. I don't consider myself stupid. I learn real quick.

 

[Member 34319]

There are 7 different (yes, different) CC&R's in our housing community. The entire HOA (430? homes) were built in 7 different phases. Each phase has a slightly different CC&R.

Ya, with the amount of homes within our HOA I've been fighting to eliminate it. The worst part is we, the HOA, own property that isn't part of the city due to the lot designer getting as many homes into a tiny space as possible.

 

[Geardo]

I got fined for a few dog poop bags in my yard, so I drove around documenting all the trash in the neighborhood, made a PDF, and sent it to the HOA. Along with some Ahole phone calls and they dropped it. Same thing for leaving my trash cans out 1 extra day.

 

[Timbertodd]

And this thread is why the wife and I will never buy a house with an HOA.

 

[AMT]

Oh, one other time, I could have gotten in trouble because of technicalities.....

We had a pecker-bird pecking on our house one year. (I don't know the species name. It is jet black and has a yellow beak. I call it a pecker-bird because it was pecking on everything.). It was pecking through the roofing shingles in 3 different areas and started pecking on the side of our house, the gutter, the chimney bricks (stupid bird!), and the metal chimney cover. It would start pecking just before sunrise - even on the weekends.

Come to find out it wasn't being malicious, it is something that the species does to attract a mate. But the stupid thing picked our house!

So, one morning after being fed up with the damage and being woken up so gawd awful early, I made me a pot of coffee, grabbed my air rifle, and sat outside waiting. I gotta tell ya, it was a smart bird. Every time I moved, it would fly away. Then would come back when he thought the coast was clear.

So, there I am. Sitting in a camping chair in the middle of our back yard. A cup of coffee setting in the cup holder in the chair. The air rifle was set against my shoulder and I was ready to go. The danged thing never came back.

2 minutes after pack up everything and heading into the house, it came back!

I snuck up on it and with ninja like speed and accuracy I popped the SOB! It rolled down my roof and into the gutter. So, I grab a ladder and climb up on the roof. After scooting down to it, I got it and threw it out onto the ground. THUD!

The neighbor lady came out and asked what was going on. I told her. She was PO'd as she is a bird person and used to feed the danged things. SHE WAS BAITING THEM!!!!

The following day I get a no-no letter from the HOA stating that they were pretty sure that shooting animals was against the HOA. And if they could find the CC&R against it, that they were going to notify the authorities.

Well, here I am realizing that I may have "technically" broke the law.

So I get a second letter that it couldn't be found in the CC&R's but found that it was illegal to discharge a firearm in Vancouver.

The next day I see a patrol car pull up in front of my house. I get proactive and grab my shoes and go out and meet the officer. He's got a smirk on his face. I'm thinking "great, I walked right out to him to get cuffed and stuffed." He mentions that there were a couple complaints that I am running around the neighborhood discharging a firearm. Asks me if I know anything about it.

I explain what was going on. EVERYTHING! Including me not getting to sleep in on the weekends, sitting in the backyard at the ready, the damage that dang thing did. EVERYTHING. He's chuckling pretty good my now.

He then states that I really shouldn't be pointing a rifle at someone's house and firing it. I walked him to the backyard and showed him where I was sitting and aiming. He smiled.

He then says that it is "technically" against the law to discharge a firearm inside the city limits, and explained that he isn't sure were the city limits are technically located "in this area".

Well, I am "technically" in Ridgefield, with a Ridgefield address. I mentioned that I am fairly certain that Ridgefield city limits don't extend to where we are.

He looks at me funny. He then asks, where are we? I asked him to wait a second while I go grab one of my bills. I show it to him. He says "this is Ridgefield?" I say "yup". Then I tell him where Vanc. and Ridgefield limits are.

He says, he'll finish his report and explain that I was no where near city limits. He says have a nice day and hope the bird didn't cause too much damage.

Needless to say, I explain to the neighbor lady what happened. Her Schmidt-eating grin left her face rather quickly.

We were never "neighborly" after that incident.

The HOA never said anything after that either.

 

[Gbirk]

Oh, one other time, I could have gotten in trouble because of technicalities.....

We had a pecker-bird pecking on our house one year. (I don't know the species name. It is jet black and has a yellow beak. I call it a pecker-bird because it was pecking on everything.). It was pecking through the roofing shingles in 3 different areas and started pecking on the side of our house, the gutter, the chimney bricks (stupid bird!), and the metal chimney cover. It would start pecking just before sunrise - even on the weekends.

Flicker is the bird. I took out the one that was putting holes in our house with a pellet gun. Probably was not the best idea to be sneaking around my house at 6am in underwear and a t-shirt trying to kill it. neighbors probably should have called the cops on me.

 

[AMT]

I remember when we first moved in that the CC&R were very specific that absolutely NO satellite dishes were to be used in the HOA. (At this time, it was the huge 6-8 foot dishes).

Well, a couple moved in up the road from us. Nice couple. First thing they did was install one of the "smaller" satellite dishes on the roof of their house. (you know, they ones they have now. ~18-24").

The HOA committee pencil-head went up to the dish installer and told him to stop immediately. He then proceeded to read the new owners the riot act about being in violation of the HOA CC&R's, etc.

They politely told the dish guy to continue installation that NO ONE had the right to come onto their property and tell him what to do, expect the people who hired him.

They them turned to the HOA slug and told him that they would see him in court, and to get off their property immediately.

Needless to say, our beloved HOA contacted the attorney they have on retainer and had the attorney draft a letter.

The couple politely called the attorney and set up a meeting with them.

The HOA was then notified by their own attorney that they could NOT dictate homes NOT have a satellite antennae. That the HOA CC&R's need to be amended immediately.

The original members of the HOA were PO'd. Demanded to know why.

I guess absolutely no one (no HOA) can direct it's "members" on how they will receive notification via the "Emergency Broadcast Service". And that anything that obstructed such notifications were against Federal law.

Chalk up another one for those against HOA nazi's...

 

[AMT]

Flicker is the bird. I took out the one that was putting holes in our house with a pellet gun. Probably was not the best idea to be sneaking around my house at 6am in underwear and a t-shirt trying to kill it. neighbors probably should have called the cops on me.

THEN YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT !!!!

 

[Tarawa86]

Well, on the plus side for me is that none of my neighbors have cars/trucks sitting up on blocks (blue tarp optional) in the driveway, huge RV's, boats, box trucks or construction equipment+trailers parked in the street, and last but not least no pink or purple houses. As I mentioned in another thread on HOA's - I have nothing against people who do these things, I just don't want to live near them.

 

[WAYNO]

Well, a feller may not want to agree or understand it, but there are two sides to the HOA issue.

I spent a good portion of my life in rundown neighborhoods, with junker cars on blocks, and oil and antifreeze running down the street from the junker cars. The houses were caving in, and the yards were weedbeds. There were no visible CC&R's, (Southeast Portland), so there was nothing anybody could do, except move if ya didn't like it.

Many years later I did move. To a nice neighborhood with decent houses, nice yards, and no cars on blocks and no RV's parked on the street. There are CC&R's, and anybody purchasing a house here signed a statement they'd agree to these very simple CC&R's. The neighborhood stayed nice for 10 years, but then the original owners started moving away, as they were getting up in years. Then, younger folks began moving in. And by God, nobody was going to tell them what they could or couldn't do. And with NO HOA, there is no teeth to require these newer owners to abide by the agreement they signed. We've not yet created a HOA, and I hope we never have to, but that's exactly why HOA's are created. And then it's the beotch's with nothing to do that are the only folks that will stand up to run the HOA.

So, if ya don't want to live in a neighborhood with a HOA and/or CC&R's, don't move into one, and if ya do, don't sign your name to the agreement promising to abide by the CC&R's if you have no intention of doing so. And if ya move into a neighborhood, agreeing to the CC&R's, but then don't abide by your promise to cooperate, don't bellyache when a HOA is created to force compliance of the CC&R's.

And, if ya think compliance with CC&R's is your own business and nobody elses, that's not true. I have seen first hand where a person puts his heart, soul, and savings into a place, knowing the house is part of a retirement portfolio, only to have the value of their house diminished because of the neighbors property that is unsightly.

And, speaking to the other side, I have also seen over reaching HOA's that have made life miserable for what I consider non-issues. Again, all the more reason the abide by the CC&R promise you made and eliminate the need for a HOA.

 

[pharmseller]

i wanna live out in the county out of city limits so i can shoot and do whatever the F i want

That's me, brother. My little slice of heaven is a football field wide by two football fields long. We're a parcel off the road, so I can't see pavement unless I look way down in the valley. Can't see my nearest neighbor. Two seasonal creeks. Wildlife abounds.
Got a pistol range in the back yard. I strung chunks of 4"x4" in the trees so I could shoot off the back deck. 22 shorts will spin the blocks pretty good.
I do velocity testing in the NE corner by the house. Set up the chrono, find velocity, then go to the range for accuracy testing.
Not bad.







HOA can K my A




P

 

[Tarawa86]

And by God, nobody was going to tell them what they could or couldn't do. And with NO HOA, there is no teeth to require these newer owners to abide by the agreement they signed.

This is what baffles me; it's not even that much work keeping a house and yard presentable. A house is a huge investment, I'm not sure why anyone would spend that much money and then proceed to trash it, or let it get so rundown that it can't be sold without spending $20k.

 

[Tarawa86]

my neighbors are awesome. if theres an HOA, i dont know about it. im gonna miss'm when we move.

i wanna live out in the county out of city limits so i can shoot and do whatever the F i want

That's our plan also. Hopefully when we retire we'll still be able to get a decent chunk of land in Texas or Florida.

 

[Tarawa86]

That's me, brother. My little slice of heaven is a football field wide by two football fields long. We're a parcel off the road, so I can't see pavement unless I look way down in the valley. Can't see my nearest neighbor. Two seasonal creeks. Wildlife abounds.
Got a pistol range in the back yard. I strung chunks of 4"x4" in the trees so I could shoot off the back deck. 22 shorts will spin the blocks pretty good.
I do velocity testing in the NE corner by the house. Set up the chrono, find velocity, then go to the range for accuracy testing.
Not bad.

View attachment 553419

View attachment 553420

View attachment 553421

HOA can K my A

P

It's a good thing you don't have an HOA. Those deer are not uniform in size or color and are clearly out of compliance.

 

[Mikej]

I don't have any truly dumb HOA problems. We had a HOA member that was Nazi-like, but they moved and it's been pretty peaceful since.

@Mikej might be able to share some "non HOA" stories.

Hey! Being a little smart arse huh? My non-HOA story is still alive. There's only two zombies left. The city cleaned up the house/yard taking six 8 yard truck loads out. Boosted/arrested the people there. Two zombies came back and are living in the fifth wheel and small motor home. They keep the place immaculate. As immaculate as you can a pea gravel front yard. No rubbish anymore and nothing piling up. I can live with that better than the opposite stories told on this thread.

Flicker is the bird. I took out the one that was putting holes in our house with a pellet gun. Probably was not the best idea to be sneaking around my house at 6am in underwear and a t-shirt trying to kill it. neighbors probably should have called the cops on me.

Yep, flicker. My name is Mike, and I'm a bird feeder with a $35.00 a month habit. Just this morning I washed the neighbors car to get the crow crap off it.

And @AMT ....You WIN The Internet with those stories!