HOA Stories. Whatcha got?

[Baseacegoku]

Give me your best or worst HOA story.

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[AMT]

We were going to have our roof re-roofed. We filled out the "Request" paperwork - per HOA CC&R's.

I filled it out and in the description I put "It will be exactly like what is on it now. Just NEW."

An HOA "volunteer member" (who is a female dog and "volunteers" to be on the HOA committee because she is a...... well, a FEMALE DOG!!! )

She proceeded to tell me "you probably can't get that kind of shingles anymore because back when the house was built they didn't have these 40 year shingles that we now require."

"Where does it say in the CC&R's that I have to have 40 year shingles? I see where it says 30 or more."

"WELL 40 IS MORE THAN 30, ISN'T IT??" (with an eye roll)

Wife and I were already looking at 40 year shingles but I just had to say "30 or more as written in the CC&R's, not 40 as you state."

"Well I'll just deny your request." Then walks to her car and drives away.

The following day I get notification that my request for a roof was denied. So I walk over to the HOA Manager's house (who happened to live 4 doors from me). I talked with her and she asks a bunch of questions about the roof. I tell her that it is exactly like what is on it now, except it will be brand new. She says she sees nothing wrong with my request and "will talk" with the members of the HOA Approval Committee. She signs it "APPROVED".

A few days later the roofers show up and by the end of the day we have a new 40 year roof.

The female dog comes flying up to my house and gets out and starts in on me. "Why did you go above my head?" "You'll be sorry." blah blah blah. Then she says "you can't have that roof because the CC&R's state that the shingles must be of darker tones."

"Define darker tones."

"Dark. You know DARK."

So I point to a house that is 4 doors down from me and say "you mean dark like that?" (My roofing was darker than that house)

"NO, even that is too light."

"AMAZING. Did you know that is the Managers house and she just got her roof re-done last Summer?"

She got in her car and drove way.

Then 2 other people (in separate cars) pull up to my house, while the female dog parked up the street. They got out and both said "that really is a lighter color than we'd like. You may have to change it."

"REALLY?!?!?! Who's gonna pay for that?"

"Well, you will. See, this is why you should have gotten approval first."

So I show them my copy of the "Request" with the managers signature on it "APPROVED".

They walked over to the managers house and got her to come down to my house. They all stood in the street looking at the roof. I say "this is the EXACT color that was on it since it was built. This is just a new roof. AND, it is darker than yours."

She says, "yup, it sure is, isn't it." She turns to the other buffoons and says "Looks perfectly within the rules to me. We'll talk about this later."

They all leave.

To this day, on occasion I get nasty letters saying that they "think" my roof is too light and that I need to change it.

 

[Member 34319]

I don't have any truly dumb HOA problems. We had a HOA member that was Nazi-like, but they moved and it's been pretty peaceful since.

@Mikej might be able to share some "non HOA" stories.

 

[Kruel J]

When I lived in Meridian, ID I put up a bunch of Christmas lights and some inflatables as well. Really went all out.

I get a knock on my door at around 6pm. I was eating dinner. I answer it and it was the whole HOA board. I thought I was done for sure.


They handed me a $250 Home Depot gift card. Apparently I had won the neighborhood lighting contest. Unanimously.

I miss Idaho.

 

[AMT]

Per our CC&R's we are supposed to "ask permission" to put up a fence, or change a fence."

Well, my 4x4 post for the fence were put in with my house when it was built in 1988. Needless to say they are breaking at the base of them because they have rotted and are weak. When the windy season hits us I'd always lose a post or 2 and have to fix that section.

Well I'm out digging out the old concrete and up pulls a car and a guy gets out and walks over to me. He asks "whatcha doing?"

"Building a boat! What's it look like."

"Well I'm on the HOA Committee and we don't have any paperwork for you to work on your fence."

(A this point I realize it's a punk on the Committee who appears to have a chip on his shoulder. You know the kind..... about 5' 7", small hands and small feet. Someone who was definitely picked on in school.)

"The CC&R's says if I change my fence it needs to meet certain criteria. I'M NOT CHANGING IT. I'M FIXING IT BECAUSE IT BLEW DOWN WITH ALL THESE DANGED WINDS!"

He says "you need to stop work until you fill out a request and we approve it."

"No!"

He goes away.

A senior member of the committee (who I've known for many years) comes up to me with paperwork already filled out and says, "____ could you please just sign this? I'll approve it and we'll file it complete." So, for whatever reason it did sign it. She approves it right there and asks if I want a copy. "No thanks. We both know it's approved and signed."

Winds come around again and I lose more 4x4's. Now, the HOA monthly meeting is right around the corner. I decide that I am going to it. It is brought up that "People are just doing whatever they want without filling out the "request form". There was some conversations going about that, and a guy sitting about 2 seats from me, looks right at me and says "Yeah, like this guy putting up a fence without filling out the request form."

I snap! "IF YOU THINK I AM GOING TO ASK YOUR PERMISSION TO FIX MY BROKEN FNECE, YOU ARE F__KING CRAZY!!!"

The room went silent. I'm still PO'd. I look at the board members and state "I will NOT ask for anyone's permission to fix my broken fence! PERIOD!!!"

The guy then looks at me and says, "well if you change it you have to fill out a request form."

"I'M NOT CHANGING IT! I AM FIXING IT BECAUSE IT BLEW DOWN WITH ALL THE WINDS!!!!"

The board (manager) looked at me and said that I was OK to do what I was doing. They understood the situation.

I left.

 

[Member 34319]

Per our CC&R's we are supposed to "ask permission" to put up a fence, or change a fence."

Well, my 4x4 post for the fence were put in with my house when it was built in 1988. Needless to say they are breaking at the base of them because they have rotted and are weak. When the windy season hits us I'd always lose a post or 2 and have to fix that section.

Well I'm out digging out the old concrete and up pulls a car and a guy gets out and walks over to me. He asks "whatcha doing?"

"Building a boat! What's it look like."

"Well I'm on the HOA Committee and we don't have any paperwork for you to work on your fence."

(A this point I realize it's a punk on the Committee who appears to have a chip on his shoulder. You know the kind..... about 5' 7", small hands and small feet. Someone who was definitely picked on in school.)

"The CC&R's says if I change my fence it needs to meet certain criteria. I'M NOT CHANGING IT. I'M FIXING IT BECAUSE IT BLEW DOWN WITH ALL THESE DANGED WINDS!"

He says "you need to stop work until you fill out a request and we approve it."

"No!"

He goes away.

A senior member of the committee (who I've known for many years) comes up to me with paperwork already filled out and says, "____ could you please just sign this? I'll approve it and we'll file it complete." So, for whatever reason it did sign it. She approves it right there and asks if I want a copy. "No thanks. We both know it's approved and signed."

Winds come around again and I lose more 4x4's. Now, the HOA monthly meeting is right around the corner. I decide that I am going to it. It is brought up that "People are just doing whatever they want without filling out the "request form". There was some conversations going about that, and a guy sitting about 2 seats from me, looks right at me and says "Yeah, like this guy putting up a fence without filling out the request form."

I snap! "IF YOU THINK I AM GOING TO ASK YOUR PERMISSION TO FIX MY BROKEN FNECE, YOU ARE F__KING CRAZY!!!"

The room went silent. I'm still PO'd. I look at the board members and state "I will NOT ask for anyone's permission to fix my broken fence! PERIOD!!!"

The guy then looks at me and says, "well if you change it you have to fill out a request form."

"I'M NOT CHANGING IT! I AM FIXING IT BECAUSE IT BLEW DOWN WITH ALL THE WINDS!!!!"

The board (manager) looked at me and said that I was OK to do what I was doing. They understood the situation.

I left.

Next time use their logic.

Send a complaint in that the wind changed your fence without permission and the board needs to ensure the wind doesn't go around changing fences without the approval.

Blame the HOA for not ensuring the wind isn't changing your fence.

 

[AMT]

We are having the shop built in our backyard. I pulled out about 110' feet of 1x6x6 cedar boards and cut the 4x4 posts off so the "heavy equipment" could have free access to the back yard to do what they needed to do.

*YES, I went through the whole HOA approval process and dealt directly with the person that I've known for years, and the manager.

During the Fall portion of the building process there was dirt, mud, crude being driven from the back yard to the street. I get a piece of paper in my mailbox that I am being put on notice because of all the mess that is going on and coming from my house. And that if I didn't remedy it immediately they would "take action" against me.

I laugh and file it with the building paperwork (HOA approval). The following week I get another notice that basically stated "Being you chose to ignore the first notice, this is your second and final notice. If it isn't taken care of further action will be taken."

I put on my rubber boots, grab a jacket, grab an umbrella and walk through the sideways blowing rain to the Manager's house (remember.... 4 doors down from mine). I ask her "WTF?" in so many words. She looks at it and says to me, "What are you supposed to do about it. That mud is coming from the equipment entering and leaving your property."

"NO S__T!!! Will you have a talk with them?"

"Absolutely. Just ignore this and I hope the construction is going well."

It's raining, not hard, but enough to need a jacket and hat. I'm out talking with the guys building the shop. A car whips around in front of my house abruptly. The lights flash and the horn honks. I was asked "who's that?" I have no idea and just shrug my shoulders. I assume the person was trying to do a U-turn and hit the lights and horn by accident.

Then about 2 mins later the lights start flashing and the horn starts again. When I look over the guy inside rolls his windows down and fingers me to come to him.

Knowing it is a HOA buffoon, I shake my head and wave my arm for him to come to me. Laughing with the crew the whole time. The guy drives off.

That evening around dinner I get a knock on the door. I open it and there are 3-4 people standing there - some close to the door, others many feet away with a look of fear. The guy at my door says "when I motion for you to come to me, I mean it."

"Who are you and what the eff do you want?!?!?!"

"Most of us are with the HOA Committee and we are here to talk with you about what is happening here."

"AND?!?!"

"We've given you 2 warnings about the mess that have been ignored. Before we give you our 3rd and final warning we want to know what steps you've taken to clean up this mess that it in violation of many of the CC&R's."

"Do you see construction?"

"Yes. We've noticed that. That doesn't answer our question. When will this mess be cleaned up?"

"So you do see the construction? Are you kidding me about cleaning up the mess while construction is still going on?"

"No. This is in violation of many of the CC&R's and needs to be cleaned up."

"You don't sit in your car and flash your lights and honk at me and expect me to come running. If you want to talk with me, get out of your car and walk your happy a_s over to me. I don't care if it is raining our not! When you can collectively get 1/2 a brain between all of you come back and talk to me! The mess will be cleaned up when the effing construction is completed!!! Now, get off my property and leave me along or I'll go talk to an attorney and sue your for harassment!"

They just stood there in awe. I then raised my voice quite a bit more and said "GET OFF MY PROPERTY! NOW!!!"

They turned and left.

The following day that manager and the gal I've known for years, came down and talked with me. They said that the people that I threatened last night are considering filing a lawsuit against me. I told them what happened and offered to let them see the security recording.

"You have the threat and confrontation recorded without their knowledge or consent?"

"Yup, just like now talking with you. You came onto my property and it is posted that I have security camera's. Not my fault that "the committee" is stupid. They all need to be replaced! Go back and tell them to bring it on! We'll all be in the courtroom."

We all talked and they asked (AGAIN) about the mess. I again pointed out the fact that there is construction in process. When it is complete it will be cleaned up, and not 1 minute before. They understood, thanked me and an walked away.

 

[AMT]

We used to have a small tool shed in our backyard that was there when we bought the house. I believe it was about 8x12. The CC&R's specifically state that any structure in the backyard should not be able to be seen from the street.

About 2 years after we buy the house we get notification that the shed can be seen from the road and that was in violation of the CC&R's. It stated that we needed to have it removed or taken down.

OVER YOUR DEAD BODIES!!!!

I go through our files that we received with the house. I find the original "request" and approval for the shed. It has dimensions, drawings, plot layout, where it will be, etc. EXACTLY where it was at then!

So I march my happy a_s over to the gal that I know (who is on the committee) and show her the paperwork that I received, and the approval paperwork. She shrugs her shoulders, shakes her head, and says, do you realize that is MY signature on the request paperwork? We both laugh, she makes a copy of the paperwork and says, "Thanks for the laugh today. I needed it. Don't worry about the notice, I will take care of this."

 

[Caveman Jim]

There is no way that I could ever sign on for this type of harassment.

Right turn Clyde...

 

[Mister Bisley]

We are having the shop built in our backyard. I pulled out about 110' feet of 1x6x6 cedar boards and cut the 4x4 posts off so the "heavy equipment" could have free access to the back yard to do what they needed to do.

*YES, I went through the whole HOA approval process and dealt directly with the person that I've known for years, and the manager.

During the Fall portion of the building process there was dirt, mud, crude being driven from the back yard to the street. I get a piece of paper in my mailbox that I am being put on notice because of all the mess that is going on and coming from my house. And that if I didn't remedy it immediately they would "take action" against me.

I laugh and file it with the building paperwork (HOA approval). The following week I get another notice that basically stated "Being you chose to ignore the first notice, this is your second and final notice. If it isn't taken care of further action will be taken."

I put on my rubber boots, grab a jacket, grab an umbrella and walk through the sideways blowing rain to the Manager's house (remember.... 4 doors down from mine). I ask her "WTF?" in so many words. She looks at it and says to me, "What are you supposed to do about it. That mud is coming from the equipment entering and leaving your property."

"NO S__T!!! Will you have a talk with them?"

"Absolutely. Just ignore this and I hope the construction is going well."

It's raining, not hard, but enough to need a jacket and hat. I'm out talking with the guys building the shop. A car whips around in front of my house abruptly. The lights flash and the horn honks. I was asked "who's that?" I have no idea and just shrug my shoulders. I assume the person was trying to do a U-turn and hit the lights and horn by accident.

Then about 2 mins later the lights start flashing and the horn starts again. When I look over the guy inside rolls his windows down and fingers me to come to him.

Knowing it is a HOA buffoon, I shake my head and wave my arm for him to come to me. Laughing with the crew the whole time. The guy drives off.

That evening around dinner I get a knock on the door. I open it and there are 3-4 people standing there - some close to the door, others many feet away with a look of fear. The guy at my door says "when I motion for you to come to me, I mean it."

"Who are you and what the eff do you want?!?!?!"

"Most of us are with the HOA Committee and we are here to talk with you about what is happening here."

"AND?!?!"

"We've given you 2 warnings about the mess that have been ignored. Before we give you our 3rd and final warning we want to know what steps you've taken to clean up this mess that it in violation of many of the CC&R's."

"Do you see construction?"

"Yes. We've noticed that. That doesn't answer our question. When will this mess be cleaned up?"

"So you do see the construction? Are you kidding me about cleaning up the mess while construction is still going on?"

"No. This is in violation of many of the CC&R's and needs to be cleaned up."

"You don't sit in your car and flash your lights and honk at me and expect me to come running. If you want to talk with me, get out of your car and walk your happy a_s over to me. I don't care if it is raining our not! When you can collectively get 1/2 a brain between all of you come back and talk to me! The mess will be cleaned up when the effing construction is completed!!! Now, get off my property and leave me along or I'll go talk to an attorney and sue your for harassment!"

They just stood there in awe. I then raised my voice quite a bit more and said "GET OFF MY PROPERTY! NOW!!!"

They turned and left.

The following day that manager and the gal I've known for years, came down and talked with me. They said that the people that I threatened last night are considering filing a lawsuit against me. I told them what happened and offered to let them see the security recording.

"You have the threat and confrontation recorded without their knowledge or consent?"

"Yup, just like now talking with you. You came onto my property and it is posted that I have security camera's. Not my fault that "the committee" is stupid. They all need to be replaced! Go back and tell them to bring it on! We'll all be in the courtroom."

We all talked and they asked (AGAIN) about the mess. I again pointed out the fact that there is construction in process. When it is complete it will be cleaned up, and not 1 minute before. They understood, thanked me and an walked away.

Man, you would make an awesome neighbor

 

[AMT]

There was a time that I had an abundance of vehicles (in 2009). 2 were parked in our driveway, and one was parked in the street in front of my house. (this was before our shop was built).

Well, the CC&R's state that you cannot have non-running vehicles parked in front of your home. All vehicle need to be in driving running condition. (I like this CC&R. I've driven (weaved around obstacles) in some neighborhoods where it looked like the cars were striped and just abandoned in the street.)

I get notice that states there was "a vehicle that has been observed to have been parked in front of my house that hasn't moved for quite some time. And that it was against CC&R rule..... blah blah blah.

Now, the only vehicle that was parked in front of my house at the time was my 7 year old 2000 Dodge Dakota 5.9 R/T. That I drove every few days to keep the fluids good. My few month old 2009 Tundra was parked in the driveway next to my wife's 2006 4Runner.

I walk down to the manager's house and show her the notice. She bugs her eye's and says "what newer vehicle of yours are they referring to???"

I ask if she wants to take care of it our should I proceed with the attorney and start legal proceedings against the "committee" for harassment?

She took the paper and said she'd take care of it.

 

[pharmseller]

This is my HOA Committee





They seem to be okay with whatever I do.




P

 

[AMT]

We have a 6' cedar fence around our whole backyard, except for the very back where it is about 4' high so there is unobstructed view of the trees and green space behind our yard. It is still our property, but unusable as it is green space. So there are a BUNCH of trees, etc. So mush so, that we cannot see any neighbor behind us.

Next to us is a transmission line corridor that is privately owned property.

We were cleaning out our garage (the one attached to our house) one summer. The weekend before we had taken our ATV's out to play. Being lazy we left the ATV trailer attached to our R/T and just pulled ito into the back yard. We were going to clean the garage and wash the ATV's before putting back into the garage.

We also had our 66' Mustang out of the garage and parked in the backyard. We were going to wash and put a wax on it prior to putting away too.

We also had our riding mower, and all sorts of stuff in the backyard.

Yup, you guessed it, we get a notice that we are in violation of the CC&R's by having stuff parked in our backyard.

Now understand, you couldn't see anything from the street.

So I walk over to the manager and asked her to come outside and"take a little walk with me".

She smiles and says "Now what, _____?"

We walk to the front of our house and I hand her the piece of paper. She reads it and looks up towards our house. She says "WHAAAAAT??? I'll take care of this."

So she come back the next day with a puppet from the "committee". They stand in front of my house and the manager asks, "Where do you see anything?"

The moron says, come here. And proceeds to walk down my fence line, on the private property, and gets to my back fence that is 4' high, and walks onto my property and points to everything in the backyard and says "All of that is against the CC&R's. This time you need to do something about him!"

I look at him and her and say "By your own admission, proof and documentation, you are trespassing on private property. MY PROPERTY! Now, get off and be it noted, with witness, that if you ever come on to my property again that I will sue! I am tired of the harassment. NOW GET OFF!!!!"

The manager looked at him and said "he's right. You can't go onto his property. He's got a point, that is trespassing."

Then I point to the transmission line right-of-way that we walked down. I proceeded to point out that it was also private property and he had no right trespassing on it either.

He proceeded to tell me that it was public property all around there and he had every right to walk on it.

I proceeded to point our where my property began at the road and were it ended in the green space behind my house. I then proceeded to explain the transmission right-of-way next to our property and how, in fact, it was actually PRIVATE property.

The manager smiled and started walking away.

I thought he was going to have a brain aneurism right there on the right-of-way property!

 

[AMT]

Come on guys, I can't be the only one......

 

[Gbirk]

My parents had a frog living under their porch. The HOA sent them a letter telling them it was causing a noise issue from all the croaking.

My dad found it and moved it to the neighbors yard who was the HOA president.

WTF is he supposed to do about a loud wild frog?

 

[ZA_Survivalist]

We were going to have our roof re-roofed. We filled out the "Request" paperwork - per HOA CC&R's.

I filled it out and in the description I put "It will be exactly like what is on it now. Just NEW."

An HOA "volunteer member" (who is a female dog and "volunteers" to be on the HOA committee because she is a...... well, a FEMALE DOG!!! )

She proceeded to tell me "you probably can't get that kind of shingles anymore because back when the house was built they didn't have these 40 year shingles that we now require."

"Where does it say in the CC&R's that I have to have 40 year shingles? I see where it says 30 or more."

"WELL 40 IS MORE THAN 30, ISN'T IT??" (with an eye roll)

Wife and I were already looking at 40 year shingles but I just had to say "30 or more as written in the CC&R's, not 40 as you state."

"Well I'll just deny your request." Then walks to her car and drives away.

The following day I get notification that my request for a roof was denied. So I walk over to the HOA Manager's house (who happened to live 4 doors from me). I talked with her and she asks a bunch of questions about the roof. I tell her that it is exactly like what is on it now, except it will be brand new. She says she sees nothing wrong with my request and "will talk" with the members of the HOA Approval Committee. She signs it "APPROVED".

A few days later the roofers show up and by the end of the day we have a new 40 year roof.

The female dog comes flying up to my house and gets out and starts in on me. "Why did you go above my head?" "You'll be sorry." blah blah blah. Then she says "you can't have that roof because the CC&R's state that the shingles must be of darker tones."

"Define darker tones."

"Dark. You know DARK."

So I point to a house that is 4 doors down from me and say "you mean dark like that?" (My roofing was darker than that house)

"NO, even that is too light."

"AMAZING. Did you know that is the Managers house and she just got her roof re-done last Summer?"

She got in her car and drove way.

Then 2 other people (in separate cars) pull up to my house, while the female dog parked up the street. They got out and both said "that really is a lighter color than we'd like. You may have to change it."

"REALLY?!?!?! Who's gonna pay for that?"

"Well, you will. See, this is why you should have gotten approval first."

So I show them my copy of the "Request" with the managers signature on it "APPROVED".

They walked over to the managers house and got her to come down to my house. They all stood in the street looking at the roof. I say "this is the EXACT color that was on it since it was built. This is just a new roof. AND, it is darker than yours."

She says, "yup, it sure is, isn't it." She turns to the other buffoons and says "Looks perfectly within the rules to me. We'll talk about this later."

They all leave.

To this day, on occasion I get nasty letters saying that they "think" my roof is too light and that I need to change it.

That is the kind of stuff that would get me thrown in jail for an assault charge.
People like that need a good throat punch to curb their little power trip.

 

[Member 34319]

Come on guys, I can't be the only one......

Lol, no my HOA team is a real fun bunch that fights owners over weeds and distances of garbage cans from doorways.

You're lucky that at least the head of your board is a good friend and neighbor. Sounds like she is level headed.

I'm working to get onto my board. Our neighborhood nazi moved and there is an opening, I've expressed interest to join for years, but they don't like me because I've pointed out their hypocrisy and stupidity from the start.

Our nazi has done "changes to their landscaping" without approval. They sited me for changing my front yard without approval. I asked the management firm that handles our HOA for all of the requests submitted. Sure enough, they never submitted one for their change.

I put in shrubs in my yard and tore out all of my grass as it dies every year and I didn't want to pay for watering it in the summer. HOA creates a rule under their "discretion" clause that all properties need grass on the door side of your property. I put in one 2'x2' piece of grass. It also dies every year. Once my bushes are tall enough, I'll stop replacing the 1 piece of sod each third or forth write up I get.

 

[AMT]

Lol, no my HOA team is a real fun bunch that fights owners over weeds and distances of garbage cans from doorways.

You're lucky that at least the head of your board is a good friend and neighbor. Sounds like she is level headed.

I'm working to get onto my board. Our neighborhood nazi moved and there is an opening, I've expressed interest to join for years, but they don't like me because I've pointed out their hypocrisy and stupidity from the start.

Our nazi has done "changes to their landscaping" without approval. They sited me for changing my front yard without approval. I asked the management firm that handles our HOA for all of the requests submitted. Sure enough, they never submitted one for their change.

I put in shrubs in my yard and tore out all of my grass as it dies every year and I didn't want to pay for watering it in the summer. HOA creates a rule under their "discretion" clause that all properties need grass on the door side of your property. I put in one 2'x2' piece of grass. It also dies every year. Once my bushes are tall enough, I'll stop replacing the 1 piece of sod each third or forth write up I get.

One of our neighbors went on a vacation for 2 weeks. When they got back they had a notice taped to their door with a picture of a few weeds (dandelions) that sprouted up while they were gone.

 

[v0lcom13sn0w]

my neighbors are awesome. if theres an HOA, i dont know about it. im gonna miss'm when we move.

i wanna live out in the county out of city limits so i can shoot and do whatever the F i want

 

[AMT]

A few houses in our neighborhood have ripped out their yards and put gravel, landscaping in. My wife wanted to do the same, so we did. I also wanted a flag pole so I could raise the American flag in my front yard.

We had a pencil-head come down and said we had violated the CC&R's, and that they would be back with a write up.

I said to mention in the write up that all the other people in the neighborhood (who had asked for, and was granted permission) need to be written up too. I also said to put in the report that the flagpole (which other people in the neighborhood have) offends them in some way.

This will make for good news!

I've never heard anything from the jackwagons!