Do you know how easy it is to get a restraining order and how it messes you up?

[goatguns]

well gunner drink one for me and I am glad some thing good actually came from a court room for once.

 

[Gunner3456]

I'd have a hard time scrounging up 15k, so I look at it a bit differently. I'd likely take the lawyer's advice and at least try to recoup the costs, but only the costs. The cow felt no repercussions from this false claim, and you got bent over. If there were a possibilty of dealing with this cow and the courts some time in the future, I'd worry about a judge asking me why I didn't at least try to get reimbursed for the costs of a bogus restraining order. Actually getting any blood from the turnip would be secondary.
Just my .02. Best of luck, gunner.

The "trust" is actually just everything Dad owns. Even his monthly SS check is automatically deposited into it. His car is titled to the trust. His household possessions belong to the trust. If I took the money from the trust, I'd simply be taking Dad's money and he doesn't have much money. For instance I recently bought him a new TV with my (and my wife's) money because his quit.

I'll eat it. I'm just so relieved to be released from that restraining order.

 

[zeppelin]

You you have my support, as i also have "walked the walk" in this regard. Three years ago my aged mom and step dad set up all their wills, trusts, and documents at my urging (I paid for it and requested they leave me nothing). They ended up making me the trustee and leaving everything to their great grand daughter. They passed away just last year. But in the interim, my sister twice filed criminal assault and battery charges against my crippled 85 year old mother, which I had to pay an attorney to see the judge and get the charges dismissed. She also had my mom involuntarily committed to a hospital mental ward which I also had to deal with and ultimately get my mom into a proper assisted living facility. Then my step dad's family got into the act (he was pretty out of it with alzheimers near the end) and had him sign over his power of attorney to them, had him sign a new will that left everything to them, and had him file for divorce from my mom, his wife of 30 years. This was all so they could dissolve the trust and get their hands on the money. They even tried to pursue the divorce after my step dad died in their efforts to dissolve the original trust. Fortunately, I had a better attorney than any of these guys but I ended up paying about $12K in attorney fees and another $20K to a social worker business to help look after my mom's interests during the last months of her life (I live in WA and she lived in NM). The last two years of my folks life ended up being a living nightmare for me, but if it hadn't been for the wills, living wills, power of attorney, and trusts they set up, it would have ended very badly for them. Fortunately I was able to take care of them through the trust until they passed and there was a tidy sum left over in the trust for their intended beneficiary. So.....I know where you are coming from Gunner. You are doing the right think standing by your dad and protecting him from the vultures that are out there. Good on you.

 

[Decker]

Sweet Jesus this thread is horrible... damn there's a lot of greedy asshats out there in this world!

 

[Gunner3456]

Sweet Jesus this thread is horrible... damn there's a lot of greedy asshats out there in this world!

Just be careful who you deal with and how you do it. A restraining order loses you your CHL forever unless you can much later get it expunged from the record, and you can't have any guns in your home during the year (or more if it's extended) you have the restraining order.

It also goes into NICS and you can't buy a gun from a dealer. It could very well stop you from getting a job when you apply. It stays on your record for years, although I can't remember how long.

ANYONE can go to the courthouse and fill out a form and sign it and you have a restraining order that you have to fight in court. Even if you're innocent, you never know how a judge will rule.

I honestly think I got lucky, even though I didn't do anything wrong. Liars can bury you.

 

[HalfNutz]

Sounds like your Dad has a pretty darn good son!

Yep, but I'd still do as your lawyer suggested and counter-sue her. A little 'instant karma'.

 

[HalfNutz]

Sweet Jesus this thread is horrible... damn there's a lot of greedy asshats out there in this world!

I've seen it way too many times. A death in the family somehow brings out the worst in human behavior.

Fortunately, my father is a retired financial/estate planner. He's got everything locked up solidly. My estranged sister has gone kinda whackadoodle over the past few years and I worry about her intentions at times.

 

[zeppelin]

Besides greedy relatives with bad intentions (which was bad enough), my experience was that there is a whole industry of different types of businesses out there whose sole purpose seems to be to bleed old sick people out of every dime they have. Some fill a legitimate need but the prices they charge are nothing short of obscene. Others are just scam artists that prey on folks who can't protect themselves. None seem to have any ethics whatsoever and it was a constant effort and drain on resources to beat them back.

 

[deen_ad]

5 years ago. Luckily (?) I'm an only child so I didn't have the "fights" that are being posted. I only had to go through years of phone calls from collection agencies as there was no money to pay the credit cards. It finally ended but I had a stack of notes about the 2 or 3 calls a day the collection agency was making to us, even on weekends and nights. As we were cleaning up their papers we found bank statements and checks made out to my son totaling about $250,000. At least he got someting out of the estate. I got the headaches though!!
Now that my step daughter died two years ago and left some bills we're getting calls from collection agencies about her debts.

Deen
NRA Benefactor/Recruiter
WAC Member
ACSWW Member

 

[Stomper]

Hmmm... how is it that debtors think that by calling surviving family members that they are going to get paid? Is there some law that says surviving family members personally assume the deceased's outstanding debts outside of liquidating and distributing any remaining estate to go towards satisfying those debts?

I'll be buggared if'n I'm going to be personally liable for the debts my mother and father may accrue and my signature isn't on any outstanding contract!

 

[Riot]

To answer more specifically, my lawyer wants to sue them for "wrongful use of civil proceedings" but I said no.

You, sir, are a better man than I.

Family or not, once the police were involved, my guns taken, a restraining order under false pretenses made I would have rode that boat until it sank with everyone on it.

Sure, everyone would remember the jerkoff in the family that sued...but nobody is going to remember you for NOT persuing this and I'm sure that there are even some family members that are taking her side.

The last three years I've learned a harsh truth...the nice guys gets shat on all the time. Luckily you saw her guesture to "borrow" the car for what it was (sounds like you've had some dealings with her in this area in the past). But 15K later? To me, that's months of work...months of paychecks and hard earned money that someone stole from you by telling a lie in an attempt to steal something else.

Mainly this reply is to vent. I see my wife getting taken advantage of all the time...I've loaned money to "friends" just to watch them dissapear and change their numbers and an Army buddy throw away our friendship over $300 (the cost he agreed to pay for my 87 camero but took off after I gave him the title).

Like I said, you are a better man that I.

 

[Gunner3456]

You, sir, are a better man than I.

Family or not, once the police were involved, my guns taken, a restraining order under false pretenses made I would have rode that boat until it sank with everyone on it.

Sure, everyone would remember the jerkoff in the family that sued...but nobody is going to remember you for NOT persuing this and I'm sure that there are even some family members that are taking her side.

The last three years I've learned a harsh truth...the nice guys gets shat on all the time. Luckily you saw her guesture to "borrow" the car for what it was (sounds like you've had some dealings with her in this area in the past). But 15K later? To me, that's months of work...months of paychecks and hard earned money that someone stole from you by telling a lie in an attempt to steal something else.

Mainly this reply is to vent. I see my wife getting taken advantage of all the time...I've loaned money to "friends" just to watch them dissapear and change their numbers and an Army buddy throw away our friendship over $300 (the cost he agreed to pay for my 87 camero but took off after I gave him the title).

Like I said, you are a better man that I.

Thanks, but I want my life back. A lawsuit can drag on for months and if appealed, years. They already messed up my life once and I'm not going to waste any more of my life being daily angry, seeing lawyers, appearing in court, etc. I have better things to do. When you're involved in something like this, you can't sleep, it's never off your mind...

It ain't worth it to let them keep me tied up in this. I want to be away from them and work on being happy again.

 

[Trlsmn]

Thanks, but I want my life back. A lawsuit can drag on for months and if appealed, years. They already messed up my life once and I'm not going to waste any more of my life being daily angry, seeing lawyers, appearing in court, etc. I have better things to do. When you're involved in something like this, you can't sleep, it's never off your mind...

It ain't worth it to let them keep me tied up in this. I want to be away from them and work on being happy again.

The only people that win in court are the lawyers!

 

[ZachS]

The only people that win in court are the lawyers!

Tell that to a lawyer paid on contingency, a prosecutor passed over for promotion, or a defense lawyer with an innocent client that gets sent to prison...

Outside of situations like that, your comment still stands.

 

[Gunner3456]

The only people that win in court are the lawyers!

50% of all lawyers lose in court, but get paid big bucks anyway. Think about it.

 

[pdxjohann]

Gunner, I respect what you and your wife have been doing to watch out for Dad. Luckily, you can afford to chip in cash. Since your dad is tight on cash flow for his later years, consider the positives of a reverse mortgage. You can free up the equity of his home for either a monthly check - something like an annuity - or if needed a lump sum or a combination. Depending on his age and equity of the home determines how much a monthly check is available. Then when it comes time to sell the home, the balance is repaid.

 

[Gunner3456]

Gunner, I respect what you and your wife have been doing to watch out for Dad. Luckily, you can afford to chip in cash. Since your dad is tight on cash flow for his later years, consider the positives of a reverse mortgage. You can free up the equity of his home for either a monthly check - something like an annuity - or if needed a lump sum or a combination. Depending on his age and equity of the home determines how much a monthly check is available. Then when it comes time to sell the home, the balance is repaid.

He got a reverse mtg in 2002 and has used most of it up. He could scrape together about 100k and has no equity left in the house due to the mtg.

100k isn't much because medicare doesn't pay for nursing homes if he needs it, at about $6k per month. If he runs out of money medicaid would pay, but then we keep reading in the paper about that being cut back so who knows? I may wind up paying that too.

 

[Gunner3456]

Holy cow! $15,000.00?:huh:

I think you were also the victim of being charged excessive attorney fees

Not at all. $250 per hour adds up fast. We had lots of meetings, and don't forget he charges 1/2 hour minimum for every email I send or that he sends and for every phone call lasting less than 1/2 hour.

We had NO intention of losing and we had 11 witnesses to subpoena documents from, get organized, meet and go over all of it several times...

We had 4 depositions, each lasting about 2 hours... That's $2k right there.

When you have the money and don't give a dang how much it costs, you can kick azz. When you're right and you have the possibility of a restraining order staining your record, you DON'T care how much it costs.

At times we had a second atty in the same firm doing research for us. I did NOT intend to lose.

 

[CEF1959]

100k isn't much because medicare doesn't pay for nursing homes if he needs it, at about $6k per month. If he runs out of money medicaid would pay, but then we keep reading in the paper about that being cut back so who knows? I may wind up paying that too.

You're lucky he's got the Medicare. Let's hope Medicaid doesn't get cut. Where would a guy like your father be without government health care?

 

[Trlsmn]

You're lucky he's got the Medicare. Let's hope Medicaid doesn't get cut. Where would a guy like your father be without government health care?

Where would he be if he didn't have to pay for medicade all his working life? Probably $200,000 richer!