Dad jokes are not just for dads!

[CamoDeafie]

Leopards and cougars

Do you know what the difference between a leopard and a cougar is?

A leopard can drag something twice its weight up a tree.

A cougar can drag someone half her age into bed .

 

[Xaevian]

The difference between the toys in Toy Story and Catholic priests:








The toys go limp when kids are around.

 

[CamoDeafie]

I went to an Indian fabric store and found the fanciest material

"This would make a beautiful sari", said the sales associate.

"Nah, I'm gonna making a Sikh hat out of it," I replied.

She looked a bit put off.

"Sorry, not sari," I thought.

 

[Flopsweat]

A NU START, ya perv.

 

[bradsteen]

A NU START, ya perv.

View attachment 1826913

 

[CamoDeafie]

WHat do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Holy roller

 

[Flopsweat]

WHat do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Holy roller

What do you call a psychiatrist with no arms and no legs in a ditch?

Dr. Phil

 

[bradsteen]

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs, floating in the water?

Bob

 

[sobo]

WHat do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Holy roller

@Joe Link, where's that Groan emoji you promised us?

 

[sobo]

What do you call a psychiatrist with no arms and no legs in a ditch?

Dr. Phil

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs, floating in the water?

Bob

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on the porch?

Matt

 

[CamoDeafie]

@Joe L:ink, where's that Groan emoji you promised us?

How do you measure traveling dad jokes?

by how many miles per groans

 

[sobo]

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?

Art

 

[bradsteen]

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on the porch?

Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pot?

Stew

 

[CamoDeafie]

What do you call beef made without the left side of the cow?
Alright steak

 

[bradsteen]

What do you call beef made without the left side of the cow?
Alright steak

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

 

[Flopsweat]

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pot?

Stew

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the bushes?

Russel

 

[CamoDeafie]

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

Meat made from a cow with one side taller

Lean beef

 

[bradsteen]

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a newspaper?

Red.

 

[sobo]

Meat made from a cow with one side taller

Lean beef

What do you call a girl with one leg amputated?

Eileen

 

[Flopsweat]

What do you call an Irishman with no arms or legs who hangs out at the pool?

Paddy O'Furniture.