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I use Honest Amish beard balm every couple days. Use Detroit beard oil about once a week. I wash my beard every other day.
Brush and comb for training it to grow a certain way. Beard balm to maintain good healthy hair follicles.
Washing too much robs your face of sebum.
My beard is pretty soft and not too unruly.
Whether this is what should be done I'm not sure. It works for me.
I tend to research too much so I bought that stuff based one what the internet told me I needed. I'm pretty sure my dads big badass beard grew just fine in the 70's without all that...
As long as your beard doesn't smell like an old sock or dirty/sweaty belly button in between washing every other day...