What's your way to deal with scam "your social security is suspended, police is coming" or similar calls?

[WAW44]

Got another one today.

Depending on my mood, I alternate between:

- Gibberish baby talk "gubuya bubuya, dubaya dubay agubua...."

- Gibberish talk in my mother tongue.

- My best impression of a male porn start giving his best radio performance.

Yea, I know , I should not pick them up, but sometimes it's fun.....

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[Lilhigbee]

Usually I ignore them, but occasionally I answer by mistake, maybe expecting a call from an unknown number. These responses usually silence them.
The police (IRS, whoever) are coming?? "Send them around, I'll be waiting!!"
How is your day?? "Terrible. The house burned down and we lost two kids and the dog."
The ever popular ordering pizza from them.

 

[Ramjet12]

If it's a recording I hang up. If it's a person I go nuclear prepper. COME GET ME MUTHERF****ERS. I'M LOCKED AND LOADED. BRING YOUR BODY BAGS...

They always hang up.

 

[OldTengu]

I usually work up a fart and blast away.

 

[BrentN]

Troll them back, harder. You've won when they actually start cussing you out.

 

[OldTengu]

 

[Tinman357]

Most of the ones I got are from india judging by the accent. I just scream "Harijan" and "Dalit" a lot. They dont call back after a while.

 

[CountryGent]

Depending on the moment, in order of the responses:

1. Ignore the call.
2. Hang up on them.
3. Provide them with a short, but brutally cutting statement articulating why they are lowest form of human garbage ever to grace this Earth.
4. Blast "Mud Farts" into their ear.
5. Respond to them in Spanish or German and enjoy the ensuing befuddlement.
6. When it is "your computer has a virus" call, and I have time, lead them on a delightfully hilarious bunny trail, whilst pretending to be concerned. Then cordially invite them to engage in self-fornication, laugh, and hang up.

I have faith in technology that these pukes will eventually be shut down. Until then, countermeasures shall be employed.

 

[BBQ Guy]

I answered one a few years ago as I was expecting an important call. They were persistent.
So I called back and played along then the guy got wise and hung up on me.
So then I gathered all the guys in the shop, called, speaker phone on, and I played along again for a minute. Then calmly told the guy his mom was into fornication with pigs.
One of my guys wrote on paper that he had a middle eastern accent.
He asked me to repeat myself, so I told him a bit more sternly how his mom enjoyed a pig penis every night of the week.
That sent him through the roof.
From there I unloaded the worst epithet I could conjure up for the next 2.5 minutes that ran the gamut of racism, terrorism, beastiality, incest and a few other subjects. He eventually went quite. I told him not to ever call me back.
I didn't receive any more calls.

 

[Ferryman]

This works for me: https://www.nomorobo.com/

 

[Flopsweat]

Troll them back, harder. You've won when they actually start cussing you out.

Depending on the moment, in order of the responses:

1. Ignore the call.
2. Hang up on them.
3. Provide them with a short, but brutally cutting statement articulating why they are lowest form of human garbage ever to grace this Earth.
4. Blast "Mud Farts" into their ear.
5. Respond to them in Spanish or German and enjoy the ensuing befuddlement.
6. When it is "your computer has a virus" call, and I have time, lead them on a delightfully hilarious bunny trail, whilst pretending to be concerned. Then cordially invite them to engage in self-fornication, laugh, and hang up.

I have faith in technology that these pukes will eventually be shut down. Until then, countermeasures shall be employed.

I used to try to sell them a car. I would just interrupt them and start talking about this great car I have (I'd just make one up). Every time they try to interrupt I just interrupt back with more enthusiasm. After I finished describing the car then I'd tell them what I great deal I was going to give them. Then it was all about you aren't a man if you don't have a car. If they said I have a car I'd just go no you don't and keep right on going. It was great fun for a while. Haven't done it in years.

 

[Hemlock]

If I accidently answer one I just lay the phone down by the TV or radio speaker and walk away.
In the old days, the land-line was on the wall by the frig. "I'd put them on ice." I'd put the receiver in the freezer and let them listen to the fan run.

 

[TTSX]

I do not answer numbers that aren't in my contacts. Period. If it's important, they'll leave a message. If the message is important, I'll call them back. If a serious alphabet soup agency needs me, they know where I live and I'll get mail or a knock on the door. I don't answer the door. Unless I'm expecting a pizza, of course.

I know, not interesting but I just don't care to deal with people if I don't absolutely have to

 

[Mikej]

I do not answer numbers that aren't in my contacts. Period. If it's important, they'll leave a message. If the message is important, I'll call them back. If a serious alphabet soup agency needs me, they know where I live and I'll get mail or a knock on the door. I don't answer the door. Unless I'm expecting a pizza, of course.

I know, not interesting but I just don't care to deal with people if I don't absolutely have to

Yep this^. Good old answering machine on a land line! Haven't got the computer virus thing for a long time. But most of them don't talk when they get the machine. Numbers that come up two or more times in a day or three get blocked via *60.
Th latest have been, in the coolest, dire, depressing voice, says something about a $379.00 purchase at Amazon or visa card, has been made. "If you recognize this purchase just hang-up. If you didn't make this purchase call this ### immediately".

 

[BrentN]

I do not answer numbers that aren't in my contacts. Period. If it's important, they'll leave a message. If the message is important, I'll call them back. If a serious alphabet soup agency needs me, they know where I live and I'll get mail or a knock on the door. I don't answer the door. Unless I'm expecting a pizza, of course.

I know, not interesting but I just don't care to deal with people if I don't absolutely have to

My same habits, for my cell. I maintain a landline, this is my junk number.

 

[Labradorian]

Troll them back, harder. You've won when they actually start cussing you out.

I had a fake Microsoft call me once. I asked for their employee number because "I'm a FTE and can look you up in the employee directory' and 'I just want to be friends, maybe you're on a good team'.

Downward spiral from there....

My same habits, for my cell. I maintain a landline, this is my junk number.

If you're in my contacts, maybe, otherwise I'll probably ignore your voicemail too.

I gave up on my land line about 5 years ago. Waste of money.

 

[ilikegunspdx]

Robokiller app is golden for me. U never have to take the call cuz it knows it's a scam and automatically ties them up for a long time with reverse robo messages. Below is the message that my phone plays when they call. It automatically records it so you can listen to it later.

this one cracks me up too. I can't find it on their list though so maybe it's a custom one (you can record your own reverse bot messages).

 

[Labradorian]

A classic and one of the best responses ever.

 

[ilikegunspdx]

A classic and one of the best responses ever.

That's an awesome one! I love the ones where the message is super aggressive. It finally gives them a dose of their own medicine. They think people's time is of no value and it's ok to try to scam people. A little bit of justice! I think the makers of these apps should hold a competition for funniest and most convincing message. That would be great fun!

 

[ilikegunspdx]

Another option is to use google voice. It's a free extra cell phone line that u can use for all purchases/whatever where you don't want to use ur real number. Helps a little bit, but they still can get real number somehow.

For google voice I only use the auto translate feature where it sends u a written out description of their message via email. That way u can see their message only on email and it doesn't disrupt ur regular phone.