What not to say at the company Christmas Party

[wired]

wife..."Who's THAT"

Me..."Oh, That's Maria in finance"

wife " You said all the girls in finance were ugly. She's beautiful "

Me..."I know, right? "

Stupid open bar.

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[Geardo]

Yikes!

 

[Member 34319]

After years of making stupid comments at work get togethers, I've learned two things.

Do not drink the free booze.

Don't talk.

 

[slimmer13]

Funny, just last night

Wife "you know so and so that I work with?"

Me "I think so, the younger dark haired girl?"

Wife "we're the same age"

 

[Goosebrown]

"No. Which one was she?"

Repeat after me...

 

[v0lcom13sn0w]

heres what ive learned:

dont go

 

[jbett98]

Don't take the wife.

 

[cigars]

 

[DuneHopper]

Went to a recent one.
Ate the food, nodded in acknowledgment drank a coke alcohol free.
And then watched everyone get drunk but me and the Mrs....and watch them all say really dumb stuff
you can hold against them later
Made for a fun conversation on the way home.

 

[P7M13]

Christmas party 1989. Wife was fairly unsocial and did not join me.
Great prime rib, all you can drink, good music. Dancing with one of the secretaries, tall woman walks up and asks if she can butt in.
We dance three, increasingly sensual numbers and near the end of the third, I say to her, "wow, you are totally hot." Less than 5 seconds later, I hear a very familiar voice, "mind if I dance with my wife?" It's the 2nd director of engineering. Forever after that until I left the company, he treated me like an interloper and insulted me at every opportunity.

 

[wired]

It's the 2nd director of engineering. Forever after that until I left the company, he treated me like an interloper and insulted me at every opportunity.

I was the packaging engineer in charge of a packaging dept. at a coffee roasting company ( Wired. Get it? ) Got a new VP of Ops. Snotty, b!tchy lady from Starbucks. She brought me into her office and asked me " Wired, What do you think my biggest challenge is going to be? "

"Well, the CEO isnt going to let you into the fold. Old boys club sort of thing. Listen, I drink scotch with those guys and play poker with them while smoking their cigars . They won't let you in". I was right of course.

If she could have stabbed me in the face right then and there she would have. Finally after a year of her TRYING to make me quit I did. Production plummeted within days , they lost major contracts and the CFO, plant manager and her all got fired.

 

[CoastRange57]

Work people are the last ones I want to socialize with. If you do, make sure that everyone else is getting drunk, smoking dope and snorting coke and grabbing azz. That way everybody has the goods on everybody else and nobody wants to dime anybody out, less the entire work force gets canned because somebody thinks they can get the goods on somebody else.

Some people may have even got the goods on people away from work parties and tried to use it. The best thing I ever did back in those days was simply lie through my teeth that I could not get a baby sitter, I had kids school commitments, I had family commitments, I had relatives in town, anything at all to not attend. Then when you went to work after wards, everybody would be saying " Did you hear what Joe did ? Joe got so fing drunk he grabbed the bosses wife's azz and all hell broke lose. "

Just keep my paycheck coming, flip me a $ 100 gift card to the grocery store at Christmas time and its all good. I work with those people, I do not want to party with them.

 

[Mark W.]

LOL our Christmas party at work is a little different.

It starts at 7:30 am with the office staff and boss making pancakes, Scrambled eggs, Special ordered smoked thick cut bacon, Fruit and Milk If you want coffee its out in the break room Breakfast is cooked and served to 60+ guys in the shop. Then we have a short meeting about our health bennies and maybe a comment or two by our 401K managers. Then we file out get our hearing checked and once that is done we can pickup our bonus checks and Christmas Turkeys. If you don't stand around BS'ing you can be out of there in time to be to the bank to cash the check before 11am.

But then we are a Heavy Construction and Paving co. To many guys with CDL's that only allow .04% even in our own cars. Not to mention the pee tests. And who on earth would want to pay the freight on 60+ construction workers drinking booze. I bet we could drain a Keg in an Hour!

 

[wired]

Yeah we had 90 people with open margarita and bloody mary punch bowls and I know they were mixed strong because I mixed them. First year where no one yelled obscenities at the entertainment or puked in the corner. Doing either has always been a sure fire way of experiencing a trip to my office and a "job elimination" 2-3 months later. NO ONE forgets that stuff and its just a matter of time.

 

[L84Cabo]

Nothing good ever happens at company Christmas parties. I always obtained. I saw most of those idiots way too much anyway.

 

[CoastRange57]

To many guys with CDL's that only allow .04% even in our own cars. Not to mention the pee tests.

Yeah, when we were all CDL drivers and most of the employees were, they loved those BOLI / prevailing wage jobs so they all kept their noses clean. Made life a lot easier.

 

[ron]

Back in the 90s I remember a office Christmas party gone crazy. It was at a Lake Oswego
country club that someone was a member. Open bar. The boss was having an
affair at that time with the 20 year younger secretary. Everyone new about it. Well
the secretary got pretty drunk telling everyone the "Promises" the boss has said to her.
At a different party at a big house everybody crazy drunk. They caught a couple going
at it in the laundry room. Both were married to other people that were at the party.

 

[Rickenbacher39]

I never went to company parties.
Ever.
They were co-workers, not friends.

 

[Mark W.]

Yeah, when we were all CDL drivers and most of the employees were, they loved those BOLI / prevailing wage jobs so they all kept their noses clean. Made life a lot easier.

Yea haven't seen prevailing wages in years. Some of the new guys might get a little bump but most of use make more then prevailing so the only time we see anything is what is called Truckers Fringe where the Federal Bennies are better then ours so we might see a couple bucks an hour. But those jobs are very rare Paving an Airport, Federal disaster clean up, etc. But State, County work we drivers make more then prevailing already. The equipment operators and some of the guys on the Paving crew do get a nice bump I am told.

 

[EPS]

wife..."Who's THAT"

Me..."Oh, That's Maria in finance"

wife " You said all the girls in finance were ugly. She's beautiful "

Me..."I know, right? "

Stupid open bar.

Lol hilarious .
This one time a long time ago .kinda same situation.
My other half ask the same question.
My answer mmmmm I don't know her.

Half hour later said woman walks up to us and SAYS .HEY EDDIE HOW ARE YOU DOING .
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WHERE HERE.
MM.MMMMM
you know what comes next right.




I thought you didn't know her.
Lol hehehehehehebe.
You can't win man I don't go to company party anymore .
Even though I'm single now