What have you used as monumental motivation to achieve a goal?

[arakboss]

Note: Don't worry, I am going to spare you guys from enduring another weight loss challenge thread. While it was temporarily successful, it was torture for me as it was for many of you.

If you have had a big goal in life that you were not motivated to do, what reason(s) ultimately helped you achieve the goal?

I am still struggling with getting healthy as is my wife. Neither one of us can find a big enough motivation to help us reach our goals. Nothing in the usual suspects of motivations has consistently worked and it feels like we have tried them all.

I am going to lay out two examples of extreme motivations that would probably work but for obvious reasons are not going to be useful.

Imagine an assassin company was ordered to move me on to my next life, if I did not reach my goal with in one year. In addition they would continually monitor my progress every week and if I failed to maintain the goal, it was curtains time for me. Under that situation I am pretty confident I would reach my goal and maintain it.

A lesson violent option would be if Warren Buffet agreed to give me $500,000 if I reached my goal in one year. In addition he would give $5000 a week if I maintained the goal. I believe that would be sufficient motivation to reach and maintain a goal.

I am sure there are less extreme motivations that would inspire me to reach my goal and maintain it but so far they have eluded me.

Read More

 

[CamoDeafie]

Talk to a therapist if insurance allows for it? Specifically about being unable to get motivated enough/driven enough to get healthy, as opposed to getting driven enough to post silly ideas and off-the-wall gun mod/projects?

 

[arakboss]

Talk to a therapist if insurance allows for it? Specifically about being unable to get motivated enough/driven enough to get healthy, as opposed to getting driven enough to post silly ideas and off-the-wall gun mod/projects?

IMHO, therapist are the devil, once they get their hooks in you, they have a customer for life. I have seen this close up with a family member and it is very sad how they collude with big pharma to get patients hooked on mood meds.

I am interested in motivational ideas others have successfully used, and preferably ideas that don't involve paying others.

 

[Andy54Hawken]

Mindset...and personal accountability comes into play here.

A goal I had when in the Army was graduating Ranger school.
When my class started we had around 70 Ranger School Candidates ....at graduation we had 25 ...myself included.
Motivation...was simple here...to get done with what was needed...in order to earn the title of Ranger.
Easy to say...difficult to do
Plus the idea of failure and being recycled into a new class was not appealing ...amazing what motivation positive peer pressure can and will bring.
Having a partner to help you here ....may be wise.

Take stock of oneself ...and making the goal one that you can obtain is important.
This may mean...a single or even a few smaller goals to make , before the final big or main goal.
As the old saying goes....a journey of a thousand miles , starts with a single step.
You may not have to get there all at once...Remember it is your goal...and your goal needs to be reached on your timeline.
Andy

 

[arakboss]

Talk to a therapist if insurance allows for it? Specifically about being unable to get motivated enough/driven enough to get healthy, as opposed to getting driven enough to post silly ideas and off-the-wall gun mod/projects?

You might be surprised but it takes very little drive to do this

 

[CamoDeafie]

My late father was a mental health counselor. He was also ordained as a minister, a reverend. And spent his last years as a volunteer chaplain for Salem Hospital before cancer took him. USAF then Army Reserves/NG as a chaplain. Anyways. Not all therapists, or those who work in mental health field are the devil.

 

[arakboss]

My late father was a mental health counselor. He was also ordained as a minister, a reverend. And spent his last years as a volunteer chaplain for Salem Hospital before cancer took him. USAF then Army Reserves/NG as a chaplain. Anyways. Not all therapists, or those who work in mental health field are the devil.

I am sure you are right but the field in general doesn't give me warm and fuzzy feelings, especially when pharmaceuticals become involved. I feel the same way about medical Doctors in general.

 

[dplev4]

Congruent to ideas expressed above and of which you already appear aware is discipline. I'm retired. One of the goals I felt necessary to achieve a comfortable retirement was to be debt free. So about 15 years before my planned retirement my wife and I (and more me-because I needed it more than she did) initiated a budget. We slowly but consistently paid off all our debts and made sure we funded our 401k's which we had been funding but at their allowable maximums.

You have to realize that your goal is a necessity and not something optional for you.

 

[JustSomeGuy]

Never be afraid to ask for assistance. In this case, I'd think the "go to" would be a life coach, not a therapist. Doesn't seem to be a mental health issue as much as a goals/motivation issue... and they can't get you "hooked" on any pharmaceutical products.

 

[arakboss]

Congruent to ideas expressed above and of which you already appear aware is discipline. I'm retired. One of the goals I felt necessary to achieve a comfortable retirement was to be debt free. So about 15 years before my planned retirement my wife and I (and more me-because I needed it more than she did) initiated a budget. We slowly but consistently paid off all our debts and made sure we funded our 401k's which we had been funding but at their allowable maximums.

You have to realize that your goal is a necessity and not something optional for you.

This statement is the most important one. I have to feel like my goal is a necessity and I currently don't feel that is the case. That doesn't mean the goal isn't important and worth pursuing but my current view is that life will go on relatively normal, if I don't achieve the goal.

If the goal was more pressing such as getting a job so I didn't lose the roof over my head, that would likely be easier to find motivation to do. Health related goals are much less absolute. I could continue on my current path for many more years and probably decades.

I tend to respond more to extrinsic motivations rather than intrinsic motivations. The problem with extrinsic motivations is that they are generally not as sustainable in the long term. I think this is why so many people yo yo diet. Taking genetics out of it, I suspect the people who are skinny all their lives are probably more intrinsically motivated to do so.

 

[Nosferatu]

Try having a heart attack. That should get you off your bubblegum.

 

[arakboss]

I have an addictive behavior which shows up in my shopping and eating habits. It occurred to me that addictions are intrinsically motivating, in the sense that they make you feel good doing them and I don't need extrinsic rewards to continue doing them.

If I could use this addictive behavior to become healthier that may make it sustainable for the long term. For example if I became addicted to working out at the gym and eating vegetables, my health would likely improve. Short of some type amazing hypnotism, I don't see that happening but it's an area to explore.

 

[arakboss]

Try having a heart attack. That should get you off your bubblegum.

It's interesting you bring that up. One of my old bosses had a heart attack and had a quadruple bypass as a result. He started eating better and riding his bike. He even completed one of those multi day bike rides like Cycle Oregon. He slimmed down for awhile but then he got into smoking and barbecuing meats, next thing you know his huge gut was back and no more bicycling. He is still alive but probably due for another heart attack one of these days. Food is a very powerful attraction to many and even having a heart attack doesn't always break the attraction.

 

[Andy54Hawken]

Addiction....
Often when trying to overcome addiction , one simply trades one addiction for a different one.
That is not good...since an addiction...is still an addiction.

You need to "re-train" your brain and how it thinks.
Breaking a habit is difficult at best.
Overcoming addiction is tougher than that.

While the idea of trading one behavior for another is worth exploring and trying....
Again I caution you against having the new behavior becoming an addiction.

Recognizing what is harmful to you....is good.
Next step is to see just what you are getting from that behavior.
Is what you have to do or the consequences of your actions / behavior worth the result...?

If you don't like the result...do something different.
Again...not easy to do in practice...and easy to turn into yet another problem.
Andy

 

[Nosferatu]

It's interesting you bring that up. One of my old bosses had a heart attack and had a quadruple bypass as a result. He started eating better and riding his bike. He even completed one of those multi day bike rides like Cycle Oregon. He slimmed down for awhile but then he got into smoking and barbecuing meats, next thing you know his huge gut was back and no more bicycling. He is still alive but probably due for another heart attack one of these days. Food is a very powerful attraction to many and even having a heart attack doesn't always break the attraction.

It's not about breaking the attraction, but managing the intake.

I too am a food lover, but keeping track of my calories and having willpower to keep my portions reasonable keeps me from becoming obese.

Exercise make a huge difference as well. You don't need to go to a gym, I walk ~6 miles a day. It's not as long of a distance as it sounds. 3 times a day for ~30 minutes and you've covered it. A bit of fresh air and movement does wonders for the psyche.

Keep hydrated. Drinking water helps your metabolism.

Take supplements where needed. Vitamin C and D at a minimum.

The thing is, you have to GENUINELY want to make a lifestyle change for it to stick. You also don't have to make all the changes overnight. Gradually work in new habits and modify them as necessary. Before you know it, you've changed your lifestyle and didn't even notice it, outside of needing to buy new pants.

 

[MTpockets]

For the kids....

...and I really don't want these brats dancing on my grave.

Try a free 3-day Virtual Summit...

SHAPE YOUR BEST YEAR EVER AT THE 2024 TIME TO RISE SUMMIT

Create a Success Plan for 2024 Live at This Free January Event with Tony Robbins Become the Person You Were Meant to Be in 2024 With Tony Robbins on January 25-27 When… will you become the person, you were always meant to be?When… will the world experience the true greatness that lies within...

www.tonyrobbins.com

 

[L84Cabo]

IMHO, therapist are the devil, once they get their hooks in you, they have a customer for life. I have seen this close up with a family member and it is very sad how they collude with big pharma to get patients hooked on mood meds.

I am interested in motivational ideas others have successfully used, and preferably ideas that don't involve paying others.

I agree with this mostly. I do think a REALLY good therapist can help SOME people. The problem is that the number of REALLY good therapists out there is...like...2%. And that is being generous. You really have to do your research and due diligence to find a good one.

I also think that much of therapy is geared toward how women deal with issues and not how men do. Then again, what do I know. I'm just some guy on the interwebz. *shrugs*

 

[arakboss]

I agree with this mostly. I do think a REALLY good therapist can help SOME people. The problem is that the number of REALLY good therapists out there is...like...2%. And that is being generous. You really have to do your research and due diligence to find a good one.

I also think that much of therapy is geared toward how women deal with issues and not how men do. Then again, what do I know. I'm just some guy on the interwebz. *shrugs*

I would agree with that assessment. I am sure there are a few good ones out there. I would rather find the right motivation without their help though.

 

[L84Cabo]

Here's the problem with motivation IMO... Motivation is an emotion. And like all emotions it will let you down eventually. You never want to have to rely on emotion for anything that is truly important.

DISCIPLINE is what gets the job done.

But discipline is something that is built over time. If you haven't built a strong foundation with it and then want to attempt something monumental, you're probably not going to be very successful.

Now with respect to getting healthy...and I don't know what you've done so far and where and how you've failed. But here are some things that I see happening over and over with people that causes them to fail.

Doing way too much all at once. Understand that any changes you are trying to make in this area are likely pretty big changes. Just trying to incorporate regular consistent exercise into your life is a HUGE adjustment for most people. But I often see people pile things on...they'll start going to the gym to lift weights, along with trying to do cardio several times a week, along with making big changes to their diet, etc. They do this all at once which, overall, leads to a massive amount of change overall. And they usually end up failing miserably.

Pick a single thing to focus on. And make it small and simple in the beginning and do it for 90 days. Maybe this is going for a 30 minute walk three or four times a week. Or maybe cutting out all processed foods from your diet. But the first steps you take should be small and achievable. You want to succeed at these first steps because it can greatly help with that motivation that you're having problems with. And it usually takes a good 60-90 days for something to become a habit. Sometimes longer. Once you've done this for 90 days, then pick the next small step to go after and add it in.

You also have to make sure you're picking things that you can live with for the rest of your life. If you decide to start running, for example, but you absolutely hate running, you will not be able to maintain this for the rest of your life. Or a moderate diet that you can stick to for the rest of your life is going to be better than an extreme diet that you get sick of after a month and quit. You have to find foods that you like. Because nobody has succeeded with eating foods that make them miserable.

 

[arakboss]

Here's the problem with motivation IMO... Motivation is an emotion. And like all emotions it will let you down eventually. You never want to have to rely on emotion for anything that is truly important.

DISCIPLINE is what gets the job done.

But discipline is something that is built over time. If you haven't built a strong foundation with it and then want to attempt something monumental, you're probably not going to be very successful.

Now with respect to getting healthy...and I don't know what you've done so far and where and how you've failed. But here are some things that I see happening over and over with people that causes them to fail.

Doing way too much all at once. Understand that any changes you are trying to make in this area are likely pretty big changes. Just trying to incorporate regular consistent exercise into your life is a HUGE adjustment for most people. But I often see people pile things on...they'll start going to the gym to lift weights, along with trying to do cardio several times a week, along with making big changes to their diet, etc. They do this all at once which, overall, leads to a massive amount of change overall. And they usually end up failing miserably.

Pick a single thing to focus on. And make it small and simple in the beginning and do it for 90 days. Maybe this is going for a 30 minute walk three or four times a week. Or maybe cutting out all processed foods from your diet. But the first steps you take should be small and achievable. You want to succeed at these first steps because it can greatly help with that motivation that you're having problems with. And it usually takes a good 60-90 days for something to become a habit. Sometimes longer. Once you've done this for 90 days, then pick the next small step to go after and add it in.

You also have to make sure you're picking things that you can live with for the rest of your life. If you decide to start running, for example, but you absolutely hate running, you will not be able to maintain this for the rest of your life. Or a moderate diet that you can stick to for the rest of your life is going to be better than an extreme diet that you get sick of after a month and quit. You have to find foods that you like. Because nobody has succeeded with eating foods that make them miserable.

I feel like discipline follows motivation. For example I make it to work on time and everyday because of discipline. The reason I have the job is because I have the extrinsic motivation to get a paycheck.

If I am sufficiently motivated to lose weight, I have the discipline to do so. I proved that in my weight loss challenge where I dropped 80+ pounds in a little over a year.

I can conger up discipline when I want to but the motivation needs to come first.

I have a goal of wanting to live beyond my 80s and live independently until my last breath. I have a lot of control over when I take my last breath but living independently beyond my 80s will be much more difficult to control.

Finding sufficient motivation to get there is the next step.