To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

HappyRoman · May 27, 2009

could not resist sharing this.. probably a hoak, and maybe should be in off topic, or ? but here goes.
"
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I

hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.

You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

I hope you somehow come across this message.. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol

after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a

reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.

You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model

1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder

holster for it that evening Beautiful pistol, he?

It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't

it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to

wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your

pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your

shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up

any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.

I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had

her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also

bought myself and four other people in the gas station this morning a

Tank full of gas on your credit card.. The guy with the big motor home

took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by

Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.

I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the

curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the

drivers side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They'll be on

your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut

down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I

don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut

off your service.

I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's

Office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we

had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number).

I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead

making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider

your choice of path in life Next time you might not be so lucky.

--Alex--

P.S. Remember this motto...... An armed society is a polite society!

ltwtcmdr · May 27, 2009

I hope this really happened, I wanna believe......

finch6013 · May 27, 2009

this was on the forum a few months back. I never did figure out if it was for real or not.

slythorne · May 27, 2009

This has been floating around the internet for years now...

Every hear of snopes.com??

Wenis · May 27, 2009

I don't know about years, since it was posted originally during the second week of January 2009. Then again, that can seem like a long time in the immediate gratification that is the internet.

tionico · May 28, 2009

since it was posted originally during the second week of January 2009

could just as easily have been cut and pasted into a new email/post, thus losing its history. Often done.

Fact is, if the guy actually did use his credit card, give the money/shoes away, make phone calls, etc, then HE could be run up the flagpole in his BVD's... cute story, though. It gets to the heart of the matter pretty well. Turnabout's not appreciated amngst such rapscallions

slythorne · May 28, 2009

Wenis said:
I don't know about years, since it was posted originally during the second week of January 2009. Then again, that can seem like a long time in the immediate gratification that is the internet.

I guess you are right. It isn't all that old. I have just seen it posted so many times it feels like it has been years.

gjohnson · May 28, 2009

sounds like a missed connection post on craigslist.

jimwsea · May 28, 2009

And the guy with the gun would likely do more time for theft, identity theft, car prowling and damage to private property because he went beyond detaining the criminal until the police arrived.

SheepDog223 · May 28, 2009

jimwsea said:
And the guy with the gun would likely do more time for theft, identity theft, car prowling and damage to private property because he went beyond detaining the criminal until the police arrived.

Yeah, it's a very nice thought. But not my personal defence plan.

CharlesAFerg · May 28, 2009

jimwsea said:
And the guy with the gun would likely do more time for theft, identity theft, car prowling and damage to private property because he went beyond detaining the criminal until the police arrived.

Exactly what I was thinking. Besides, the credit card would be tracked when you make a purchase. I was lost after the guy started using his credit card. :s0131:

ARclint · May 31, 2009

True or not, legal or not, Im a vindictive SOB myself.
Vigilantism should always be at least this painful for evil men.

The citizen who took the liberty of firing a shot at my 77 year old neighbors home the other day and blowing his truck tire out comes to mind.

gimlet1/21 · Aug 31, 2009

Reminded me of this video on you tube, still don't know if this is real also.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bCVD_oyLOs

If the link doesn't work the vid is called " hillbillies messed with the wrong guy"