I threw a pissed off 'coon at my wife tonight...

[CoastRange57]

Neighbors had a couple of wolf malamute dogs that hated raccoons, coyotes and would kill them every chance they got. They ran two coons up a big fir tree at my place on night and waited in shifts at the bottom of that tree for 2 days until the coons came down and they killed them both in 2 hours.

My son let his Lab puppy out one morning about 0430 and this big boar coon came after him. He chased the coon off, damn thing was back the next morning and he stuck a broadhead clean through it and then dumped it in the ditch on the way to work. That is how you handle coons in town.

 

[The Nothing]

I use a Hava-Hart trap and there's really no way for the door to accidentally open. What brand trap were you using?

The same. It didn't seem to like to be suspended i guess. I also didn't make sure the lock was engaged.

Back in college we used to "hunt" raccoons on campus. Just going around and beaming them with a 100k spotlight to stop 'em in their tracks. Of course, we were in downtown Seattle, so we couldn't do more than that

 

[jsparks747]

We had a raccoon issue but our 18-pound muscle cat with 1/2 inch claws took care of that. One dead raccoon and one missing half its tail.

 

[Andy54Hawken]

Soooo...
Early one morning I hear a huge ruckus from our kitchen and living room.
Turns out a racoon came in thru our cat door.
Racoon does not want to be in the house ... Our dog and cats do not want the 'coon in our house.
Chase ensues ... All over the house , yowling , spitting , barking , growling...
Both the front door and back door are open , hoping he will run out.
We do live in the "city" ... so shooting isn't the best option...

I do not own a air rifle and I'm pretty sure my wife does not want a .54 caliber hole in our house...
Also at 3.00 am , I'm not the best with my bow.... the chase ends back in the kitchen .... Mr.'coon is cornered , cats and dog plotting his demise...

Light bulb in my head goes off...
I go to my library and retrieve my spear ( Doesn't everyone keep a spear in their library? )
So there I was 3.30 am , one dead 'coon ( shish kabobed so to speak ) ...house is safe again from a home invader ...
Feeling pretty good about myself I turn to my wife...

That's when I realize that all the lights are on in the house...both doors are open ... and the neighbors are awake and watching from our driveway...
All of that wouldn't be too bad but ....
I do not sleep in pajamas ... Nor anything else.

So there I was in all my naked neanderthal glory with a pack of excited house pets loudly expressing their joy at my hunting prowess ... a deceased 'coon dangling from a spear and the neighbors aghast ... boy did I have 'splaining to do.

On the plus side we do not have to go to very many "block parties" anymore...
Andy
Edit for pre-coffee spelling.

 

[11Charlie]

Soooo...
Early one morning I hear a huge ruckus from our kitchen and living room.
Turns out a racoon came in thru our cat door.
Racoon does not want to be in the house ... Our dog and cats do want the 'coon in our house.
Chase ensues ... All over the house , yowling , spitting , barking , growling...
Both the front door and back door are open , hoping he will run out.
We do live in the "city" ... so shooting isn't the best option...

I do not own a air rifle and I'm pretty sure my wife does not want a .54 caliber hole in our house...
Also at 3.00 am , I'm not the best with my bow.... the chase ends back in the kitchen .... Mr.'coon is cornered , cats and dog plotting his demise...

Light bulb in my head goes off...
I go to my library and retrieve my spear ( Doesn't everyone keep a spear in their library? )
So there I was 3.30 am , one dead 'coon ( shish kabobed so to speak ) ...house is safe again from a home invader ...
Feeling pretty good about myself I turn to my wife...

That's when I realize that all the lights are on in the house...both doors are open ... and the neighbors are awake and watching from our driveway...
All of that wouldn't be too bad but ....
I do no sleep in pajamas ... Nor anything else.

So there I was in all my naked neanderthal glory with a pack of excited house pets loudly expressing their joy at my hunting prowess ... a deceased 'coon dangling from a spear and the neighbors aghast ... boy did I have 'splaining to do.

On the plus side we do not have to go to very many "block parties" anymore...
Andy
Edit for pre-coffee spelling.

HAHAHA now that has got to be one of the funniest things I have ever read!

 

[RicInOR]

Soooo...
Light bulb in my head goes off...
I go to my library and retrieve my spear ( Doesn't everyone keep a spear in their library? )
.

Some how we need a NWFA get together so you can regale us with your adventures.

 

[salmonriverjohn]

Some how we need a NWFA get together so you can regale us with your adventures.

Agreed! Perhaps reserve a county park for a get together in the middle somewhere?
It could be great.

 

[Member 5605]

Bummed I still can't see the photo....

 

[Libertas7]

and the neighbors are awake and watching from our driveway... neighbors aghast ... boy did I have 'splaining to do.

You mean your neighbors aren't use to you yet? Did you just move or something?

 

[Ura-Ki]

.45 Auto does a great job of dispatching pizzed off coons. The trick is a head shot. I aint tellin any more then that! LOL

 

[Siglvr]

^^Great read^^

Our old 13 year old dog got skunked the other day. Bam, sprayed right in the face. I had thought that an old dog would have it figured out, so don't take this the wrong way, but next time you go out to do battle with a critter: if instead of a cute Zorro mask it has a black with a white stripe down it's back, don't trap it (or spear it!). At all. Just let it finish it's business and walk away. I have a couple options for you though in case it doesn't walk off.

1st) If you have a total asswipe neighbor, like the total douchbag guy who hates everyone - don't be in a rush as this is a slow process: put some eggs and such under his porch. Putting a used mattress you found in a crack house in there for the critters to lay on while they eat the eggs to be comfortable isn't an issue as they don't care about offensive smells like some human folks. If they like the space, they'll move in there. Don't ask how I know all this.

2nd) If you do happen to snag one in a live trap, just call animal service folks and pretend you are the itinerant gardener working on the house next door or some such. The story is that you see the poor animal who can't get out stuck in a trap blah blah blah. But insist they come out an get the lil fella cause no one is home and you are afraid it's starving. If they resist, go all SJW, get a few names, verify that they know you are recording (even if you aren't) and also suggest that the news folks would love this story cause it will go viral fer sure. The end result is they come out and pick the critter up.

Wish I'd had this advice a bit ago. Hope that helps ya!

 

[Gaucho Gringo]

Soooo...
Early one morning I hear a huge ruckus from our kitchen and living room.
Turns out a racoon came in thru our cat door.
Racoon does not want to be in the house ... Our dog and cats do want the 'coon in our house.
Chase ensues ... All over the house , yowling , spitting , barking , growling...
Both the front door and back door are open , hoping he will run out.
We do live in the "city" ... so shooting isn't the best option...

I do not own a air rifle and I'm pretty sure my wife does not want a .54 caliber hole in our house...
Also at 3.00 am , I'm not the best with my bow.... the chase ends back in the kitchen .... Mr.'coon is cornered , cats and dog plotting his demise...

Light bulb in my head goes off...
I go to my library and retrieve my spear ( Doesn't everyone keep a spear in their library? )
So there I was 3.30 am , one dead 'coon ( shish kabobed so to speak ) ...house is safe again from a home invader ...
Feeling pretty good about myself I turn to my wife...

That's when I realize that all the lights are on in the house...both doors are open ... and the neighbors are awake and watching from our driveway...
All of that wouldn't be too bad but ....
I do no sleep in pajamas ... Nor anything else.

So there I was in all my naked neanderthal glory with a pack of excited house pets loudly expressing their joy at my hunting prowess ... a deceased 'coon dangling from a spear and the neighbors aghast ... boy did I have 'splaining to do.

On the plus side we do not have to go to very many "block parties" anymore...
Andy
Edit for pre-coffee spelling.

I still can't stop laughing about this post. On the other hand you are lucky it happened where you live rather than say Portland or Seattle. I can just see the neighbors calling the police, which in turn they would be hauling you away in a straitjacket and the morning news plastered with crazy naked gun owner with spear goes insane and it is a good thing we found his arsenal of weapons, pounds of explosives and the weapons using high explosives instead of propellant. I hope this sounds a little far fetched but in today's world, who knows?

 

[Andy54Hawken]

It is a pretty funny story ... And yes I'm glad it happened up here in podunk Everson....
Otherwise I think your spin could have easily played out.
Luckily we do live in a small town ... and folks still have common sense. ( for now )
Andy

 

[Siglvr]

My wife has only gotten upset at me twice
1st: when I texted her after getting bitten by a monocled cobra (I wasn't experiencing any neurotoxic symptoms, so I didn't think it an emergence worthy of a phone call)

Wait...wut? Backup here a moment....

 

[11Charlie]

It is a pretty funny story ... And yes I'm glad it happened up here in podunk Everson....
Otherwise I think your spin could have easily played out.
Luckily we do live in a small town ... and folks still common sense. ( for now )
Andy

I can see it now!! Hey honey isn't that our daughters teacher?

 

[Stinkerbelle]

I go to my library and retrieve my spear ( Doesn't everyone keep a spear in their library? )

You keep your spear in the bathroom????

 

[Andy54Hawken]

Ha ... I have a library separate from the bathroom ... At last count over 1500 books in the house , mostly in the room made to be a reading room / library.
Andy

 

[Stomper]

Soooo...
Early one morning I hear a huge ruckus from our kitchen and living room.
Turns out a racoon came in thru our cat door.
Racoon does not want to be in the house ... Our dog and cats do not want the 'coon in our house.
Chase ensues ... All over the house , yowling , spitting , barking , growling...
Both the front door and back door are open , hoping he will run out.
We do live in the "city" ... so shooting isn't the best option...

I do not own a air rifle and I'm pretty sure my wife does not want a .54 caliber hole in our house...
Also at 3.00 am , I'm not the best with my bow.... the chase ends back in the kitchen .... Mr.'coon is cornered , cats and dog plotting his demise...

Light bulb in my head goes off...
I go to my library and retrieve my spear ( Doesn't everyone keep a spear in their library? )
So there I was 3.30 am , one dead 'coon ( shish kabobed so to speak ) ...house is safe again from a home invader ...
Feeling pretty good about myself I turn to my wife...

That's when I realize that all the lights are on in the house...both doors are open ... and the neighbors are awake and watching from our driveway...
All of that wouldn't be too bad but ....
I do not sleep in pajamas ... Nor anything else.

So there I was in all my naked neanderthal glory with a pack of excited house pets loudly expressing their joy at my hunting prowess ... a deceased 'coon dangling from a spear and the neighbors aghast ... boy did I have 'splaining to do.

On the plus side we do not have to go to very many "block parties" anymore...
Andy
Edit for pre-coffee spelling.

At least the neighbor ladies weren't pointing at your nekkid schwanz and giggling that it must be cold in your house at night....

 

[Andy54Hawken]

Well I think I did hear a few sighs and "Oh my's!" ... but that might have be in reference to something else...
Andy

 

[Stomper]

Well I think I did hear a few sighs and "Oh my's!" ... but that might have be in reference to something else...
Andy

Probably wondered where the musk-ox fur came from...