I threw a pissed off 'coon at my wife tonight...

[The Nothing]

Really...
So, we've had a small raccoon problem for awhile. I thought I had cut off all access for the damned thing, but it still managed to come back to this lil nook created between our carport and garage. It was kinda the bane of my existance sometimes. I wanted to borrow a suppressed 22 and take care of it (sucks living close-in PDX)

Today, I finally got a trap.

And I put the trap on the roof.

Couple hours later, BAM! Gotcha good!

I inspected the space it called home, because the wife didn't want to learn of any babies being left behind. It was clear, so I boarded it up, yet again, and threw in some wire fencing as an added bonus.

Of course, I still hadn't even looked to make sure there was something in the trap at that point, I just could see that it had been tripped and the door was closed. So, 10 o'clock at night, I drag the ladder to the front of the house and climb up on the roof of the carport.

As soon as my eyes crested the roof I could see the eyeshine. I needed something to remember this nemesis by, so I took out my phone for a quick photo (above). It was (naturally) pissed. Even pissed all over itself and the roof. It was spitting and howling mad. Fortunately I had the foresight to tie a rope to lower the trap back down

On the way back down from the roof it got pissed again, howled, coughed, spit... and somehow managed to knock the door open. It jumped and landed inches from my wife's toes, bounced into a basement window well, jumped out (again, next to my wife) and ran off...

My wife laughed at me and said "goodnight"

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[v0lcom13sn0w]

racoons are tough as hell. thats all im sayin. lol

 

[L84Cabo]

I imagine if I had a raccoon problem that it would pretty much go exactly the same. You have a very good natured wife. I've never been that lucky with my taste in women.

 

[Gaucho Gringo]

Daniel Boone used to stare them down according to legend. If he could do that then he is a better man than me.

 

[WAYNO]

inches from my wife's toes, bounced into a basement window well, jumped out (again, next to my wife) and ran off...

My wife laughed at me and said "goodnight"

Most wives, even most men, would not have laughed it off so easily. Reminds me of a dumb story...

At my work, we shipped out the full rail cars every night. One of the shippers found a dead possum, and thought it would be funny to place the possum on the brake wheel of a box car. When the train crew came in, the switchman climbed up to release the brake on the boxcar, and put his hand on the possum. That guy just about crapped himself! And he was MAD!

I know, not a bit funny, but it still makes me laugh when i tell the story.

WAYNO.

 

[The Nothing]

...put his hand on the possum. That guy just about crapped himself! And he was MAD!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Sounds like good fun to me!
My wife has only gotten upset at me twice
1st: when I texted her after getting bitten by a monocled cobra (I wasn't experiencing any neurotoxic symptoms, so I didn't think it an emergence worthy of a phone call)
2nd: When I stayed out on the river WAY later than planned and didn't call her because I had dropped of my phone in the drink earlier on in the day
She's a good sport to say the least, and she could rebuild a carb faster than I.

 

[Mikej]

I'm missing something? There's no pic. "Joke's on me"?

I'm glad I've not had to deal with one of them critters close up. They scare the crap outta me. I don't know how people in the city can feed them, on purpose! Wifey had a close up and personal with a rat that got in the garage one day. She smokes in the garage and thought I was goofing on her and outside doing something. It was the rat trying to chew its' self out of the garage.

 

[jbett98]

I use a Hava-Hart trap and there's really no way for the door to accidentally open. What brand trap were you using?

 

[Crohnos01]

I had a similar experience many years ago. A racoon had moved into our wood pile and started killing our chickens at night.. not eating them, just killing them. I decided to trap the freaking thing with the idea that racoons were like some little Disney creature... Boy did I get an education! The racoon got into the trap just fine, but that was one pissed off racoon! The growling, hissing, and spitting didn't resemble any Disney critter of any kind EVER! While transporting to the woods, the dammed thing shredded the carpet in the back of my rig as well as my son's jacket that was nearby by reaching through the cage... I rigged a rope to the release of the trap door because the thing scared the snot out of me

 

[Mikej]

I had a similar experience many years ago. A racoon had moved into our wood pile and started killing our chickens at night.. not eating them, just killing them. I decided to trap the freaking thing with the idea that racoons were like some little Disney creature... Boy did I get an education! The racoon got into the trap just fine, but that was one pissed off racoon! The growling, hissing, and spitting didn't resemble any Disney critter of any kind EVER! While transporting to the woods, the dammed thing shredded the carpet in the back of my rig as well as my son's jacket that was nearby by reaching through the cage... I rigged a rope to the release of the trap door because the thing scared the snot out of me

^^ That's what I'm talking about!!

 

[No_Regerts]

I thought this was the Blazing Saddles Quote Thread.

 

[Crohnos01]

"We don't need no stinking badges to trap coons"...... how's that?

 

[jbett98]

Another thing to consider when handling raccoons.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct...s.aspx&usg=AFQjCNEt9cFKi3ldNP6HohDrjXZ1qaCf7g

 

[Stinkerbelle]

I had a raccoon problem several years ago. They'd show up every night in the front driveway about 11:00 to 11:30 pm to forage or whatever. My dog would go crazy barking at them from the back yard, and wake me up. Finally, I got pissed one night from being woken again, got up, grabbed my pellet gun (RWS Diana in .17), got my teenage son off the couch and gave him the maglite and we headed out there. They ran up into a large maple tree, three of them. With the son on the light, first shot (lucky,lucky, lucky...) one dropped dead at our feet. The second one took about 6 to 8 shots to get him down. You could hear the pellets hit, hear him howling, but he wouldn't fall. The third one took at least a dozen shots. When he fell (from about 20 to 25 feet) he still wasn't dead. I shot him another 5 or 6 time in the head, point blank from about 2 to 3 feet (I really didn't want to get too close to him... ), he's a howling and spitting, still wouldn't die. He finally got up and crawled away, down the neighbor's driveway and into their back yard, leaving a trail of blood the whole way. I didn't think it would be wise to head into the neighbors back yard at that time of night with a long gun, so I let him go. I imagine he bled out, but that was one tough raccoon.....

 

[Crohnos01]

Makes me wonder how long Davy Crockett would have lived if he hadn't gone to the Alamo wearing one of the critters on his head

 

[Caveman Jim]

They sure ain't no play toys that's for sure.
I started hunting as an 8 yo kid and I didn't shoot them because I knew I had to eat anything I killed.....

 

[dusty]

I turned the hose on the SOBs..soaked them...they didnt come back

 

[No_Regerts]

My neighbors growing up would leave cat food on their porch for the strays. My dad kept telling her she would attract more than cats. He didnt appreciate that the neighbor would go on vacation and the animals she was feeding would come snooping around our house. They would spread trash everywhere and kill chickens. He told the neighbor, who is a huge animal lover, that if she kept it up, she would be the reason for their deaths.

One night, we killed two families of raccoons, six total, that had gotten into the trash. The dog had them up a couple trees and each one got a load of BB shot. Tough little critters. We laid them on the ground on our side of the pass-through gate between our properties. Neighbor lady was sad.

 

[No_Regerts]

Ha, the best coon kill I ever saw was my friend Matt's. He had a coon up in the rafters in his boat garage. He grabs a compound bow and skewers this coon with a broadhead. Too bad it pinned the coon to the rafter. It hung there with blood pouring out all over the place. Epic.

 

[salmonriverjohn]

Their almost as mean as mother in laws
Hit one smack between the horns with a .38 special while trapping one winter. He did the fish but then ran to the end of the drag line and I finished him, that first round had hit the skull but didn't enter, it traveled under the skin and exited the back of the head.
I tanned that hide and bleached the skull.
My son still has them,, tough sons a guns!